Remnant Lands
by y1fellas
Summary: So... you want to hear a story, is it? Alright, I got one. Great story, you'll love it. It's about madmen and corporate intrigue, mercenaries and psychos, alien plagues, vault hunters, and me of course. The greatest and most handsome man Pandora has ever seen. This story is a collaboration between y1fellas and OrphiusOlyandra.
1. Not even god could sink this ship

Remnant Lands

Chapter 01

Full of Opportunity

Wait, so you want me to tell you a story? Huh. Not the sort of request I usually get, you know? But, I suppose my old man always knew how to tell a good yarn. Or weave one. Whatever.

That's not to say I'm not the kind to tell tales, it's just usually they're the sort of tales that get me into or out of trouble, if you catch my drift. Alright, alright, so… Let's go back to the begining.

And I mean right to the beginning.

A long time ago mankind, and in a way the faunus, came from Origin, the birthplace of our species. Infested with Grimm, we fought our way free of-

What? Skip to the good part?

Fine. Kill the pacing and drama, you goddamn slaghead.

So there was this big ship, that had a lot of important people on it. And then it blew up. Then the people who were on it got really pissed off and blew a bunch of other stuff up.

The end.

...Oh, what's wrong? Didn't think that was a good story? That's 'cause you keep interrupting me, you jackhole!

Now, _I'm_ telling the story, just like _you _asked me to. Where was I?

Right. The ship exploded.

* * *

Weiss stared blankly out the portside window, some part of her wishing for an aspirin and the rest of her just wanting a bullet to the head. Okay, perhaps that was a little bit of an overreaction to the current circumstances, but it wasn't like she could run.

Oh, she'd like to run. Anything to escape another poorly told anecdote about that time her fiance totally killed a Grimm, that he swore was like, _totally this big!_ But that would be unbecoming of a Schnee, and Weiss held herself to a standard even higher than that. So, while she was trapped in the terribly romantic and atmospheric restaurant of the pride of the Atlas fleet, the SS Hindentanic, with it's immaculate table cloths, star strewn views of passing nebulae, and a remarkably talented set of musicians providing ambience, she could not take off her high heeled shoes and use them to gouge out her own ear drumbs.

But she sincerely wished she could.

Oh, his story was finished, _thank god. _Politely laughing, Weiss gave her fiance a blank smile. "Oh, if only the quality of that story matched that of its teller."

Jaune flashed her his driver's license worthy smile, and it was just such a shame she couldn't photoshop his face out of the frame. "Ah, mon chérie-" And just when she thought things couldn't get worse, he manages to butcher an entire language. "-it barely holds a candle to your beauty."

"Oh, what a way you have with words." She started pouring herself a little more wine than was strictly meant to be held in a glass that size. Then took a long drink. After which she reached to refill the glass, but he quickly jumped up to refill it for her. "Have you had some of the wine yet? Or the food?" _Just please put something in your face that will prevent you from speaking._

"Ah yes, my father specifically imported this from his personal stash on Strega IV where he single handed took on the barbarians in order to bring order to the land. As a show of-"

"How interesting, please have some." She plastered a smiled on as she pushed her glass towards him. "And when will the waiters be here? It feels like we've been waiting a while."

After a quick glance at his watch, Jaune sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I suppose I shall have to speak to them. Father did have a nice talk to them beforehand to ensure everything would be perfect, but since his departure they have gotten… slack."

"Oh, well don't let me keep you." Weiss reassured him with _complete sincerity_.

"As much as I hate to do this, but the work of a heir is never done." Another one of his puke worthy smiles. "I shall be right back with a meal fit for a queen."

"Don't rush on my account." She smiled brightly at the thought of him leaving..

"Sergeant Major, please stay here," he said as he rose from his seat with perfect form. If he was a child that was.

A redhaired bodyguard stepped forward. "Sir, I must pro-"

"Need I remind you I took down a Grimm on our last outing? I can handle myself." He said, sounding like going to the kitchen was actually some kind of dangerous task. He gestured at two random guards half forgotten in the corner. "You two, come with me."

Then Jaune tripped on his way to the kitchen, and Weiss gave what might have been her first genuine, though suppressed, laugh all night. Once he was gone she had to fight the urge to collapse into her seat while in sight of other guests. More wine was tempting, perhaps he would seem less utterly utterly pathetic if she was lightly, or heavily, buzzed. But no, that wasn't really an option because it simply would not do for the _Schnee heiress _to be seen getting plum drunk on her first meeting with her fiance.

And every time she remembered that that was what Jaune _was,_ all she could think was_, oh please, why?_

With a sigh, she put down her sorely tempting glass of wine and reached for her echo-scroll. According to the screen, the time was only 9:20 in Veil. Good grief, only twenty minutes had passed since this trainwreck that could be approximated to a date began.

Though that did raise a good question.

"Excuse me," she said, turning to Jaune's bodyguard. The somewhat amazonian protector had been standing in the periphery of her vision just a little way from their table. What was her name again? She hadn't been introduced. The woman was tall, and dressed mostly in hi-tec Hyperion Gold armour, but she had a mismatched red cape that was pinned to one shoulder by a red and copper brooch in the shape of some insignia Weiss didn't recognise, though it tickled her memory.

"Do you happen to know if Pandora operates on its own local time, or Cronovich standard?"

"Cronovich." Green eyes darted down to meet Weiss'. She continued in a pleasant sounding tone,"I had expected the Schnee security detail to have proper briefed you on Pandorian protocols. Then again, I assume a lady such as yourself has other, more important duties to perform."

Weiss blinked, unsure if that was a deliberate snub or not. She searched her eyes, looking for some sign of defiance, but after a moment, the woman looked away, seeming slightly abashed.

_Odd reaction._ Weiss smiled at her in a deliberately friendly way. "I'm sorry, you weren't introduced earlier, miss…?"

"_Sergeant Major_ Nikos, at your service." She brushed her cape to one side revealing a pauldron with three stripes across it.

That name sounded familiar again. Weiss frowned at the thought, glancing at the woman's brooch once more before it clicked. "Oh! That wouldn't be _Pyrrha _Nikos, would it?" She smiled happily having figured it out.

"Perhaps," she replied.

"You were on the team that opened the vault originally." Weiss said, trying to make conversation, and couldn't help but take stock of the woman again. This time she noticed the scars on the back of her hands, and the way she held herself, as if vaguely expecting the ground under her to burst open and spew a hoard of armed gunmen. "You used to work for my family."

"I did." Once more with that clipped tone.

Weiss sighed, guessing the woman just wasn't very talkative. Looking forward, she reached for her wine glass again, only to decide better and reach for the water jug instead. She glanced at Pyrrha again as she poured herself a glass. A flutter of jealousy writhed in her chest, and Weiss winced as she took a sip.

There was a lot to be jealous of. Pyrrha couldn't be much older than Weiss, and she already had a reputation any career mercenary would kill to have. Pyrrha had already led a life of high adventure and decided to settle down as a bodyguard, when Weiss had literally only just turned eighteen, and hadn't even had a taste of real combat yet. She'd been training for years to fight, and it still felt like excitement was as far away as it had been when she was twelve and learning to sing with her private tutors.

Sitting back in her chair, Weiss smiled at Pyrrha. "Is Pandora like they say it is?"

"It's worse." Her eyes flicked to the side and her hand drifted down to her hip, but after a brief second, her entire body relaxed again.

Weiss smiled just a little wider, showing a hint of teeth. If there was a place to escape from her daily upper class humdrum, Pandora sounded like that place to do it.

"I would advise against it, it's no place for a lady, let alone a Schnee."

Her eye twitched briefly before Weiss could stop it. With another sigh, she looked forward and leaned back in her chair. "That would be what I've heard about it." _And hence it's appeal. _Who was she kidding? They'd probably just keep her aboard a ship the entire time, and never even let her set foot on the planet.

"For good reason. A true warrior knows what is, and isn't, within reach." Pyrrha raised a hand and gestured towards one of the guards. "Please check on the young master and his guards, he should be back by now."

As she said this, two more of the guards peeled off from the small army that sat at every table near theirs, and headed off to the kitchen.

"And I suppose a _true warrior_ would have a few interesting stories to tell while a _lady's _date managed to get lost on his way to the kitchen." Weiss prodded.

"Do you truly think the battlefield is a place for stories?"

Weiss gave her an annoyed look. "No, but I think _here _is."

For a brief second, it looked as though Pyrrha would outright refuse, but she slowly unclenched her hand and turned to a guard. "You, Davis, why don't you entertain our guest with a story?" With one last thinly veiled glare at Weiss, Pyrrha walked towards the kitchen.

'Davis' started to tell a story before Weiss stopped him. "Have _you _opened a vault?"

"Uh, no ma'am."

"Then why would I care about your story?" Weiss grouched, pouring herself another glass of water. With a sniff, she went for a sip when she heard something that sounded like… a gunshot?

She wasn't the only one that heard it. All around the restaurant other patrons were looking about, wondering if that was _really_ what they'd just heard.

A second later, everyone realised that was exactly what that sound had been, when from just down the hall rang out the sound of sustained automatic fire. Jaune's small army of guards immediately sprang into action, and all around her Weiss could hear the potent clicking of bullets being loaded into chambers. The majority of them moved to the doors, covering the hallways leading the the restaurants while some of them set about tipping over tables for cover, and a pair ran off to find Pyrrha and Jaune after neither of them could be reached over radio.

Weiss was surrounded by four of her company's own guards, one of whom grabbed her arm and started to drag her towards the exit. "Come with us, please," they said, not really asking.

Snatching her arm free of their grip, Weiss scowled. "I'm going, don't drag me around like a chi-"

And then she wasn't talking to a soldier of the Crimson Lance, but a headless torso. There wasn't even a bang when it happened. No one had even heard a gunshot, but as they all heard the sound of hissing air, everyone realised why. Turning around, Weiss saw a bullet hole in the window, and just outside it in a full coverage space suit, was the shape of a man carrying a sniper rifle.

"Warning, warning, air breech detec-" Whatever else was being said was lost as gunfire rang out in all directions.

A guard immediately pushed her head down, all but tackling her to the floor while another guard flipped over their table, using it as makeshift barrier. A bullet burst through the table, sending splinters through Weiss's hair and making her flinch.

From across the restaurant, a loud, almost animalistic cry went up as the hyperion guards who'd been at the door were assaulted from the front. Shot gun blasts and automatic fire streamed up the hallway, and they guards returned the favor with their submachine guns and grenades. But it was a losing situation, even as they kept the hordes of mysterious attackers at bay, the sniper outside the window, who was soon joined by several friends, was free to pick off whomever they pleased. There was no way anyone inside could return fire, for fear of shattering the window and depressurizing the room and killing all the defenders.

Weiss peaked over her cover at the soldiers at the window, and her eyes widened as she saw one of their attackers start to load a rocket launcher. Knowing that she had literal seconds before the team outside killed them all, she bolted. Taking only the time to kicking off her high heels before sprinting for the exit bare foot, Weiss ignored her guard's cry of, "Get back in cover!"

The Hyperion guards in front of her didn't even look back as she scrambled up behind and past them.

"Get to the exit!" She screamed, trying to sound authoritative rather than hysterical.

A few of them instinctively followed her, and she and three others only just threw themselves out of the restaurant in time for the glass window to shatter. With an ear popping change in air pressure, all the oxygen in the room soundlessly _whooshed _out into the vacuum of space, along with tables, chairs, food, screaming guests and equally screamy guards.

Weiss only just slapped the button on the door's outer control panel in time for it to slam down and close off the depressurisation that would have killed her. The Hyperion guard to her left, looked up and threw himself in front of Weiss, just as a burst of gunfire pierced his chest. He slumped backwards, pushing her against the wall even as his weight dragged her to the ground. The two other guards raised their submachine guns, and opened fire, but without any cover it was a futile effort and were both killed by the responding barking chatter of what sounded like an Atlas assault rifle.

Unclipping the pistol off the hip of the soldier that had fallen over her, Weiss looked over the dead man's shoulder in time to see a someone running towards her. She only just had enough time to tuck the gun under an armpit, before the stranger grabbed one of her arms and dragged her out from under the body. She twisted as he did, angling her body so that it covered up the gun.

The man was tall, with biceps that stuck out even through the rugged, scrappy armour he wore. His eyes had a faint yellow glow to them, and the blood veins in them were black rather than red. He wasn't wearing a helmet, but he did have a pair of protective anti-flash goggles on his forehead that looked like they came from a welding mask.

He stared at her for a moment, before twisting around so she was facing the rest of her attackers. "This the Schnee?" He said in an oddly inflectionless voice, so it sounded more like a statement than question.

"Yes." One of her companions replied. "Kill it."

Weiss let go of the gun with her elbow, and let it fall into her free hand. She caught it awkwardly in her hand, and was forced to work the trigger with her thumb, as she put two bullets in the man's thigh. Twisting as he collapsed downwards, she put his body between him and his friends. Seeing that he was still alive, they hesitated to shoot, which gave her enough time to correct her grip on the gun in her hand, and press it to the man's temple.

"Drop your weapons, or I'll kill him!"

They stared at her for only a second, before raising their guns and opening fire anywar. Clinging to the man in front of her as a jerking, bleeding, and dying shield, she returned fire as best as she could. She hit one of the men in front of her, leaving a perfect hole in his forehead before her wild fire forced the remaining three to rush for cover in some doorways just down the hall.

When the pistol ran out, Weiss snatched up her dead hostage's Atlas assault rifle and opened fire as she crouched behind his slumped over corpse. There was a brief lull in her fire when she took a grenade of his belt, and tossed it up the hallways to where they were hiding. Only one of them was actually caught in the blast, as the other two saw the grenade and charged out of cover, firing at her from the hip as they did.

Weiss cut down one of them, before the last one crossed the last few metres to her, and kicked his thick combat boot towards her head. She ducked out of the way, and twisted to the right to avoid the butt of his rifle as it banged against the wall beside her. Seeing a grenade on his belt, she reached down and yanked the pin out of it, before bolting away from him. She was grateful he was using a Hyperion submachine gun as the first few shot he sent after her missed, but it's stabilisers kicked in and she took a bullet through the calf before he exploded in a shower that painted the hallway in blood and shrapnel holes.

Falling forward unto her face, Weiss's breath stuttered in her lungs as she let out a hissed gasp of pain. The blood drained from her face as she rolled over and examined the wound.

"This has to be the worst date I've ever been on." She muttered to herself and tried to stand up. Putting all her weight on one leg helped, but as she hopped one step down the corridor, the pain from jostling her wound was so intense that she stumbled and fell forwards onto her face again. "_Anyone's_ ever been on." She corrected after a moment.

* * *

"I told you! Didn't I tell you not to trust Bandit brand weaponry? Yes they're crazy looking and sure, they technically function as well as any other brand, but they break. Often. Just look at it!" Ruby held out what was once a rifle, thinly held together by some duct tape. "What in the world convinced you this was a good idea?"

"Come on," Yang rolled her eyes. "I spent like, ten bucks on it Ruby, not like it cost us anything. Pretty sure the bullet's in the magazine cost more than it did."

"That's not that point! Just, ugh. I swear, if you had just let me build you something from scrap, it'd handle like nothing you've ever experien- No. Waaaaaaay~" With a squeal, Ruby ran across the bridge, easily weaving through the thick crowd. "Are you seeing this? It's out, it's finally out. Brand new, straight off the production line, Atlas quality assault rifle! Made by Schnee, sure, but Atlas! And it uses the new eridium-tech for the pulprosion mechanism as well. Yang… I think I'm in love."

"I ain't in love with that price tag," Yang scowled as she examined it. "We might be able to afford it if we mortgaged Dad's house, and his car... and him."

"Do it!" Ruby dragged Yang down to look her straight in the eyes. "I'll even offer them my first born. They still do that right? Right?"

Yang snorted. "What happened to building your own gun from scrap?"

"Hey!" With practised ease, Ruby drew a sniper rifle off her back, caressing the barrel and the scope. "Don't talk about Karl like that! He's very sensitive."

"I'll make it up to him later." Yang promised, looking over the guns on sale herself. "I thought we were here to get a replacement for _me_."

"Eh, just get more duct tape, we need to save money for that beauty," said Ruby, pressing her face agaisnt the glass. "Don't worry Karl, I still love you, but damn…"

Yang yawned into her hand, before picking out a compact Hyperion shotgun. "I like the way this looks, I want a gun with a smaller spray than that last one."

"Nope." Plucking it from her hand, Ruby tossed her a Jackobs one. "Try this one, Hyperion guns have some insane kick to them before the counter stabilizer kicks in."

"I can live with a little kick." Yang complained, flipping open the breach on the Jackobs and giving it an inspection. Her face took on a surprised look. "Huh, good eye."

"Told ya. Best thing is, it's the deal of day! Thank you Marcus, another three hundred saved which should save us some cash for new armor."

Yang shrugged after a moment. "Works for me, then." She posed with it. "How do I look?"

"Actually…" Ruby stepped back, taking in the brown leather duster filled with holes, the yellow tank top that had a couple of holes revealing the makeshift armor created from Hyperion scraps underneath that thankfully, only had one hole in it. Toss on an actual gun and… "You... actually look like a Vault Hunter."

"Um… Ladies, you paying for the gun or just posing?" asked the shopkeeper.

"This the problem with gun stores." Yang said aloud to Ruby. "They just don't get that sometimes a gal wants to go _shopping, _you know?"

"A pretty bad Vault Hunter with all those holes, but still a Vault Hunter. Hey, Mister! Think we can pose with the new Atlas rifle?"

"Sure you can missy, and while you're at it, we've got pink purses over there and some absolutely faaaaaaaabulous looking dresses that'd go perfectly with that cute little hood of yours." He gave both of them a flat look. "This is a gun shop, not some dress shop. Are you buying something or not?"

WIth a roll of her eyes, Yang approached the counter and put the gun down on it. "We'll just take this."

A soft beep rang out as he scanned the price tag. "That'll be five hundred bucks and would you like it gift wrapped?"

"No thanks," Yang replied as she took out her wallet and counted five $100 bills.

"Actually… can you spray paint things on the side of guns? I'm building this killer sniper and I think some flames along the barrel would be awesome."

Cue facepalm from the shopkeeper.

"Yang, I think he was being sarcastic about the gift wrapping," whispered Ruby.

"You're kind of a dick, aren't you?" Yang smiled at him as she holstered her shiny new shotgun.

"Welcome to Pandora," he said, not a smile in sight.

"Been there, the service is better," said Ruby as they walked out before skipping back as they were almost run over by a the crowd. The entire place looked and felt more like a concert than space station with the way bodies were packed together. "See Yang, this is why we should have come here sooner and why you need to stop destroying all the alarm clocks I buy you."

"If they didn't want to get hit, they shouldn't scream at me when I'm trying to sleep."

"I swear, I'm going to build an alarm clock that shoots at you. I'll do it!" Jumping onto the nearby railing, Ruby looked out over the suspended walkways, trying to find a path for them to go through before a grin appeared. "Say, Yang, any rules on this dump about free falling?"

"Can't say for certain, but I'd bet so." Yang shrugged. "Knowing Hyperion, they're probably something along the lines of, 'If you film it, you have to share it with us.'"

"Hm…" Ruby glanced up then down. They were on the fifth floor, the elevators to their right was completely packed and on the left was just a massive window looking out into space. A massive _curved_ window with a very gentle slope, but how to get over there?

Despite the walkways being large enough for a freight train to run through, the milling mass of bodies covered every inch and in that mass were other vault hunters and hyperion exec's and while the idea of shooting one of those snobbish idiots in the face sent a thrill down Ruby's spine, they were also hyperion exec's. Best not to accidentally bump into one of them.

Could climb the pipes up, but going down was so much more fun. A little bit of a running jump, move along the wall, drop down onto the rundown bookshop sign on floor four just to the right of them, then a simple leap onto the window, slide down to floor three, leap across, grab the railing under the walkway, swing over the mass of idiots on the walkway below than and voila, right next to the armor shop…

Which was next to the lingerie shop. Then again, the gun store was neighbours with the church of who-fucking-cares and the pet store.

"Yo Yang, wanna go on an adventure?"

"What, did you find religion?" Yang asked, eyeing the church askance.

"Only if it lets me marry Karl. And Kevin."

"I know the people of the hawk let you marry a weapon, but only if it's a fire gun."

"Tempting, tempting, but two is more than enough for me. Plus, Karl's been so nice and understanding, I couldn't hurt him anymore by adding _another_ gun to my heart, then again…" Ruby pulled out her sniper, narrowing missing Yang in the process and looking at it curiously. "Karl, darling, you know I love you and think you're great as is, but what do you think about shooting incendiary rounds?"

"He's always been open minded." Yang mused.

"I suppose- Sorry!- So and he used to be a corrosive gun before I converted it to electric. Bloody stalkers, why did we go to that mine again?" Ruby frowned as she dodged yet another 'I'm so important' hyperion worker.

"Because we were getting paid by some guy to gather something or other so he could… do a thing?" She shrugged. "All I know is he paid us $525 each, and those stalker had that bit under their throats that went pop when I shot them."

"Don't remind me, it smelt like something that was half way through decompo-" A soft banging sound echoed through the main chamber. "Do you hear that?"

"Sounds like trouble." A grin spread over Yang's face and she put a hand to her shotgun.

Without warning, red lights began flashing and a mechnical voice started blaring over the speakers. "Warning, warning, air breech detected, please stay calm and-" There was a screech and suddenly Handsome Jack's voice came through, "LOOT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT! And guess what boys and girls, only ten escape pods on each floor, that means half of you are gonna go pop like corn. And the camera's I've all over the damn ship will record it happening, so hey at least your loved one will get to see daddy's eyeballs explode. Anyways, for real though, there's only ten escape pods per floor because those assholes in RnD told me this ship was unsinkable. So, have fun with that!"

And then soft classical music filled the air.

"Huh." Yang mused as she raised her shotgun. "Who would've guessed the Hindentanic could sink?

All around them, people were scream, guns were firing and blood was being sprayed everywhere. Acting on pure instinct, Ruby twisted to the side, just managing to dodge a punch from the burly guy next to her before swinging her sniper from off her back and smacking him across the face, knocking him out cold.

"Marvel of engineering my ass," muttered Ruby. "Well, time to jump! Come on!"

Racing forward, Ruby leapt off the edge of the walkway, and without even pausing to think or look at where they were going, Yang followed. Not before getting two quick shots of her new shotgun off, blowing a hole in the some guy's chest.

"Man, I thought we'd have to wait until we got to Pandora!" Yang shouted happily.

* * *

Weiss limped, looking ridiculous in oversized combat boots, an evening dress, and carrying a Vladoff assault rifle that was slightly too large for her. One of the soldiers she'd killed must have been a medic or something, because he'd carried a first aid pack with some bandages, disinfectant and painkillers. Plus, he'd had small feet. His boots were still a bit too big for her, but it was better than walking around barefoot.

The medicine had helped her get to her feet, but walking still hurt quite a lot. Wincing as she had to put a little too much weight on her wounded leg, Weiss peaked around a corner and sighed in relief when she found the hallway empty. She stepped around the corner and moved forward to the door. She hit the control panel, and it whooshed open, revealing-

"Oh, would you look at that?" Weiss huffed. "More corpses!"

This was the third room she'd found in such a state, the floor sparsely visible beneath the pools of blood, gibbets of flesh, and mixed corpses. The Hyperion gold that covered the walls wasn't spared either, browning haemoglobin had been liberally applied to them as well. Weiss honestly found it only moderately less tasteful than Jack's usual preference for ostentatiousness.

And of course, as was the way of things, anything that could have been remotely useful had been pillaged. Not a single gun, dollar or bullet had been left behind. The invaders had even evidently stolen from their own dead, because apparently they were equal opportunity looters.

Weiss wasted no time searching the room for a gun better suited to her, or even a change of clothes that would be mildly more appropriate than what she had.

Quickly, she made her way across the room not even pausing when something squished wetly underneath her heel. She grimaced. _Don't look down, don't look down. Whatever I just stepped on, or in, I don't want to know._

She got to the door on the other side of the room, and winced at the sticky control panel. _Note to self: Always keep a personal supply of wet wipes._

The door slid into its frame, and Weiss found herself faced with a group of invaders, standing knee deep in another charnel house. They stared at her awkwardly, as if caught doing something they shouldn't have been. One of them was literally prying the gold teeth out of one of his own fallen comrades using a bayonet that was still attached to his Dahl submachine gun.

He died first, as Weiss dropped to one knee and opened fire. She kept up a steady stream of automatic fire, managing to cut down three of the seven goons before any of them got to cover. The moment the first one got their head down, Weiss stopped shooting and ducked back around the door frame, reloading the rifle as she did.

_You know, maybe I underestimated the worth of these Vladoff's._ Standing up, she leaned out of cover and unleashed barking, bucking, shoulder bruising, burst of automatic fire, the completely cut apart the table one of her targets was hiding behind and him with it. _There's something to be said for just how useful a good rate of fire is. _She'd have to send a note down to Atlas RnD next chance she got.

A shotgun blast came through the doorway, just as Weiss ducked back to avoid it. She waited for the next shot before she opened fire again, only there was no next shot. Silence reigned, and it was only broken by the sound of... gurgling?

Peaking around, Weiss was shocked to see one of the invaders clutching at his neck as the gun he was holding tumbled out of his hands. Someone was standing behind him, wrapping a cord around his throat. He kicked and flailed, trying to dislodge his assailant, but it didn't help him.

After a few more moments, his struggling ceased and he tipped forward limply. Rising up from behind his conscious form was a woman, dressed in scrappy leggings and a discoloured white shirt. Strapped over it was an armoured vest, and she had armoured pads on her knees, shins and elbows. At her side was what looked like a Dahl pistol. She had several grenades, and her face was hidden by a balaclava tied around her mouth and black glasses covering her eyes.

"Weiss Schnee?" She asked, unwrapping the strangle cord from her hands.

"Yes?" Weiss frowned, raising her rifle so it pointed at the woman.

"Would you be willing to come with me?" The woman inquired, sounding like she was asking about the weather.

Weiss considered before answering. "That depends on where we're going, and who you work for?"

"We will be going to an escape pod. I do not wish to say who I work for."

"In that case thanks, but no thanks." Then Weiss squeezed the trigger.

Her bullets found their mark, passing through the woman seemingly without resistance. Weiss's eyes widened as she realised she'd been conversing with a hologram, and a faded blur of lines shimmered through the air towards her. Weiss shifted her aim, firing towards it but wasn't quite fast enough. Something battered her rifle barrel aside, and another something smacked into her wounded knee.

With a yelp, Weiss fell and the woman twisted with her as she did. Weiss found herself, face down on the floor with her arms pinned behind her back, and her rifle clattering out of reach. Handcuffs clicked into place around her wrists, and before she could even scream a gag was shoved into her mouth. A gag that she realised was a sweaty handkerchief, that someone mustn't have washed in a while if the taste was any indication.

Then another pair of cuffs was tightened around her ankles, and Weiss could only give a muffled scream of frustration as her arms were bound to her sides by a tight cord.

* * *

Ruby edged down the corridor, lights flickering above, the sound of her footsteps echoing back to her. The Dahl pistol in her hands was still slick with fresh blood making wielding it awkward, but still better than Karl. Behind her, Yang followed with shotgun drawn, already running low on ammo, but that'd never stopped her in the past.

The young hadn't been spared. Mothers, fathers, pregnant ladies and Hyperion exec's had all been shot, stabbed and in the latter's case, spat on. And pissed on. And set on fire. Hm… Ruby fingered Karl, before shaking her head and moving past the headless body on the ground. Sloshing through the blood, they followed the trail of bloody footprints around the corner only to come face to face with a caved in roof, blocking their way forward.

No words were exchanged, not even a some hand gestures or grunts. Yang immediately took the lead, moving up carefully while Ruby covered her back. Once more the lights flickered off and two golden eyes stared back at her from down the corridor.

"Yang?" hissed Ruby as she raised her pistol, "We've got trouble."

An explosion rocked the ship, too far away to deafen them, but close enough to cause them to lose their footing. Acting on pure instinct, Ruby ducked to the side incase whatever it was decided to jump before quickly aiming once more, only to meet inky blackness. A second later, the emergency lights kicked on, bathing the entire corridor in a dull red glow.

"Nevermind, it's gone… whatever it was."

"Just keep a look out," Yang replied distractedly, as she started throwing aside some of the thinner rubble near the top of the pile. "I think we could crawl through here."

"Alright, coming up." With one last glance behind her, Ruby began clambering up the pile of rubble before wincing at how small the hole was. "I'll fit, but I don't think you will."

"Shit, I think you're right." Yang growled, glancing down at herself. "I'll have to take off my armour."

"Alright, you go first then." Exchanging the pistol for Karl, Ruby set up in the dark corner of where the rubble met the roof.

Quickly, Yang shrugged off her coat, before stripping away her pauldrons and armoured plating. When she was wearing only her undershirt and pants, she grabbed up the Dahl pistol and climbed back up the rubble. "Don't come through till I say it's clear." Then she disappeared into the small tunnel, pistol leading the way.

Through the grunts and swearing coming from behind her, Ruby could just make out the sounds of renewed gunfire off in the distance. It lasted for a split second then silence descended once more. Motion out the corner of her eye drew her attention and her sniper immediately snapped across, finger on the trigger. As the seconds ticked by, she took a long, slow breath and eased her finger off the trigger before going back to scanning the room.

Damn flashing lights making her see things.

Just as she was about to call out to Yang, the sound of approaching footsteps cut her off. Whoever it was, they were inexperienced, the scruffing of the footsteps gave that much away as they dragged their heels across the ground. Next came the shadows around the corner and Ruby raised her sniper, aiming at where the torso would be and as soon as whoever it was turned the corner, she squeezed the trigger. The electrical current froze the person for a split second, not that it mattered since it cut through the chest without meeting any resistance.

All that could be heard was the echo of a dead body hitting the ground.

"Yang, you through yet?" whispered Ruby.

There was no answer.

"Damn it, if I die covering your fat ass, I'm haunting you for the rest of your life."

A few moments later, a voice called up the tunnel behind her. "It's all good Ruby, come on through!"

"About time!" Grabbing Yang's shotgun along with her coat and armor, before hesitating and throwing Karl down and diving in. Pipes and rent metal cut all along her legs and arms, easily slicing through her thin coat and drawing blood. The dust made her eyes water and when she came out the other end, she fell head first onto the cold floor. She just laying there, a hacking cough wracking her body before rolled over onto her back and rubbing her eyes.

"You alright?" Yang asked. Just over her shoulder was a man who looked like his head had been caved in. "Found that guy like this, so I thought I should make sure who ever did it wasn't around before calling you through."

"Good idea." Rubbing the dust from her eyes, Ruby passed the shotgun and armor over before picking up Karl. "Sorry babe, but it had to be done, I promise to get you a fresh coat of paint once we've got the money."

"You know, if you can't find a religion that'll let you marry it, I'm sure you can just start one." Yang muttered as she started to put her armour on. "Could call it the First Church of Karl or whatever."

"Nah, First Church of the Mechromancer sounds so much better. Now come on, we need to find that security room and see if there are any escape pods left."

Yang pulled the coat over her shoulders, and grabbed her shotgun and giving it a brief once over. "Alright, let's go."

They passed another three bodies, two with their faces caved in and one unfortunate soul who had both legs broken and a pipe shoved through her stomach. That one managed to crawl a good three meters before finally dying. Eventually though, they came to a door marked 'Security' and with practised ease, they stood on either side. A look was exchanged then a nod before Ruby turned and kicked the door down while Yang dived past, shotgun at the ready.

"You know, I kinda wanna meet the guy who keeps doing this." Yang muttered when she was greeted by more brutalized bodies. One's neck had been twisted all the way around, and another was folded like the universe's most brutal origami.

"Yeah, yeah," said Ruby as she brushed past, placing both hands on the snooker sized table that dominated the middle of the room. A red warning sign popped up in 3D glory, flashing in front of her face. "Hey, grab me one of their hands, it's a biometric lock."

Yang picked up an arm that had been twisted out of its socket. Her eyes were shining as she said, "Need a _hand _dis_arm_ing the lock?"

"I… don't know whether to groan or yell at you. I meant drag a dead body here, not rip an arm out! Ugh, whatever." Grabbing the offered arm, she pressed the hand onto the board and a soft beep was heard before a real time schematic of the entire ship appeared.

In the central mall of the ship, the fourth floor major walkway had collapsed, taking the third floor walkway with it and destroying enough of the second floor that only the truly desperate would try that route. The fancy-smancy restaurant on the top floor was completely locked down, looking as though someone forgot to put the glass in entirely. Red bars were everywhere as breeches and fires were were contained by airlocks and on the main display screen behind the projection was the security camera of the spacedocks. Bodies were everywhere, only two spaceships remained and two groups were hunkered down on either side. Neither side fired a shot, but both sides held guns, just waiting for the other to make the wrong move.

With a flick of the hand, Ruby pulled up the main menu and highlighted all the escape pods before drawing up the security camera footage in each area. The main screen on the opposite wall lit up, three of the cameras completely offline, but the remaining seven showed some promise. Floor four was completely empty as was floor three, but the west end second floor at four escape pods left. That would be the best be-

"Damn it!" Ruby's fist hit the console as she stared at the closed airlock in front of the escape pods and the massive gaping hole in the wall where it looked as though an escape pod had been ripped free.

"We'll just have to hijack one of those ships in the dock, then." Yang put her hand on Ruby's shoulder.

"We're good, but not that good," said Ruby.

"Well, it's either that or make our way to the Starboard side of the ship and see if any of the pods there are left."

"Yeah, if only there was… some…" Ruby stared past Yang at the space suits that hung behind the glass door. "Or we could go space walking!"

Yang blinked, and looked at the suits consideringly. "I've never done that before…"

"Don't worry, I hear it's simple. Keep the magnetic boots on, don't jump too high and don't shoot yourself." Ruby grabbed the severed arm and pressed it up against the scanner, letting the door slide open and the rack pop out, all the suits present except two. "Come on!"

"I'd kinda rather just kill those guys at the spaceship." Yang grumbled, but started to climb into one of the suits anyway.

"If you could, you'd kill the sun," replied Ruby as she grabbed the smallest suit present.

Yang just grinned savagely at that, but didn't reply.

"Please don't, I like the sun." Zipping up the suit, Ruby tried looked down at herself. "Is everyone working here giants? I can't even see through this stupid helmet."

"No, I just think no one working here is fourteen years old." Yang answered as she did up the seals on her helmet.

"Same thing. Now whe-" Face meet ground. "Ooooow… Stupid massive things."

Ruby rolled around on the ground, trying to get back onto her feet, but no matter how she twisted or turned, she couldn't even sit up.

"Um… Yang? Help?"

"How about I lead the way?" Yang suggested as she helped Ruby up.

"Good idea." This time, she managed to not fall flat on her face when she took a step forward and began shuffling into the airlock. "Just hit the big, red, shiny button and let's get this show on the road."

Yang cocked back her fist and punched the button, yelling, "Button!"

The air whooshed out and the suits poofed out, preventing Ruby from reaching the gloves or boots with how short she was. All sounds faded away with with awkward swimming motions, she began drifting out into space.

"Don't think about farting." Yang's voice came over the com.

"I didn't need to hear that!" Ruby reached out and grabbed onto the the railing on the side of hull and began dragging herself along. "Come on, I think it's this way!"

"I'm just saying, if you did let one rip right now, you'll be breathing it until we get there. And of course, if you did start thinking about it you'd start feeling like you really needed to do it."

"Stop talking about it then, you're making me think about it!"

"I'm not talking about it, I'm just saying it'd be horrible if it happened. It'd be like getting locked in an outhouse or something."

"Lalalalalalalala, not listening." Ruby began speeding up her hand motions.

"Now you're just being immature." Yang sounded amused.

"I'm the immature one? Me? You're the one who started it!"

"Started what?" Yang chuckled. "You were the one thinking about farts even though I warned you not to."

"Not listening, not listening, not listening, not listening, not listening." Think about… think about mechanical wolves and Karl and-

"Ppppppppht." Yang blew a raspberry over the com.

"Come on, there must be a way to turn off the coms on this thing…"

"Alright, I'll stop." Yang laughed. "Just trying to lighten the mood."

With a grumble from Ruby, they kept moving, glancing down through the windows every so often. More than once they caught sight of a family huddled together in some corner, sometimes dead and there was more than one lone survivor, staring out blankly into space. No bulletholes, no blood, just… still.

"Can we go back to talking about farts?" whispered Ruby in a small voice.

"Don't worry, we're almost there." Yang reassured her.

"Yeah…" As they made their way across the curve of the space station, Pandora came into view, all blue and green and small. In the past, such views would get a small sniffle out of Ruby, but this time, it was somewhat ruined by the dozen or so bodies floating before them.

"Usually it doesn't look so bad from a distance." Yang muttered.

"Come on, the breech is here," said Ruby as she dragged herself in.

Yang followed behind her without comment.

With a loud clank, their boats stuck themselves to the wall and with a lot of awkwardness from Ruby, they began making their way to the ground. Swearing under her breath, Ruby turned off the magnets and began swimming awkwardly through the air towards the nearest escape pod. A quick look inside revealed everything was in perfect working condition, the release mechanism slightly misaligned, but not enough to endanger everything. Hopefully. Maybe.

It's not like she was an engineer or anything.

"Yo, Yang, how do the others look?"

"Uh… I think this might have been an escape pod once." Yang replied. "Now it's kind of just half a pod, and not really the escape half."

Ruby drifted over to the last one and glanced in before wincing at the body pinned to the console by a crowbar. "Yeeeeeaaaaaah, this one is fucked too. Whelp, here's to hoping this doesn't kill us."

"It can't be that bad," Yang tried to smile but looked nervous herself. She tried to open the door but it stuck, so with a grunt she gave it a more firm yank and pulled it open with an almost metal on metal screech. "I mean, it's Hyperion tec." She finished somewhat sarcastically.

"And we all know that's the best quality stuff around, right?"

They both jumped when a very calm voice behind them said, "Actually, Hyperion technology is considered to have the worst safety rating of all the mega corporations. Considering the fact that Torgue once built a mechanism into it's rovers that made it explode if it fell more than three feet, that is saying something remarkable."

Both spun around, guns awkwardly floating around as Ruby tried to swing her sniper rifle around to point it at the new comer, completely forgetting about the spacesuit she had on. It was impossible to tell who was talking to them, not with the way the sun bounced off her visor, obscuring their sight, but what was obvious was the body slung over her shoulder. A body that seemed to be struggling.

The newcomer waved a hand towards the escape pods. "I believe these pods can seat up to ten individuals. Would you be opposed to sharing?"

"That depends on who you are and who you're kidnapping," said Ruby.

"My name is Blake," the woman answered placidly. "And this isn't a kidnapping."

"Yang, we've kidnapped people before right?"

"Yeah, and it looks a lot like that."

"So yeah, kidnapping." Ruby shrugged. "Look, just want to know we're not going to have, say, the entire might of Hyperion dropping down on us is all."

The woman paused. "That seems like an unlikely consequence of sharing an escape pod with us."

"Well…" Ruby glanced up at the security camera.

"Also, if you were unwilling to share the pod then I would be forced to attempt to take it by force." Blake continued. "It is not my intention to do so, but survival is my first priority."

"You think you can take us?" Yang challenged.

The woman stared at them for a few moments. "Perhaps not, but even so I will be forced to try. I feel that simply sharing the pod will be simpler and less risky for all of us."

"Not like we have a choice," said Ruby. "All it takes is one stray bullet to pierce these suits and we're dead."

Yang huffed in annoyance. "Just tell us who that is on your shoulder."

The kidnapped girl let out a muffled scream of frustration.

Blake glanced at her, before answering, "Her name is Yuki Shiroe."

Yang sighed. "Ruby? Your call."

"Good enough for me! Onwards my faithful companions, to victory!"

Blake looked at Ruby, tilting her head to the side as if in confused. After a moment, she decided it wasn't worth it to comment and walked into the pod behind them. Once everyone was in, Ruby closed the hatch and immediately their suits decompressed and with a sigh, Ruby removed her helmet. Quickly wiggling out of it, she straightened out her dress before hugging Karl tight, nuzzling the barrel.

Half a second of hesitation, Yang followed suit and then the mystery lady with the hostage, letting Ruby get the first good look at her. She calmly strapped her victim into one of the pd's chairs, ignoring her squirming, and muffled screams. She had black hair, and was wearing an armoured vest over a long sleeved shirt that looked like it might have been white once upon a time. She had pads on her knees, elbows and shins. Her face was completely covered by a balaclava tied around her mouth, and black sunglasses that covered her eyes.

"Hi! I'm Ruby." She held out her hand.

The woman looked at the hand for a moment, then looked up at Ruby. "I introduced myself just a few moments ago. Have you forgotten?"

"And now I'm introducing myself. Plus, was that even your real name? Doesn't sound very… kidnappery, yo-"

"Ruby, this button is staring at me, so you and your friend better take a seat." Yang cut across her, staring at the red lit launch button on the console in front of her. She'd taken the pilot's seat, and had already put the soundproof headset on, adjusting the mike in front of her mouth.

"Yang…" Swallowing nervously, Ruby buckled herself in. "Please don't blow us up like last time."

Across from her Blake followed suit, and the kidnapped girl whose face was still hidden underneath a bulky space suit had stopped struggling.

Yang didn't hear her though, and just grinned wildly. "We're launching in ten, nine, eight-" Then she pushed the button.

Silence.

"Yang, did y-"

The entire shuttle dropped down, lurching and tilting to the side as the metal structure around them groaned in protest. The engine kicked on, throwing them towards the back to the shuttle, buckle digging into their skin as the whole thing tried to spin around the mechanical arm that was holding them in place.

"Sorry folks!" Yang's voice cheerfully rang out over the intercom. "Forgot to disengage the the bay side lock!"

The kidnap victim made a noise that sounded distinctly like someone throwing up around a gag and inside a sealed helmet.

Blake just looked straight at Ruby. "Are you sure she's qualified to pilot an escape pod?"

"No fu-" The baseball shaped ship flung out of the dock at high speed, spinning around faster than anything had a right to. Ruby could feel her stomach threatening to rebel, lunch already resurfacing and bubbling at the base of her throat, and as much as she loved that tuna sandwich, she didn't want to taste it twice.

The glasses had flown straight off of Blakes face and smashed to pieces on the wall of the escape pod. Her eyes were clenched shut, and she seemed to be concentrated on her breathing.

Across from her, vomit suddenly exploded against the faceplate of the kidnapee's helmet.

"Eeeewwww-" Before Ruby could even finish that, she threw her hands against her lips, trying to not throw up herself as her stomach gave a sudden lurch. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to ignore the spinning and wished that she was back on Pandora, blowing the head off of some psycho.

"Has the world stopped spinning yet?" whispered Ruby.

"Again, sorry!" Yang called out. "The leftmost directional thruster was stuck on! The good news is I stopped it. The bad news is it's controls are fucked, so we won't be able to turn right anymore."

"Do we need to turn right?" Ruby glanced over at the kidnap victim. "And we should probably remove her helmet… But look on the brightside, at least she didn't fart. Right? Ha… ha…?"

Blake opened her eyes and glanced at her. "Flatulence wouldn't be an issue in one of those suits. The air surrounding the lower body is separate to the air feed going to the helmet. Anything up to and including defecation would not affect your the quality of your air supply."

Apparently the vomit had dislodged the gag out of whoever had been in the suit's mouth. "Take this helmet off!" Whoever was inside all but screamed. "Just get it off!"

"It would be unsafe to stand until we enter atmosphere." Blake answered from where she was seated. "Especially with the level of skill displayed by our pilot."

"I swear, if you don't take this helmet off right this second, I'll..." There was a pause. "...I'm not really in a position to threaten right now, but even so I will make you regret it!"

Blake looked ahead again, not even answering.

"As my kidnapper you have a responsibility to ensure my well being!"

"This is not a kidnapping." Was Blake's only reply.

"Look like a kidnapping to me. I mean, only done it once or twice, alright twice. Fine, fine, four times, geez stop looking at me like that, but this definitely looks like a kidnapping. Pretty respectable one at that." Pause. "Wait a second, were you the one who blew up the Hindentanic!?"

"Yes. And I repeat, I am not kidnapping her." Blake replied, and looked over at her not-victim. "Please bear with it until I am able to safely stand and remove the helmet."

"I swear, the moment I get free I'm going to… going to…" She trailed off.

"See? Kidnapped. Yo, Yang!" Ruby blinked and sighed. "She can't hear me, can she? But she'd totally back me up on this."

Blake just sighed, and leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes.

"Hellooooo~" Ruby waved a hand before Blake's face. "Come on, don't ignore me, you can't win."

No response.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

Still nothing.

"So." Ruby turned to the victim. "Since you're no longer gagged, what's your name. I'm Ruby and the pilot is Yang!"

The vomit stained helmet turned to face her. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know if you take this damn thing off me."

"It's a deal."

"Oh thank goodness." The girl slumped in her chair. "Do you have any water? Or wet wipes? Something to clean my face and hair?"

"Nope! So your name, can't be nice kidnappers if we don't know your name."

"Helmet. First." Was the only answer.

Ruby glanced over at Yang. Everything seemed stable, and Yang was just relaxing in her seat so it should be safe. Right? With a shrug, Ruby unbuckled herself and moved towards the victim. Moving quickly, but tentatively, she reached around, fumbling a bit from the awkward angle before managing to find the clip. There was a soft beep followed by a hiss then the helmet popped off without any resistance.

And then the smell filled the air and Ruby wished she hadn't.

"Did someone throw up back there?!" Yang called out. "You better not have gotten any of it on my stuff!"

The girl in questioned let out a breath of air and breathed in deeply. "Oh, fresh air." She sounded incredibly relieved. She flipped her head, trying to toss the sticky hair from her face, but it stuck there. "Mind getting the hair out of my face?" She asked, looking up at Ruby.

"Sorry Karl." Picking up the sniper from the seat beside her, Ruby brushed the strand of hair away side wiping it on Weiss' suit.

"Thank you." The girl sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Wouldn't happen to have the keys to these cuffs?" She jangled her bindings.

"Sorry, you're being kidnapped, wouldn't be right interfering in that," said Ruby with a shrug.

"Most argue it wouldn't be right to let evil happen in front of them and do nothing about it." The girl replied half-heartedly, like she knew there was no winning an argument with a crazy person.

"Welcome to Pandora!"

"Anyway," she hesitated before going on, "how do you feel about the Atlas corporation?"

"Atlas? Atlas is _awesome_! They make the best guns around, bit pricey but by the stars, they blow everything out of the water! And have you seen that new Atlas Cyclops Sniper made in conjunction with the Schnee Corporations? Move aside Karl, Ruby's got a new favourite toy!"

"Oh, thank goodness." The woman slumped in her chair. "The last thing I needed was you to have some grudge against the Crimson Lance because they killed your parents when you were young or something." She took a bracing breath of comparitively fresh air, before drawing herself up as much as she could and facing Ruby. "My name is Weiss Schnee, fu-"

"You're Weiss Schnee? I can't believe I'm meeting you in person, is my armor on straight, you haven't seen Karl yet have you? Don't look at Karl! It's a work in progress, I swear I'm better at weapon manufacturer than that, totally, don't look, don't look!"

"It's fine!" Weiss said loudly. "Get me out of these cuffs and I'll get you a job designing weapons for my father. And a personalised Atlas Cyclops with the designers signature. And a mansion."

"I've swallowed the keys." Blake murmured from where she was sitting. "They won't be re-appearing until later this evening." She looked like she asleep. "Also, this is not a kidnapping."

"Hm… Don't suppose you've got a knife on you?" mused Ruby.

"I did, but she took it." Weiss jerked her head at Blake.

"Hmmm…" Ruby's eyes ran around the room, looking for any sharp object that could be used to cut Blake open. A bit messy, sure, but it'd totally be worth it.

"I would advise against any attempt on my life." Blake said without looking up.

"Oh don't worry, I've seen people survive worse, we'll patch you up in no time flat. Yang there is a registered field surgeon, you'll be fiiiiiine."

"If she's as skilled a surgeon as she is a pilot, I'd rather perform the operation myself."

"You know… that'd be pretty damn awesome to watch actually, think you can pull it off? This is Pandora after all."

Blake paused and considered the question. "I might be able to do it if circumstances are in my favor. Regardless, Weiss will have to wait until we land on Pandora to be freed from her restraints."

"You hear that? You're gonna be freed!" Ruby leapt forward only to suddenly skid to a stop as she looked down at the vomit that still clung to some strands of Weiss' hair. "Don't suppose I get that job now?"

"Have you undone my restraints?" Weiss gave Ruby an annoyed look. "Then no."

"Blake, keep the cuffs on. We'll blackmail them for a job at Atlas! Mwhahahahahahahahahaha!"

"You wish to be an accomp-"

Yang's voice rang out over the intercom, cutting Blake off. "Attention ladies and… ladies, we're about to enter atmosphere. Might want to take a seat, you know?"

Blake looked at Ruby. "Please take a seat. It would be bad for my health and yours if you became unsecured cargo during orbital entry."

"Yeah, yeah, just because I look like a kid doesn't mean I am one." Ruby settled back down and buckled herself before double checking Karl was secured in the seat beside her. "Karl and I have seen a lot of action."

"I never intended to suggest your bore a resemblance to a young goat." Blake replied. At Ruby's confused look, she continued. "A baby goat is called a kid." After a second she added. "I was making a joke."

"O...kay…?" With a shrug, Ruby closed her eyes and breathed out, preparing herself for re-entry. This was going to be rough.


	2. Tried being reasonable didn't like it

"Hey, Chris, I thought it was you under that helmet, how've you been? Good, I hope." Jaune threw an arm around the masked figure. "Look, I like your kids and your wife, well, not really your wife, kinda bitchy, but I like the kids! It'd be a shame if something was to… happen to them… You catch me?" He tossed the pistol from hand to hand. "I mean a bullet to the head, in case you missed that."

"Um… Mister Jaune sir, the safety's on," said one of the grunts.

"Wait, what? Hyperion doesn't make guns with safety!" Peering down at the pistol, he blinked. "Huh, it's a Jackob's gun. When did I pick up a _Jackob's_? Ugh." He dropped it onto the ground, wiping his hands on his pants. "Seriously, there's a reason why Hyperion is one of the top sellers and Jackob's is… well… in the trash. Like your kids if I kill them. And I totally will! Honest."

Jaune leaned back in his seat, looking out at the absolute wasteland that was Pandora and the trash of heap that was called the escape shuttle while sitting in what must be the Bandit version of an all terrain vehicle. All around them lay the the withered husk of the port city of Tristain, the market district long since destroyed by the looting and general mayhem of Pandora. The few wooden stalls that weren't destroyed were coated in a fine layer of purple dust and the buildings closest to the sea were partially encased in purple crystals.

"You know, the whole crystal thing, is really snazzy. The technocolor style of the buildings and overall flower theme is puke inducing, but damn, I love the way the light refracts off of the crystal. Think it's strong enough for me to stab your kids with them? I kid, I kid!" Pause. "See what I did there? Hilarious wasn't I?"

The ragtag crew of Faunus glanced at each other in confusion.

"But seriously, you had one job and one job only, capture Weiss Schnee." With a flick of the wrist, the dagger hidden up his sleeve popped out. "Damn it love doing that!" Another flick and it retracted. Flick out, flick in, flick out, flick in, flick out, fli-

"Where was I? Oh right, Weiss Schnee. As much as I love Hyperion and dear daddy, Atlas and by extension, the Schnee corporation, build much better guns. Guns we could have blackmailed them out of. So what did you decide to do? Blow a bloody hole in the window and try to suck us all into space!" Quick as a snake, the dagger was to Chris' throat. "It's a good thing I love your kids, or they'd be missing daddy right now."

A bump in the road moved them just enough for the knife to dig into Chris' throat.

"Shit!" Jaune pulled the knife back back. "Anyone got medical training here? Come on, stay with me, I like your kids, hate your wife and your wife will fucking love it if you die and I can't be bringing her good news."

"Um… it's just a nick, you didn't cut anything," said the oh so helpful faunus from before.

"Oh." Jaune stared down at the blood before sitting back down and turning to the one who had just spoken. Monkey tail, blonde hair, blue eyes, stupid expression on his face. "So, what's your name?"

"Sun." Monkey Boy replied, and his face twisted into the most convincing smile Jaune had ever seen on a Faunus. If he didn't know better, he might even say it _was _real.

"Creative name, real cool." Another bump in the road before the smooth ride turned into the stupidity of off road driving as they turned off the road into proper wilderness. The purple glow slowly receded until everything was back to its natural hue,the city vanished into the distance and a mountain range came into view. Gentle rolling hills, fields of blue flowers, creatures that were the size of a van and looked like snot waddling on six legs…

Oh, there's a varkid, thank the stars, for a second there the entire thing was feeling more like an acid trip than reality.

"Yo, driver, think we can go through that varkid mound? You know, some roadkill for the journey, a bit of rock and roll, shame I didn't bring my stash. Not that I had a stash mind you and it's certainly not under my bed." At all the blank looks, assuming it was meant to be blank looks since it resembled like their normal expression, Jaune just lowered his hand. "Er… nevermind. Just keep driving my good man."

Turning slightly to the east, the truck kept thundering along, the lack of whatcha-ma-call-it's making the entire trip agonising. Eventually though, as the sun began dipping below the horizon, they made it to the foot of the mountain range. The lights flicked on and they descended into what appeared to be an abandoned mine, bits of limbs and more than one head decorating the entrance. Though the blood graffitti was definitely a unique and nic-

"Hey! Hyperion does not suck! Who wrote that?"

Silence.

"Fine, whatever." Jaune sat back down and crossed his arms.

Without any warning, the lights flicked off once more and the entire car slowed to a crawl.

"Be very quiet, sound attracts the Grimm," whispered Chris before something was passed into Jaune's hands. "Here, spray this on yourself, it masks your scent."

In the pitch blackness, Jaune fumbled around, trying to find the trigger and nozzle. Making sure to point it away from him towards whoever it was on his right, Jaune sprayed it. No screams, no melting skin, no sudden explo-

By the sparky butt of Shodan, what is that!? Pressing a sleeve to his noise, Jaune turned away, taking shallow breaths with his mouth, but that didn't help. Instead of smelling rotten shit that had been fermented, he could now _taste_ it. This was an assassination attempt, it had to be. Perhaps the worst attempt in history, but it was still life threatening. Death by odor. Weirder things have happened.

"Do I ha-"

A chittering noise echoed through the cave system and quickly growing in tempo and volume. It was hard to tell how many there were in the best of conditions, but down here with that sort of ramp up? Three dozen at least, probably an entire nest. That sent a shudder down Jaune's spine. Five skitters were scary enough, but an entire nest of them? There's a reason why even Handsome Jack was leery of trying to reclaim the capital from the infestation of skitters there.

Without a second thought, Jaune turned the nozzle on himself and sprayed himself down from head to toe, making sure to cover every single last inch. The girl next to him ripped the bottle out of his hand and sprayed herself down and so it continued down the line until they all smelled worse than half decomposed body.

Slowly, gradually, they began easing forward once more, every creak of the wheels making Jaune wince. Even his happy place wasn't helping and that place had kittens! Cute, fluffy kittens doing silly things. The seconds stretched on, then minutes then hours. Soon days had passed and it was only once they reached their first century did the chittering noises fade and the truck roll to a stop.

A soft hiss filled the air and a muted green light filled the air as Chris held up a glowstick. With a gesture of his hands, everyone followed him single file through the tight crevice in the wall, rocks digging into Jaune's chest as he just managed to scrape through. On the other side was a cavern filled with green and blue glowing mushroom, casting an eerie glow on everything. The best part though, was the pool of water off to the their right and what appeared to be a change of clothes.

A quick wash and change of clothes later, they began making their way down the corridor right by the water and with each turn came a set of lights, each one brighter than the last, letting their eyes slowly adjust. Though with the glowing fungus, it wasn't really necessary, but it was a nice bonus.

Entering a second large cavern, Jaune raised an eyebrow at the barricade, four sentry turrets and twenty armed guards. Unlike the bunch he was with, these guys actually wore armor and seemed like they knew how to handle a weapon.

"Yo!" Jaune began walking forward. "Is Cinder here, need to talk to her about that 'plan' of hers, or is she hiding behind a computer screen like usual?"

"She called a few minutes ago to see if you were back yet." The Bunny eared base commander answered blandly. At least, he thought it was bland, it was a little hard to tell with Faunus. "I'm sure she'll call back soon."

"Of course. I want someone to get her on the line right now, as well as a room and food prepared for me. That trip was a killer." Jaune tossed his clothes to the girl. "And get these washed, they're expensive."

The commander glanced down at the clothes, before looking back up at Jaune. An eyebrow very deliberately arched up from behind her black sunglasses. "Do you know how to operate an echo-phone and a washing machine?"

"I'd play nice lady since I'm the one forking out the cash for that armor and gun of yours." Jaune strolled past. "And use the lime scented stuff on the clothes, I love that."

"..." She turned to stare at Jaune as he strolled past, her knuckles white as it looked like she was trying to strangle his coat. After a second she handed the clothes to an underling and said in inflectionless tones, "Please put that in the hamper with the rest."

Some random faunus led Jaune through the narrow cave complex, eventually bringing him to something that actually looked livable. Proper walls, limited lights, plumping food and a bed. Kinda tiny like a cell, but hey, home sweet home.

After a few minutes of relaxing and taking his shoes off, that Faunus with the fake smile came in carrying an echo device. "I wish to speak to Jaune, she said," he said.

"Heeeeey, Cinder, long time no chat, still haven't fixed that lighting issue I see." Sitting down on his bed, Jaune flashed her his magazine worthy grin. "You know, I was so excited to meet you in person and here you are, nowhere to be found."

Through the screen, Cinder just gave an enigmatic smile. "Sorry dear, but you weren't expecting me to travel all the way out there, were you? Grimm territory is no place for a lady, you know."

"A lady? Please, I've seen the plans you come up with and on that note." Flick of the wrist and hellooooo knife. "That last plan of yours was terrible."

"Now that's a little harsh, don't you think?" Cinder poked her tongue out playfully. "I think it went fairly well, all things considered. Your father's ship was destroyed, the faunus will get the blame and no one can connect it to you, or more importantly, me. Because Hyperion failed to stop a bunch of Pandoran roughians, Atlas will be less willing to trust them to protect future ventures, and even if Atlas believe Hyperion could fight off some lowly Faunus, that just means they kidnapped Weiss for themselves. Either way, Atlas can't trust Hyperion. And so what if we didn't capture the little ice princess? She has no where to go. She's either dead aboard the ship, or managed to catch an escape pod and is now in some far off, barely habitable corner of the continent."

"You missed the part where your plan almost got _me_ killed," hissed Jaune. "Don't forget, you still need me to get to the Vault."

"I keep telling you stop antagonizing the Faunus." Cinder rolled her eyes. "They might not _look_ angry, but they can really carry a grudge."

"What are you talking about? They love me! I'm the most eligible bachelor of the year four times in a row, you know," said Jaune.

"I'm not saying anything about the effect you have on human women, but Faunus are different Jaune. They can be a lot more… instinctive." Ember continued on, not really giving Jaune a chance to reply. "In any case, we need to talk about your little body guard friend, Miss Nikos."

"What about her?"

"She survived." Cinder smirked. "I have tagged her as entering atmosphere in a drop ship, along with a small platoon of Hyperion's best and finest."

"Time for a distress signal?" Leaning back in his chair, he put his feet on the table. "A little ambush, take care of her before she becomes too much of an issue. Shame too, she really should have taken that paid vacation I offered."

"Sweetie, if you and your Faunus friend _can _actually kill her, then by all means do so. But, how shall I put this… Do you know how few _successful _vault hunters there are?"

"Now, now Cinder my dear, I have the backing of Hyperion. You hold your cards, I'll hold mine, but simply put, you will help me deal with my wayward guardian because you never leave loose ends. Especially ones with the prestige of Phyrra. We lure her into a trap or we lure her off world. It matters little, but she needs to be dealt with."

Cinder gave a vaguely disappointed sigh. "I'll talk to some of my bandit friends in the area. They should at least slow her down until we can come up with a more permanent solution."

"Hey, look, I'll even leave an echo recording saying they took me off world or something. Send her on a wild goose chase."

"Make it convincing, please. She's a smart girl, and she probably already suspects you."

"Don't worry, I took acting lessons as a child. You should hear my screams for help, blood curdling."

"I'm sure. Now, the last thing on the uh, _agenda, _is the rest of the survivors from the Hindentanic. Or, to be more precise, if you could make sure there's _less _of them. Each one of them is a potential witness that might have something Jack could use to connect you, or me, to the attack."

"Eh, I'll see what I can do. Some help from your bandit friends would be great, but hey, with a bit of luck, I'll still have access to Hyperion tech. I'll need to cover my steps, but…"

"Very well then. I'll let you go now, I'm sure you're tired from your journey."

"I'll contact you once I've done the echo recording."

"Don't bother, I'll be working with some of my other contacts after this, and I trust you to handle it." With a final wink, Ember hung up from her end and the screen turned blank.

"Fucking bitch."

* * *

"Ugh…" Ruby cracked open an eye only to hiss at the bright light. "What happened?"

Something sticky trailed down her jaw, her hair sticking to her face as she tried to regain her bearings and figure out just what insanity happened this time. She wiggled her fingers and toes and while it was painful, especially her right arm, nothing seemed broken. Slowly, she pulled her arms under her only for a gasp of pain to escape when her elbow hit ninety degrees. Gritting her teeth, she relaxed her right arm, whimpers escaping with each subtle movement. Then slowly, tenderly, she rolled onto her left side, making sure to keep her injured arm straight. Something shifted above her, buckling and groaning. Dust rained down, the dull screech of metal on metal echoed through wherever she was before something heavily slid off and more light streamed in.

"Hello?" A hacking cough ran through her body. "Yang?"

"Oh, thank goodness." A voice above her said, before calling down. "Are you feeling okay, do you think you can stand?"

"Weiss?" Blinking her eyes, Ruby wiped some of the blood and dust away. "How's Yang and Blake?"

"I haven't seen Yang, but Blake's just across from you, I'm think she might be dead." She seemed somewhat enthused by the idea. "Do you think you could get the keys from her? I've been hanging here while you guys were all out."

"Think my right arm's busted," said Ruby as she pressed her good hand against the sheet of metal above her. "Think you can lighten the load a bit?"

"Uh, no."

"Just kick it or something?" With a grunt, Ruby shoved hard and felt something give above her. "Don't want to be buried alive down here."

"As much as you'd like me to help you, I'd like to help you just as much." Weiss answered, sounding frustrated. "But I am still trapped in this chair, and not horizontal with the ground at this moment."

"Oh. Well, if I die, everything I own goes to Karl. If that's illegal, then Yang, I suppose." After a steadying breath, Ruby rammed the pile of junk and lots of somethings skidded down the side. "That work at all?"

"It looks like it from here. Give it another push."

"A-Alright." Another shove and this time, the right side of the metal sheet jumped up, revealing a clear line of sight to the ceiling. "I think I can get o-" A scraping sound echoed through the craft before something crashed onto her leg, causing her to cry out in pain.

"...Are you okay? I didn't see but that sounded like it hurt."

"Y-Yeah," whimpered Ruby. She wiggled her toes, biting her bottom lip to stop herself from crying out yet again. "Should be able to wiggle out…"

Just then a pained groan rang out. "Fuuuuuuhck, what have I been drinking?"

"Yang? That you?" yelled Ruby.

"Oh... hey, we landed." There was the sound of buckles being undone. "Cool."

"Mind getting all this junk off me? Arm and leg is wasted."

"Yeah, sounds good. Just… just let me get up first." It was a few moments, muffled sound of footsteps being the only indication that anything was happening. "Oh, hey it looks like the uh, passenger section is sort of… uh, twisted."

"Honestly, when I woke up I was more surprised that passenger compartment and driver's seat were still in one place."

"Hey, a landing is anything you can walk away from." Yang answered. "Uh, cover your head Ruby, some of this stuff might fall on you."

"Um…" Looking around, Ruby settled on just covering her face with one arm. "Alright, I'm all good."

"Alright. And a one, and a two," Yang grunted loudly and the heavy metal sheets pinning Ruby were suddenly lifted. Holding them in front of her, Yang tottered back a step before letting the pile fall with a loud clatter. "You okay, Ruby?"

Nodding through the dust and coughing, she pressed her scarf to her mouth in an attempt to actually catch a breath. Eventually the dust cleared and Ruby finally got a look at her right arm. A jagged cut ran halfway from the elbow to the inside of the wrist, her sleeve dripping with blood. At least her leg wasn't shredded to bits, that was a plus. Ruby struggled to sit upright before using her good hand to support herself as she stood up, wincing slightly, but stable.

"Think my leg's just bruised," said Ruby as she limped forward.

"Oh, shit." Yang stepped forward and put her arm around Ruby, and helping support her weight. "Your ankle's swelling."

"Eh, we've been through worse." Ruby glanced up and blink. "Oh, hi Weiss, hanging in there?"

"Hilarious." Weiss answered snappishly. "Now get me down!"

"That depends… is the job offer still on the table?" said Ruby.

"Not if I have to hang here for much longer." Weiss growled back.

"Yang?"

"Hm…" Yang rubbed her chin before pulling the pistol from her leg. "Weiss, hold still, I may not be a crack shot like my sis, but I'm still pretty good."

"Just get the keys from Blake!" Weiss shouted, leaning away from the pistol's barrel. "You might have a concussion, or be seeing double for all I know!"

"Not my fault you're too high up for me get you down, but seriously, stop moving~"

"No! Don't shoot or I swear to Shodan, I'll sue you for every last cent! Neither of you will ever be able to afford a gun again!"

"You know, she's got a point Yang, you are a terrible shot." Ruby held out a hand. "Pass it over, will you?"

"But you're ri-"

Behind them, they heard the snap of a bullet being loaded into the chamber. "Drop the gun," came Blake's voice.

"Oh, hey, glad to see you're awake," said Yang. "We're just about to shoot Weiss down, you wanna take a shot? Not with that though."

With one hand, Blake undid the buckles on her strap, but didn't lower Yang's shotgun. "Stop pointing that at Weiss."

"Alright, alright, here." Yang passed it over to Ruby who then pointed it at Weiss. "Look, I'm no longer pointing it at Weiss!"

Blake tilted her head to the side. "The instruction was intended for both of you. I thought humans were less literal."

"All of you, just drop the guns and get me out!" Weiss shouted, all but screaming. "I think the blood's going to my head."

"You're horizontal to the ground," said Ruby.

"She's right, it would be unlikely." Blake agreed, before lowering her gun. "Ruby, if you would step aside I will free her."

"Wait, am I the only one who got injured?" asked Ruby.

"Um…" Yang looked over her body. Torn clothes, a half punctured chest plate that barely stopped some shrapnel and a couple of scratches, but nothing serious from the looks of things. "Yeah, I'm good."

"I may be experiencing a concussion." Blake offered, as she rose to her feet. "However, that appears unlikely as my motor skills seem to be unimpaired."

"I pulled a nail trying to get out of this chair." Weiss added, miserably.

"Just my luck," grumbled Ruby as she began digging around in some rubble. "I'm going to find someone who actually cares about the pain I'm in."

"You are aware that we've landed on Pandora?" Blake turned her gaze to Ruby. "Statistically, the chances of meeting someone on this planet who won't immediately try to kill you regardless of whether you're wounded are not are about one in forty three."

"Ah ha!" From beneath an unturned chair, she pulled out Karl and slung him over one shoulder. "There we go, I've missed you and not even a nick."

"If you'll excuse me, I need to throw up." Blake said, turning away and walking towards the pilot's cabin.

"Hey, Ruby, you know what this means right?" Yang picked up the discarded handgun and aimed it at Weiss. "Now hold still."

"She swallowed the keys you dolts!" Weiss snapped. "She's just getting them!"

"Now, now, don't be like that, if I'm ever trapped in a seat and I'm too far up for you to free me, I give you permission to shoot the buckle off."

"I'll remember that." Weiss hissed, just as Blake re-emerged slightly smellier than before.

Without even glancing at Ruby and Yang, she jumped upwards, and grabbed the top of Weiss's seat. Hanging by one hand, she undid the cuffs holding Weiss in place, before undoing the straps on her seat. The moment the last belt clicked out, they both fell down to the ground, one landing gracefully and the other sprawling on her face.

"Owww," Weiss groaned, rubbing at her cheek, only for Blake to grab both her hand's again. "What are you-" With a click, Weiss's cuffs once more snapped shut, this time tying her hand's behind her back. "Oh, come on!" She shouted in frustration.

"Okay, that was kinda cool." Yang holstered her pistol. "But my way would have been totally cooler."

"I hate all of you!" Weiss snarled, as Blake pulled back onto to her feet.

"Hey, not my fault you w~on't give me the job," said Ruby, using a random broken pole as support. "Yo, Yang, any clue where we are?"

"Well I was aiming for Sanctuary and we appear to be on a beach. I say we landed north-east of it?" Something nudged the crashed escape pod from below. "And monsters. I think that was thresher."

Without a word, Blake pushed past them, lightly scrambling her way up the ship's bent floor to peak out of the mangled exist hatch. After a moment, she turned around while still hanging there and tilted her head at Yang. "Are you certain you actually know where Sanctuary is located?"

"Yep!" Yang tilted her head to the side. "Then again, we saw that months ago."

"Well, that might explain your confusion. Sanctuary is on an entirely different continent to where we are."

"Huh. Oops. So…" Yang raised her shotgun and grinned. "It's thresher hunting season."

Blake nodded. "Ruby, would you stay here and take care of Weiss? Yang and I should be able to clear out the immediate threshers, and your sniper will be of limited use."

"Fiiiiine." Ruby sat down in a huff. "Actually, Weiss, think you can brace my sniper with your feet?"

"Absolutely not."

* * *

When Blake emerged from the wreck of their escape pod, her first thought was to make certain she was never in anything piloted by Yang ever again. The entire metal structure had actually skipped twenty metres off the surface of the ocean, before skidding for almost a hundred metres along the beach as the superheated metal of the hull buckled and warped before finally coming to a halt.

Statistically, the chances of one of them surviving such a crash were shockingly low, let alone with all four of them in reasonable shape. Perhaps it was a miracle. Then again, Ruby had indicated that Yang had crashed just as spectacularly multiple times in the past, so it could be the blonde knew how to land is such a fashion without damaging her passengers.

Turning her head, Blake stared at Yang, taking note of the way her body was remarkably unburnt, despite her armor being warped and melted in places. Her hands were calloused, and the knuckles on one hand were slightly sunken, indicating she'd broken them once, presumably by punching someone in the face at a very young age. There was a notable knife scar on one of her calves, as well as the other visible signs of a Pandoran upbringing.

Inspite of that, there was noticeable dimpling at the corner of her eyes, which indicated Yang smiled a lot. Smiling was usually done by humans when they experienced happiness, or were pretending to.

Perhaps she would enjoy a joke?

"Is it disingenuous that they are called threshers, when they do not farm?" Blake asked Yang, indicating the various tentacled beasts that circled their wrecked pod.

"Um…" Yang just looked confused before shrugging and leaping off the ship, sliding down the hull with relative ease. "Bet I can get kill more than you!"

Blake tilted her head at the odd response, before following after her. Maybe her dimples were from false smiles...

The first thresher maw must have felt them coming through the vibrations in the ships hull, because it immediately moved to catch Yang as she landed. Evidently that was a mistake, because she emptied all three barrels of her jakob's right into it's face. An explosion of purple gore sprayed in all directions, and the threshers screamed as it turned and tried to run away only to fail at piercing the ground with its newly concave head. It uselessly tried to dig into the ground for a couple of seconds, before writhing one last time and going still.

That would be one for Yang then.

The rest of the Thresher Maws converged on them at the same time as Yang reloaded and Blake landed. Drawing her Dahl pistol, Blake fired a burst of three rounds into the head of the closest thresher, causing it to scream and dive underground. Yang fired her shotgun again, blowing the tentacles off one half of a thresher, before stepping forward and punching it in the face. The best flopped backwards onto it's back, and Yang reloaded before putting foot on its head and unloading her gun into the underside of its body.

Two for Yang.

With one hand Blake fired her pistol, while her other reached for the connected wire spools on her waist. The Thresher she wounded earlier dived at her, and she slid under its attack, firing upwards. It flopped against the hull of the escape pod, spraying blood all over the reinforced steel.

One for Blake.

The next thresher dodged around Yang's next shot for the most part, and only a few flechettes from her blast scratched its skin, before it wrapped a tentacle around Yang's leg and yanked. Yang fell onto her back, but reached up to smash the thing in the jaw with her fist. The Thresher jerked back, only for Blake to loop her wire over its head with a spool in each hand. She pulled, pinning most of its tentacles against its body. It tried to struggle free, but there was a humm as Blake's wire suddenly glowed blue, and burned straight through the creature's head.

Even all.

Yang stood up and they both turned to face the last largest thresher. With a whoop, Yang rushed in, unleashing a cone of lead that shredded flesh, but didn't kill the creature. There was a loud smack where the butt of her shotgun met its face, and a wet squelch where Blake unloaded her pistol into its domed head. Another one of Yang's punches seemingly shattered its jaw, and Blake looped her wire around the tentacles on one side. It tried to yank its limbs free of Blake, only for Yang to headbut the creature in its wounded jaw. Once again the wire glowed, and suddenly half the tentacle's were separated from the beast's body with the smell of burning squid.

It screamed, turning to run only for Yang to catch its tail and start dragging it backwards out of the ground. Switching back to her pistol, Blake started firing into the back of the creature's head, as Yang dragged it back towards their pod. When she got there, Yang switched her grip on it's tail before spinning around, lifting the entire thing into the air. Yang spun in place once, before smashing the thresher into the escape pod's hull, fracturing its skull.

Blake generously decided to call that a shared kill, as she wrapped her wire back up and returned both spools to her waist. looking up, she saw Yang's teeth were bared and her lips were pulled back. Was that a smile or a sign of aggression?

"Oh come on, I was just starting to have fun! No pyro threshers? Ugh." Yang spat on the ground and holstered her shotgun before making her way back into the ship, glancing at the last thresher they had killed. "Well, at least I got to beat a thresher barehanded. That's something."

Blake just tilted her head in confusion. Yang's voice had been raised, which could either indicate excitement or anger, so no clue there to indicate whether that was a smile or not. And what she said was even more confusing.

With a small exhalation, Blake reloaded her pistol before holstering it and followed after her to make sure Weiss was unharmed. She caught up to Yang rather quickly, before giving her another long look.

After a moment she said, "We _thresh_ed them." She put extra emphasis on thresh to make sure Yang would get the joke.

"That…" Yang's response was very strange. She gave a sort of groan, which Blake understood was done when bored or annoyed, while at the same time smiling.

Blake tilted her head.

"I give up. Let's grab the others and get out of here." Yang surveyed their surroundings. "Hey, can you see any digistruct points? Maybe we can grab a car or something."

Blake turned around and looked over the scenery. On the one side was Pandora's partially alkaline oceans, water from which was only drinkable as rain. Facing inland, she saw almost nothing, but the skeletons of long extinct species and the rocky desert that coated almost the entirety of Pandora's equator. There were no building or signs of life of any kind, other than the occasionally spiked predatory plant that would consume any insect or small animal that got too close.

There was probably more threshers out there, lurking under the surface.

"May I stand on your shoulders?" Blake turned to Yang.

"Sure, hop on!"

Yang turned around, and Blake jumped up onto her shoulders. She wobbled for a second, but stood straight after a moment. Yang didn't seem to have much trouble with her weight. Swiveling around, Blake surveyed the horizon. After a moment she spotted a faint patch of darkness.

"I see what looks like smoke to the west, north, west."

"Probably another crashed ship, with some luck, one of them will be a medic." Blake leapt off her shoulders and Yang immediately moved over to one bent corner of the airship. She grabbed the metal plating with both hands and ripped it free. "Grab some wire and crap. We can make a sled out of this, Ruby won't be moving fast with her leg in its current state."

Blake glanced down into the ship. "Weiss could pull the sled."

Yang's lipped curled into something that could be a grin. "She can, can't she?"

Blake tilted her head. Perhaps Yang was a sadist?

* * *

Dead or not dead. Dead or not dead. On one hand dead meant one thing. Loot! On the other hand, there may be a doctor in which case one of them being alive would be perfect. Then again, Ruby's wounds weren't actually that bad so some basic medical supplies would do the trick and if they were dead and a doctor that meant free loot and healing!

Dead it was.

With that philosophical conundrum over and done with, Yang whistled a cheery tune and pulled on the makeshift sled with a skip. Beside her, Blake tilted her head and Weiss looked scared, but whatever! Dead was the way to go and if they weren't dead well, shit, that wouldn't be fun? Well, it could be fun. Maybe. Only if they were good with a gun and evil otherwise laaaaaame.

Together they hauled the sled over the sand dune, the smoke still obscuring most of the crash site, but at least they were in sight of it now. As one, they jumped onto the sled, letting it slide down the slope, the wind and sand whipping into their face.

"Whoooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Both Ruby and Yang threw their hands into the air, ignoring the sand that got into their mouth.

Weiss just looked vaguely weary, and Blake gripped the edges of the sled so she could steer it.

As it came to a slow stop at the base of the sand dune, Yang's grin only got larger. Bandits. A dozen bandits with bandity weapons and bandity gear doing bandity things with a very wrecked escape pod. Parts lay stripped on the ground, but that didn't matter, it was bandit hunting season.

Both groups stared at each other, fingers at the ready, guns at the hips. Shame the sun wasn't directly above them, but sun in the eyes? Just made it a bigger challenge, and everyone loves a challenge. It made her tingle in places she didn't know could tingle.

"So…" Yang grinned, eyes darting from enemy to enemy. "Who wants to be my first partner? Promise not to break 'em. Well… not completely at least."

The one on the far right twitched, but Blake was faster on the draw, placing a nice neat hole in his head. Darting forward, Yang stomped on the scrap metal plating on the ground, sending it into the air at chest height. Sparks flew as bullets pinged off it uselessly before she grabbed it and threw with all her strength. It sliced through two bandits at the waist before impaling itself on the metal hull. Shotgun drawn, the a bullet grazed her cheek, drawing a bit of blood, but that just made Yang grin more.

She drank down that meager amount of pain, racing forward, firing with one hand before smashing the face of a second bandit in. As he staggered back, she slipped behind him, one arm around his neck, choking him and using him as a body shield.

Somehow, Blake had already taken down two bandits and was working on a third with that wire of hers. Even Ruby was getting on the action with a Maliwan pistol she had gotten somewhere.

Three bullets slammed into her makeshift meat shield and that bandit found out what a lead sandwich tasted like. As a bullet whizzed past her head, she dropped her now empty shotgun and pulled the SMG from her shield's holster. There was no aiming, no precision, just a wide spray of bullets into the nearest target. Two hit, sending the bandit to her knees and as the third slammed into her chest, her clothes were suddenly set alight and Yang could feel a giggle building.

She tossed her body shield aside and scooped up a pistol, firing both in tandem as she walked towards the last bandit. Something slammed into her chest, making her stumble back, gasping for breath, but she kept walking and firing. Had her armor stopped it? Did it matter? This was awesome!

Clothes were set on fire, the smell of acid was thick in the air and Yang just watched as the last one screamed in pain, clawing at her shoulder where the bullets had hit. Burning skin, skin being eaten away by corrosive liquids, Yang drank it in as she press a boot to the bandit's chest, keeping him still as she raised her SMG.

Click.

With a shrug, she tossed it behind her then switched to her pistol. A single shot to the head, acid eating away at the skull revealing all that gooey human matter behind it before. His eyes moved side to side, before that too melted under whatever it was they put into the Maliwan guns.

Wiess was looking at the puddles of former people with revulsion all over her features. "I can't be the only one who thinks it's impossibly cruel to use elemental weapons like that."

Blake looked over at her from where she was calmly strangling a bandit who was desperately reaching for a pistol lying just out of his reach. "I have never considered that."

"That doesn't surprise me." Wiess rolled her eyes.

"You know Ruby, you may be right, elemental guns are pretty damn awesome." Yang stroked her imaginary beard. "Got a way to make a gun fire as fast as a Vladof's but with fire or acid, or both?"

"See? I told you! Yo, Weiss, you guys making any super awesome elemental weapons?"

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Weiss muttered, glancing at a withered, still smoking, black skull.

"Oh come on!" Yang sat down next to the dead body, posing with it and doing the victory sign with her fingers. "Look at this guy, much prettier in death than life I tell ya. Say cheeeeeese~!"

Blake tilted her head at Yang. "None of them have any."

"Exactly! And why did we win? Because we have it!" Yang leapt onto her feet, grabbing her shotgun and reloading it as she went into the escape pod. "Aegis cheese is best cheese, guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and leave you refreshed!"

Blake just watched her for a second, before standing up and dusting herself off. "If anyone finds any sunglasses, or other suitable protective eyewear, I claim ownership."

"Oh! Oh! Spare gun parts are mine, especially snipers! I need parts to upgrade Karl some more. A better scope would be awesome!" Ruby limped after them, moving far faster than should be possible with that injury.

"Is that what you people just, _do_?" Weiss asked incredulously. "Kill whoever you meet and take their things? You were even the ones who attacked first!"

Yang and Ruby exchanged a look then chorused at the same time, "Welcome to Pandora, enjoy your stay!"

"You people are barbarians." Weiss scowled.

There was a pause before Blake said, "Handsome Jack became CEO of Hyperion after killing Harold Tacciter who was its CEO at the time. In essence, Jack killed him, and took his things." She tilted her head. "How do you feel about this?"

"Not all companies are like Hyperion, and most people are most certainly not like Handsome Jack." Weiss huffed.

Blake's head tilted to the other side. "As recently as thirteen months ago, the Crimson Lance attacked the bandit settlement of Old Haven, killing all of them in the process for before using the location as their forward operating base in the region. Once again, people were killed without provocation, and their possessions taken. At the time, the Crimson Lance worked for Atlas and still do currently."

Weiss blinked in surprise, before looking away. "Just because someone else does something, doesn't make it right for you do it."

All Blake did in reply was observe Weiss for a moment, before turning away to start stripping a bandit of his clothes.

"Yo, Blake, need some bullets, got two clips here for pistol," called Yang from inside. "Also two medic packs, you need it?"

"Yes, I could use the ammunition. No, the medkits would be better used by Ruby." After a second she added. "Also, they are not technically clips because of the spring mechanism is inside them that pushes the bullets up into the gun. The appropriate term is a 'magazine.'"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, blah blah blah. Oh! Incendiary shotgun, kinda busted but… Hey Ruby, think you can patch this thing up? Also, got some bandages and stuff for your injury." Yang wandered back out, looking for Ruby.

"Bah, incendiary shotguns are terrible. You won't set _anything_ on fire with that thing." At Yang's pleading look, Ruby sighed and held out a hand. "Fine, pass it here, once we find a proper workbench I'll see what I can do."

"Yang," Blake called out, walking over with a selection of bandit-ware. She was now sporting a pair of brown aviators, and had a Vladoff machine pistol holstered at her side. "Some of these body armours may be the right size for you. They can be used to replace the damaged armour that you're currently wearing."

"Sounds good and here's your clips. Is our prim and proper lady still complaining?"

Blake paused, listening for her. "I don't think so."

"Good." Yang cracked her knuckles. "Yo Ruby! I saw some bandit technicals, need your help rewiring the damn things."

"Good thing I found the keys then!" yelled Ruby. "Just gotta find the right car…"

"Blake, you good?" asked Yang.

She glanced up and gave a very deliberate nod, before selecting a smaller set of bandit armour and walking back towards Weiss.

"Cool." Making her way out, Yang circled around to the other side of the escape pod just in time to see Ruby rev the engine of one of their rides. "Hey, that's the one that throws the explosive barrels right?"

"Yep! Doesn't have a lot of gas, but it should get us to Opportunity without too many issues."

"Bring it around front and we can patch you up and load up the junk. I'm sure a scavenger will want the parts once you're done geeking out."

"I do not geek out!"

"Sure you don't."

"Whatever, pass over the meds and let's get this show on the road already!"

Yang tossed the box into the passenger's seat before climbing in the back, letting Ruby smoothly guide them around to the front with a happy beep of the horn, only to freeze at the sight before them.

Weiss was pinned to the ground beneath Blake, screaming threats and struggling angrily as Blake used a knife to cut away off her dress.

"I swear I will get revenge! I will get revenge!" Weiss shouted.

"So! Ruby," said Yang as she threw her arm around Ruby's shoulder while casually grabbing hold of the steering wheel and turning them away from the scene, "let's check out that leg of yours."

* * *

"Clear!"

Another door was kicked down and soldiers barged through, guns raised and ready.

"Clear!"

Phyrra strolled through, slinging her assault rifle over her shoulder and giving the long since abandoned room a once over. "I want snipers at the windows, throw that table and cabinet over the hole in the wall. Two people on shift, rotation every three hours. We're in Bastion people and that means one wrong move and we're dead. Private Ruks, I want a communications relay setup, let's see if we can catch some chatter."

Everyone rushed to obey, securing their hideout for the night and ensuring nothing could get in without a fight. Varkids, grimm and who knows what else was lurking around the corner. Grabbing the offered cloth, Phyrra wiped the green blood off her forehead wiping off the worst stains from her armor.

"Captain, I spot fresh tracks. Bandit technical moving along the main street heading towards the Headless Mountains."

"Any vehicles we can use?" said Phyrra as she walked over, pulling out her own scope.

"Anything left would have already been salvaged or destroyed," replied the scout.

"Very well, we'll call in a moonshot for tomorrow morning." She scanned the area, zooming on the spot just outside of the door of the escape pod. Though it was hard to see through the smoke and obscured by distance, there didn't appear to be any drag marks or signs of struggle. It helped the entire thing survived re-entry and was landed properly. Not surprising considering the autopilot function assured a comfortable journey. "We'll also scout out the area in the morning. Perhaps he landed with Pandoran's who knew the area."

Even to her ears, that explanation sounded weak. Bastion was mere miles from the vault, it was surprising buildings were still standing and that the air was breathable. The only thing that lived in the area were those who had been touched by the grimm, which raised more questions than anything. If Jaune had been taken by one of them…

With a sigh and shake of her head, Pyrra put her scope away.

"Captain, the communications relay is set up."

"Alright, patch me through to Helios, straight to Handsome Jack," said Phyrra as she took the offered headset.

The phone rang for a couple of seconds, with no answer. Pyrrha sighed, and waited patiently for a few more minutes until Jack finally answered. "Shodan damnit, can't you tell I was pretending to be out of office. Who the hell is this?"

"Captain Phyrra, sir, I'm afraid to report a minor complication with Jaune's 'date' with Miss Weiss. Faunus took down the space station and Jaune is currently lost on Pandora, potentially captured," said Phyrra.

"..." There was a pause as Jack put something in his mouth, chewed it and swallowed before he continued. "Riiiiiight, I remember. Hey, weren't you on the security detail that was supposed to, you know, keep shit like that from happening? Gotta say, good job Sugar Lips. Really earning your pay down there, aren't ya?"

"They blew out the glass on the observation floor," stated Phyrra calmly. "I have his escape pod in sight and am in the process of tracking his location. I require two technical moonshots tomorrow morning at 0600."

"Ugh, you military types suck." Jack groaned, and there was the sound of him flipping through papers. "Which one of my son's was it you said you got killed or went missing or whatever? Was it the really bitchy one?"

"The blonde one, sir."

"Ohhhhhhhhh, right. Yeah, he's the one that's on all the magazines and good for PR or whatever. Alright, I'll send you the moon shots, try to bring him back alive, could you? It's not really a big deal if you can't, but, you know, totes try your hardest anyway. Nothing important, but show up without him and I'll kill your family. Don't show up at all and I'll kill you… Wait, got that wrong in my head. If you show up without him, I'll kill _you_, but if you don't show up at all, _then _I'll kill your family. Cool?"

"Sir, I opened a vault, a mere group of faunus will not stop me."

"Ohhhhhh, right you're _that _Pyrrha. Nikos, right? You're an orphan, you don't have any family… woops, sorry about that. Guess, I'd have to, like, have a family adopt your and then kill them or something. Whatever, I'm sure you won't mess this up anyway. Not like your Vault Hunters are good for anything other than killing thousands of random strangers."

"Part of the job, sir."

He burst into chuckles at that. "Alright, good luck with the mission. An innocent family's fate rests on your shoulders." Then he hung up.

Phyrra tossed the headset onto the ground and stalked off. Killing, always killing. She had hoped to put that all behind her, guarding a pretty boy, making sure he didn't get himself killed, it sounded like a nice easy job. Alright, sure, maybe not completely behind her, but most of it behind her. Once a vault hunter, always a vault hunter it seemed.

"Everyone, turn in, we've got an early start tomorrow and we need to be alert. I'll take the midnight shift, the rest of you divvy it up between yourselves. If you can't, I'll do it for you and you won't like it."

Everyone gave a smart salute at that and things were settled in seconds. Sometimes, having a reputation was the best thing in the world.


	3. All my best habits are paranoid

The sun was just starting to rise when their decidedly unhygienic technical pulled up at the gates of a little town called Wayside. The bandit's certainly hadn't been worried about getting rid of the smell of blood and alcohol on top of the already rather thick engine fumes. Now that it had been commandeered by their little group for a night and coated in a layer of pandoran dust, and the occasional splatter of pandoran fauna, it was probably the foulest vehicle Weiss had ever been in.

Not that that was saying much, she supposed. After all, she'd been in nothing but the finest of armour plated limousines driven by armed professionals all her life. Regardless, she hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep between the dust, the engine's ridiculous roar and Yang's even more ridiculous snoring.

Blake had driven the car through the night because she had patently refused to allow either Weiss or herself to be in anything piloted by Yang ever again. Thank Shodan for small favours, Weiss supposed. Yang hadn't even been able to land in the correct _hemisphere_, so Weiss doubted her chances of navigating the canyon strewn wilds of Pandora, let alone in the dark.

And so with eyes barricaded by rather large black bags, Weiss gazed upon 'Wayside'. It lived up to its name, she supposed. She could see the place where once upon a time a large concrete Dahl wall had surrounded the town, meaning it was probably a former outpost for mineral surveyors. Now though, the wall had been torn down by subsequent car crashes, fire fights, explosions and the occasional oversized corrosive creature that decided to take up renovation as a hobby

Strangely though, the gates at the front of the town still stood. A massive, slightly rusted and dented, but still impressively intact set of double doors loomed over their vehicle. Two large machine gun turrets were positioned above them, all eighteen of their combined barrels pointed at the little technical.

"If you fella's are from Blood-Humper's group, tell Hass that we already paid his fees this week!" A man with a loud speaker shouted from the top of the gate.

"Weiss." Blake said to get her attention. The kidnapper, and she was definitely the very definition of a kidnapper no matter what she claimed, asked, "Would you awaken Ruby and Yang for me?"

Weiss gave her an annoyed look, and considered telling her to go kiss a skag, but decided against it. The only reason not to do it was because Blake asked her to. Besides, if those men on turrets decided to start shooting, Weiss definitely wanted Ruby and Yang to be there to shoot back.

Blake stood up in the driver's eat, resting her arms in view on top of the driver's canopy. In her usual monotone, she called up, "We are not representatives of the Blood-Humpers, and we have had no dealings with anyone named Hass!"

Grumbling as she climbed over into the back seat, and her hands were still cuffed behind her back making this _extra _difficult, Weiss took great pleasure in kicking Ruby's shin.

"Ow! Hey, what the fuck man, that hurt!" Ruby glared at up Weiss through half sleepy eyes. "Yo Blake, got any more rope so we can tie her legs together?"

"No," Blake replied, "I would like her to be able to walk by herself. However, I would recommend awakening your sister, as there is a chance we will be fired at shortly. Also, I would appreciate you gagging Weiss."

"What?" Weiss snapped her head around.

"Sweet." Moving far faster than any person had the right to, Ruby grabbed Weiss by the hair, pulling on it hard. As she screamed out in pain, some wet, soggy fabric was shoved in her mouth, making her throw up just a little in her mouth. "There, done. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"I cannot deny you permission to do anything," Blake replied, keeping an eye on the gates ahead of them. "How ever, as there is a chance we will soon be fired upon, I recommend maintaining a state of consciousness, as well as awakening your sisters..

"Yang? You're joking right, she's not waking up even if it's an earthquake." Ruby jumped in the gunners seat. "Whelp, whenever you're ready cap'n."

Blake tilted her head. "I am always ready."

"If yer not Blood Humpers, than what are you doing in one of their cars?!" The man with the megaphone called down to them.

"We landed aproximately fifteen hours away from here in an escape pod!" Blake called up. "We killed the previous owners of this technical, and drove here! Also, unless the Blood Humper's territory extends eight hundred kilometres to the West coast, I doubt this is one of their vehicles!"

"Wait a second…. are you calling me stupid?!" The man atop the walls shouted down after a moment, sounding annoyed.

"...I do not believe I said that." Blake looked over at Weiss and Ruby. "Did I imply that?"

Weiss only said, "I hate you," but it was muffled by her gag, so it only sounded like, "Hi hae hu."

When Blake looked to the turret, she saw Ruby asleep again.

Finally, she looked back up at the man on the wall. "I apologise! I had no intention of suggesting you were mentally deficient, or highlighting the fact if you indeed were!"

"...What?" The voice called back down.

Blake paused, before repeating, "I said, I apologise! I had no intention of suggesting you were mentally deficient, or highlighting the fact if you indeed were!"

"Oh… uh, sure. I, um, understood that." There was a confused pause. "Um, well, you can come in if you like. Just, uh, forwardtabulate the vehicle in."

Blake paused, and seemed like she wanted to reply to that, before she sat back down in the driver's seat, and steered them through the enormous gates. She spoke over her shoulder as she did, "Weiss, wake them both up again."

Weiss shot her another glare, and huffed in disdain.

Blake looked back at her. "I do not know what that means."

Weiss rolled her eyes and gave up. What's the point in passive aggression when the other party doesn't even understand it?

She walked to the back of the technical and nudged Yang's face with her foot. When there was no response, Weiss nudged harder. _Oh come on,_ she growled to herself, before kicking Yang in the stomach.

Yang snorted and brushed the foot away before rolling over.

Weiss's eyes narrowed. Shuffling backwards on her rear, she grabbed the bolt that kept the tailgate up, and fumblingly undid it. When it was open, she awkwardly stood up, and rolled Yang out of the back of the car with her feet.

Thud.

Followed by snoring.

_This is ridiculous._ Turning around, Weiss made her way to where Ruby was sleeping on the turret. Weiss kicked her in the leg, unbalancing the girl and making her fall down into the back of the car.

"Ow! Seriously Weiss, what is wrong with you? Blake, can I shoot her?"

"No." Blake replied, immediately turning to face Ruby and reaching for her gun.

"Can I hit her? I promise not to break any bones~"

"No physical harm is to come to Weiss Schnee."

_My hero,_ Weiss thought sarcastically.

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Yo Yang, bandits, six o'clock, time for so-"

"Action! Finally! Booyah!" And just like that, Yang was on her feet, throwing punches and kicks in the air before stopping and blinking. "Damn it Ruby, I thought I told you to stop doing that!"

"Then stop destroying all the alarm clocks I make for you!"

"They shot at me!"

"Well they wouldn't have to if you weren't such a deep sleeper."

"I am not a de-"

"Signal."

"Well… Shut up." Yang jumped back onto the trailer. "So where are we and what's going on? Things to kill yet?"

"We have arrived at a town with a Fast Travel Network node." Blake informed her. "If you wish to go to the city of Opportunity, I recommend use of the Fast Travel Network."

"Cool. Good luck on the whole kidnapping thing. Sorry Weiss, I would rescue you except waaaaaay too much work keeping you gagged the entire time," said Ruby.

"Once again, I must emphasize this is not a kidnapping."

"Yo! Dude on the wall, this a kidnapping or is this a kidnapping?" asked Ruby gesturing at the tied up Weiss.

"Huh? 'Thought she was a live bounty or somethin'." The guy replied.

"Same thing," said Ruby. "So in other words, totally outvoted."

"There is only one individual in this group capable of determining whether or not this is a kidnapping." Blake replied, then without waiting for a reply, pushed Weiss so she stumbled a few stops ahead of her. "Walk in front of me."

"Totally a kidnapping," muttered Ruby under her breath as she yawned.

Weiss was inclined to agree. She had the sores on her wrists from where the cuffs had rubbed her skin raw.

Even without having been here before, it was impossible for Weiss to get lost. The town barely had ten real buildings, four of which had collapsed long ago. In their place stood a number of scrappy shanties, built as closely together as possible to conserve space. As their group was passing them, a number of poorly dressed children played across the roof tops in what looked like tag to Weiss. All the towns main structures were laid out in two rows of five buildings each, and right in the centre of it all was what looked like a Dahl made Fast Travel station. Someone had modified, and stripped the machine of all its Dahl identifiers, replacing the gun metal grey parts with Hyperion Gold licensing and internal components.

As they approached the node, a female voice greeted. "Hyperion: We don't care, unless you have money."

Weiss would have dove for the machine, and tried to get it to transport her somewhere her kidnapper couldn't follow, but Blake had already taken and destroyed her Echonet Device. Without it, she didn't have a license to use it.

"Stop here." Blake instructed Weiss, before turning to face Yang and Ruby. "I would prefer it if you two went first."

"Why, is it going to explode?" asked Yang.

"No, I just want to avoid you two seeing where we will be traveling."

"Hey, we had fun! Didn't we have fun? The threshers and then the bandits. Think about the things we could see, the stuff we could slaughter, the fun that's be the had!" Yang threw an arm around Blake's shoulders. "Though… um… after you drop Miss Snooty off. She's kinda a mood killer."

"Are you inviting me to join in your endeavor to hunt a vault?" Blake tilted her head.

"Um…" Yang glanced over at Ruby who merely shrugged. "Sure, a third person would be nice. You know, deal with more situations, more gear, more loot that we can carry."

Blake considered before answering, "Despite the fact that I have no desire for wanton slaughter, your offer is of some interest. After I have completed my current most obligations, and presuming I'm not assigned any more, I may join you in Opportunity."

"There's a guy in Opportunity, knows everything about everything, goes by the name Ozpin. If we're not around just talk to him." Ruby rustled away in a bag before drawing out a piece of paper and scribbled something on it. "Here's our address, come look us up if you stop by, we probably won't be there for long though."

Blake took the offered information, and folded it up before zipping it up inside one of her side pockets. "If you would please use it first."

"Just one thing, if you get captured by Schnee or Atlas, please eat the paper. I'd rather not be hunted down across the entire galaxy," said Ruby before noticing Yang's gleeful expression. "Oh dear, would you look at that, gotta go, bye!" Grabbing Yang in one hand and reaching out for the fast travel station with the other, a buzz sounded and a red light flashed. "Um… Blake, it's not working."

Blake tilted her head at the machine, before stepping forward only for it to buzz at her as well.

"Unauthorized User." A serenely pleasant female voice came out speakers. "Please wait where you are so a Hyperion Employee can arrive to forcibly clear you away from valuable Hyperion property, you penniless bottom feeder."

Blake's head shifted in the other direction. "I'm certain I updated my Fast Travel pass immediately before embarking on the Hindentanic."

"Probably lockdown due to the whole space station thing." Ruby brushed past. "Mind if I open this up, maybe I can rewire it and hack into it or something."

"I would prefer it if you refrained from tampering with my system," came a second female voice from the machine. "That and Jack has probably installed something inside to make it… unpleasant if you failed."

"Who is this?" Blake asked the machine. "Are you responsible for invalidating our passes?"

"No, your friend is correct though. Due to the attack on the Hidentanic, fast travel is currently restricted, however, I do have the ability to get you past that," replied the voice.

Blake turned towards Yang and Ruby, and said lowly. "I find this incredibly suspicious."

"Well are there any other fast travel networks near here we could use?" asked Ruby.

"The next closest one is only half a day's travel from here, however we will have to cross several territories controlled by various middle of the range bandit clans."

"Sounds like fun, let's do it!" Yang was already on her feet, walking towards the exit.

"You will find the exact same travel restrictions there." The woman warned them. "At least hear me out before you make your decision."

"Yang." Ruby grabbed hold of her sister's hand.

"Oh fiiiiine, but there better be things to kill!"

"Thank you." Somehow, the machine breathed a sigh of relief. "There are two other crashed escape pods near here, but unfortunately, one has already been visited by the Blood Humpers to the south of here. I would appreciate it if you could visit both sites and check for survivors."

"I say we visit the bandit camp first!" Yang was back on her march out the door.

"Well it's bound to take less than a day," added Ruby with a shrug. "And we have a technical so it'll be even faster. Blake, you in?"

Blake hesitated, before turning to stare at Weiss.

She shifted uncomfortably under the gaze, glaring right back.

Eventually Blake looked up at the sky. "It would seem to be the least objectionable thing to do."

"Wonderful!" Was that the audio of clapping hands ripped from an old movie? As the applause died down, a soft beep was heard. "I have updated your echo devices with the the locations of the two escape pods as well as the bandit camp. Oh! And before I forget, you can call me Angel."

"..." Blake stared at her echo device for a moment, before turning it off and removing the batteries.

"Do we need to stock up on anything?" said Ruby.

"Basic medical supplies to treat the survivors, and extra water." Blake answered.

"We can trade in the guns we looted as well, unless you want them?" said Ruby.

"You two may keep two thirds of the proceeds." Blake replied without glancing at either of them, now looking intently at the Fast Travel Node.

"Sweet! More mooooooooooooney! I'll sell the stuff, you grab the boring things," yelled Yang as she ran off. "Meet you at the technical in ten."

With a sigh and amused shake of her head, Ruby followed.

* * *

Pyrrha knelt down, fingers tracing the technical tracks before standing back up and entering the escape pod. No bullet holes, no explosive residue, no sign of struggle and nothing left behind. Potentially unconscious for the entire duration and considering how they approached the entire situation on the Hindentanic, they were certainly smart enough to keep him unconscious.

Tapping her echo locator, all major and minor settlements in the immediate area were highlighted and she frowned. One set of tracks leaving, and no settlements in sight. On the map at least and considering Hyperion had a monopoly on Pandora and only idiots tried to survive without funding…

Fanaus? If that was the case, things did not bode well.

With a sigh and shake of her head, Pyrrha walked out and jumped onto the technical that had been moonshotted in. All her men jumped in and the engine purred to a start.

"Where to, Captain?" asked the driver.

"Follow the tracks for as long as possible."

"Yes, ma'am!"

They drove on in silence, everyone tense, guns at the ready. At the same time though, no one dared to fire a shot in case the noise drew out more creatures, or even a grimm. For her part, Pyrrha just reviewed all the information she had from the security footage from the Hidentanic to the few audio files she had of the engagement. Varkids were run over, skags became road kill, but she blocked it all out. All that mattered now was getting Jaune back.

It just didn't make sense. It felt like a kidnapping, but they came so close to killing him as well. Shooting out the windows, spraying down the entire place with bullets not caring who they hit and just plain wanton destruction. She was missing something, a piece of critical information and it was right there, waiting to be found if only she'd open her eyes.

"Ma'am, technical sighted, ten o'clock!"

Pyrrha waved her hand over the echo device, shutting down all the open recordings before tapping the side of her visor, deactivating the entire thing. Pushing open the roof hatch, she hauled herself up, bracing herself against the side of the turret while taking out her assault rifle, eyes scanning the area around them. At some point, they had made their way out of the city onto the dirt road and the sun was setting behind the abandoned technical. That made things a bit more difficult, but the challenge would be nice change of pace.

Stopping a good ten yards out, the other vehicle circled to the other side, before gesturing to Pyrrha. With a nod to the gunner, she leapt onto the ground, assault rifle at the ready as she slowly approached. Dimly, she was aware of others making their way out to surround the vehicle from all directions. She squinted against the sun, making out what appeared to be corrosive marks against the side of the abandoned technical, a door half eaten by the acid. And enough bullet holes along the side to fill three Bandit SMG clips.

All it took was a flick of her wrist and the thin bar along her left arm spun open, revealing a circular shield made out of multiple overlapping circular plates, almost looking like cogs in some complex machine. With a nod to the person on her right, they began approaching slowly. Taking up position on either side of the door, Pyrrha gave a second nod and her partner threw the door open while she slipped in front, shield to keep her safe and assault rifle braced on it.

Nothing.

"Clear!" called Pyrrha as she shoulder her rifle. "Search the area, see if there's any clues."

Climbing into the passenger side seat, Pyrrha opened all the drawers, rummaging through them all, but it was full of chip bags and what appeared to paper that had been turned to goop by the corrosive grenade. Hands roaming around under the seat, she felt something metallic and drew it out, blinking in surprise at the echo recorder.

"Get back you sons of bitches! You won't take me alive!" screamed Jaune's voice from the echo recorder, as the gunfire in the background continued, before being drowned out by an explosion. "Ha! That's the best you've got? I'm Jaune Badass Arc! Fire, fire fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire~!"

Pyrrha stared at the echo recorder in her hand.

"The burning heat of this flaming car only inspires me to reach new heights never before seen. My fiery soul will match it and exceed it!" More gunfire could be heard, causing the recording to crackle and hiss in her hand. "I am the harbinger of truth and justice, gaze upon my magnificence!"

"Oh no, sir, it's too much!" came a strained, but monotone voice.

"His blazing spirit is too much, we won't be able to hold!" came another.

"Retreat, we must… retreat," added a third.

"When they talk about the badass crew of Vault Hunters, they talk about me! Jaune Arc! You think you can run from justice? Think again villains!" A series of explosion ran through the recording for a solid minute before everything died back down. Then Jaune's voice came back in, strained and wavering ever so slightly. "It appears they found my one weakness, a bullet made of eridium to pierce my very soul. If you find this recording, please, tell Pyrrha to come to the north, there's a small village there, hopefully I'll be able to get treatment there…"

Pyrrha just stared at the recording, wondering what it was she had just heard and whether or not her breakfast had contained any illegal drugs in it.

"Um… Ma'am, you alright?"

"No sergeant, I do not think I am." She handed over the echo recording. "Listen to this and tell me what you think."

A little over five minutes later, they both stared at it.

"I… have no idea," he finally managed to say.

"But it's a fake right?"

"It's got to be, but…"

"It's so bad?"

"Yeah…" Sergeant James snapped his fingers. "It's the faunus, they find it hard to comprehend human emotions and so when it came to acting…" He gestured at the recording. "Obviously, Jaune was overdoing it on purpose to make ensure we would know it was a trap."

"That does sound like Jaune," said Pyrrha. "Alright, mobilise everyone, we'll keep following the tracks into the forest."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Shield in hand, assault rifle at the ready, Pyrrha marched forward, her visor easily enhancing the meager light in the tunnels to give her vision. Spiderant blood dripped from her shield, some bits of carapace still clinging to it from where she had squished one against the wall. For the past five minutes though, things had gone silent. Perhaps they had moved out of the nest, but there was something slightly off about the entire thing.

It was…

The chittering. There was something about it, tugging at a memory of when she was deep under the earth, getting ready to open the Vault for the first time. A soft chittering much like this one that slowly grew louder, more scattered, more confused as the Vault slowly opened only to reach an all time high pitch as Grim flooded out. Then, silence.

Now!

Pyrrha pivoted on on foot, assault rifle firing in a wide arc just above her squad's head, emptying the magazine in a matter of seconds. Black creatures dropped from the ceiling, but she was already on the move, diving to one side as a white mantis scythe sliced through, narrowly missing her, but not the guy beside her. Sliced clean in half at the waist, he didn't even have time to scream.

She kept on moving, constantly weaving, diving, reloading and returning fire whenever possible. All around her, screams and mad firing echoed through the tunnel as her squad returned fire. Movement came from the corner of her eye and she ducked low, shoving her shield up and under the arm. If that thing could cut through armor and bone in a single swing, her shield would not survive. Gun muzzle shoved between two plates, she unloaded half her magazine straight into the creature's body, purple blood splashing onto her armor with a hiss.

Dropping her gun, she drew her dagger, slamming it into the joint just below the mantis like claw. Foot against the things chest, she ripped it free and spun it around, gripping it as though it was a long sword.

All around her, human bodies lay on the ground.

On either side of her, a five creatures stared back at her. Each one was a head taller than her, thick heavy plates like a spiderant king and with the same basic body shape and legs, but with a torso that was vaguely human. Plated, mantis claws with arms and the face of a spiderant, their eyes glowed an eridium purple.

Spiderants then, ones that had been touched by the Grimm.

Her grip tightened on her makeshift sword as silence descended. Half a shuffle forward, already anticipating the lunge from the creature as she easily parried and slipped to the left, shield slamming into its face. Her right arm came up, claw in hand as she spun slicing its head clean off as she dashed past. Turning around, she faced the three remaining creatures, no longer pincered between the two grounds.

The ambush was good, but they were still animals.

She slowly backed up, pretending to limp as she did so and just like the animals that they were, they pounced. She kept moving back, dancing out of the way, claw and shield moving in tandem to keep the blades away from her. The corridor narrowed, ceiling dropping lower until only one could get at her at a time.

Heels digging in, she raised her claw, catching the double downward swing on the flat of the blade. Her knees buckled, but she held firm. Shoving up with her all might, she threw the blades to the side, throwing the creature off balance before dashing forward, slamming her shield into the thing's throat with enough force to crack the plating, almost cutting through entirely.

Pyrrha didn't stop though, she kept pushing forward, dragging the entire body with her as she adjusted her grip on her claw, holding it like a lance. She rammed it into the one creature and slammed into the next before crashing into the bend in the claw piercing through all three bodies before embedding itself in the wall, pinning them all three. Stepping back, she ripped both claws off of the nearly headless one before stabbing it through her Grimm kebab.

As the two remaining creatures struggled uselessly, Pyrrha walked towards the corpse of her first kill, retrieving her assault rifle and knife before dragging its body back. Settling down, she watched the last two slowly bleed out while she carved up the corpse. A new set of armor and a sword made from its body parts would be worth a fortune.

And it'd keep her alive.

One thing didn't make sense though, why had they attacked like that? Had they trespassed on their territory, or had something set them off? They were large things, probably able to leap like a spiderant and in a small tunnel system like this? It didn't quite fit.

She tapped her echo device, switching through the various modes on her hud before blinking when she settled on infravision. The entire place was a cool blue except for a trail of red along the floor that stretched well past the battlefield, only to abruptly stop when it got to the bend. Looking up, even the ceiling was coated in the stuff. Climbing onto a boulder, she reached up, running a gloved hand over the ceiling before rubbing her fingers together. Slick, slightly sticky and… the barest hint of a spicy scent. It was like nothing she had come across before, but neither were the creatures.

Jumping down, she picked up her weapons and bent down, examining the tracks she had been following. Fresh and very clear, to the point that she could have probably followed them without her visor. Add on the way the entire place was painted down with the substance, this was totally an ambush.

Heh, it's been a while since she'd walked into one of those. It was almost refreshing.

* * *

The first place they checked had a distinct lack of survivors, but a notable abundance of corpses. A gun fight had clearly taken place, a very one-sided one at that. The people who'd emerged from the pod must have signalled for help, only to be met by bandit technicals that drove around the dented hull, filling it with lead from every angle and making escape impossible. Those who fled inside were then trapped in a contained space when a electric grenade was thrown in.

All their possessions were taken, and the attackers had returned to their home base, satisfied with a good day's wage.

Angel had offered some dull platitudes about what a pity it was over Ruby and Yang's echo devices, confirming Blake's suspicion that they were being tracked through them. When Blake suggested turning the devices off, Yang rolled her eyes in a way that typically indicated annoyance, amusement, or both, while Ruby told Blake to stop being so paranoid.

Which was a strange notion coming from someone who grew up on this world where every rock and crevice could be hiding armed gunmen, assuming that the rock itself wasn't actually just a disguised creature out to consume you. Blake would think that in such an environment, paranoia could be considered a necessity for survival, right alongside water, food, and shelter. When she expressed that opinion, all three of her companions had simply rolled their eyes.

The worst part was Blake didn't even know if that meant they were amused, annoyed, or both.

And now Blake was positive it wasn't just rocks, skags, Grimm, bandits, and mysterious Angels out to get her, but seemingly fate itself. Less than twenty eight hours ago, Cronovich standard time, Blake had betrayed her fellow faunus of the white fang. In order to access the Fast Travel Network she needed to get herself and Weiss to safety, Blake would have to search a heavily defended and even more heavily infested secret tunnel network that was the home base of the exact same group she'd just betrayed for survivors from a ship she helped destroy.

And here she thought the most difficult part would be getting off the ship with Weiss intact.

"Stop here." Blake ordered Ruby as the opening to the caves came in sight. Ruby was driving because Blake didn't want to, and Yang wasn't allowed to.

"Um… why? It's just a cave," said Ruby.

"...This cave is infested with Grimm, it is safe to say we are unlikely to find survivors here."

"Sweet! Let's lure one out, hopefully we'll get Death Stalker, the stingers on those things and the poison sell for so much. Onward my faithful companions, to glory!" yelled Yang.

"No." Blake said flatly, and reached over to pull the handbrake up.

"Pleeeeeeeeeease~"

"If you insist on driving into those caves, it will have to be without Weiss or myself. On a more important note, it is impossible that we find survivors in there, thus we have completed Angel's request. We should return, and inform her all the survivor's were dead by the time we arrived."

"But-"

"Yang, she's got a point and my arm is still injured enough that I can't use Karl," said Ruby.

"Come on, we just go in, take a peek around and then get out if things get hairy! We've gone into way worse situations with way worse information in the past." Yang tapped her echo device. "Yo, Angel, this cave is safe right?"

"Unfortunately, this is far enough away from most civilisation that I don't have a lot of information on it and sadly, bandits don't update the Hyperion network," replied Angel. "However, from what I do know, it is not very dangerous at all."

"See? Safe," said Yang.

Blake hesitated for a moment, before saying, "Either her information is wrong or she's lying to us. I can say this with one hundred percent factual certainty: those caves are not safe."

"This is Pandora, nowhere is safe," replied Yang.

Blake glanced at Yang and Ruby, before settling her gaze on Weiss. Could she tell them? The only thing protecting the Faunus of Pandora being wiped out by Hyperion or Atlas was secrecy. Handsome Jack couldn't drop an army of loader bots on their doorstep if he didn't know where it was.

To reveal that information to humans, let alone a _Schnee_ was…

Did she really have a choice though? If she led Weiss into there, the most she could hope for was the White Fang not realising she'd betrayed them and welcoming her back with open arms and cuffs for Schnee.

"We can't go in there." Blake said firmly.

"Yang, let's just go, if I wasn't injured I would be in there right now, but you don't have any covering fire," said Ruby.

"I'm out voted aren't I?" Yang ran a hand through her hair. "Damn it, I was looking forward to getting some sweet, sweet loot. Grimm fur or carapace is worth a lot, you know."

"Yeah well, ther-"

"Wait," came Angel's voice. "I'm getting a distress signal coming from inside, give me a second to patch into it."

A minute later, a deep baritone voice came over their echo devices, "If there's anybody out there that can hear this, please help. We came in here seeking shelter and I think there's a King and Queen Spiderant outside, a corruptor and a burner I think. If you can hear me, please help, there's five of us here and three kids. Please help!"

"Yang, pass me that pistol," said Ruby as she approached the cave. "And you'll want to go back to your Jackob's shotgun, that incendary one will be useless."

"Hey, I'm not a rookie you know, give me a break. Usual tactic then?"

"Usual tactic, let's do this!"

"Hell yeah!" The two sisters shared a high five as they walked towards the cave.

"Wait!" Blake called. "Don't go in there."

"I have managed to triangulate an approximate location of the distress signal," said Angel. "The amount of rock is messing with my readings so you may have to search around a bit."

"Right, gotcha, doesn't seem too far in." Ruby turned to Blake.

"If you go in there, I will take the car and leave both of you."

"Later then," called Yang with a backwards wave.

"Your sister will die if you let her go in there wounded." Blake warned. "If I can smell her blood from here, others will too."

They simply ignored her and disappeared into the cave, echo device lighting the way. Blake stared after them for a moment, before deciding to make good on her promise to leave. Hopping into the driver's side, she reached for the ignition only to find the keys missing. Then there was a flash of white, and Weiss jumped out of the car. The Schnee heiress sprinted for the cave entrance as fast as she could with both hands behind her back.

As she jumped out of the car and chased after her, Blake made two mental notes: _always cuff prisoners to a railing, and learn to hotwire vehicles._

Before she entered the mouth of the cave, she took off her sunglasses and pocketed them. She didn't take the time to let her eyes adjust to the shadows, instead relying on scent to lead her to Weiss.

The princess hadn't make it far in. Blake found her tripped over and sprawled onto her face, slowly rising without her hands to help her up. Weiss was grunting curses through her gag, and while she wasn't extremely loud doing it, in the empty confines of the cave where the sounds echoed off the walls without end, the soft sounds she was making seemed impossibly loud.

"Be quiet." Blake hissed lowly, dragging Weiss to her feet. "There are predators in here that track by scent and sound, and you will not be able to fight them restricted as you are."

Weiss gave an annoyed groan, but shut up when Blake's fingers dug into her shoulder.

"You need to be silent." Blake stressed, before leading them through the dark towards Yang and Ruby's scent.

Her eyes soon adjusted to the dark, and she found the two of them slowly easing forward, constantly sweeping the area, guns at the ready.

"You two." She said as she approached, using a deeper register to speak than she normally would. High pitched sounds like whispering actually carried further than just speaking in a quieter voice, and lower sounds traveled shorter still. "We need to leave immediately."

"We're almost there," hissed Yang, "just stay silent and come on."

"Ruby is injured. Many Fau-" Blake cut herself off. She wasn't going to able to stop the two without killing them, and she was unwilling to do that. "Very well, we'll compromise. Ruby will take Weiss to the technical, and then drive it to a distance of five miles while Yang and I locate the survivors."

"Had worse," muttered Ruby. "And why'd you bring her along? She's just going to get in the way."

"She tried to run away." Blake answered shortly, growing frustrated. "And it doesn't matter if you've had worse, you reek of blood and all you can do is give away our position. The compromise I suggested is very reasonable and is less likely to get all four of us killed than entering this cave with two incapacitated individuals in our group."

"Ruby, listen to her, we don't know what's in here and Bastion is close by, who knows what manner of Grimm infested things roam here."

"But Yang!"

Blake flinched at the loud whine. "Be more quiet." She growled.

"I'll be fine," hissed Ruby. "Especially since I can handle myself."

"I know you can, bu-"

"But nothing." Ruby glared at Blake.

Blake knew that among humans the appropriate response to enormous amounts of frustration was to scream, start an argument, or let their rage out by attacking something nearby, not necessarily related to the cause of their frustration. All three of these options fell under the broad category of tantrum, and were generally considered very childish.

Having stopped being a child for quite a while now, Blake unclenched her fist and stepped into Ruby's path. _Reason. Human's can be reasoned with._ She reminded herself. _Occasionally._

"Ruby, please stop and think about this. No one here is questioning your capability, so if you find my suggestion that you stop getting in your sister's way offensive, I apologise. If you do not understand my motivation, then let me explain that more important to me than anything else right now is insuring the survival of the member's of this group. When I ask you to go to the car and take Weiss with you, it is because I am trying to help you, I am trying to help Yang, and I am trying to help myself."

She paused before continuing, "Currently, you are a liability. Do you understand?"

"Fine, whatever," spat Ruby as she grabbed Weiss and stalked towards the entrance.

"Make sure Weiss doesn't escape." Blake called after her.

Yang placed a hand on Blake's shoulder and shook her head. "Just let her go, she needs some time to cool down and sorry about that by the way, she's used to being the one who calls the shot and well… It's always been the two of us. Just let her take charge and make it feel like she's the one who makes the ultimate decision, but come on, we've got people to rescue."

"First, we'll need to find Spiderant leavings." Blake told her. Wasn't Yang older than Ruby? Didn't leadership typically fall to senior members in the typical human family? Odd. Especially considering Ruby didn't seem particularly intelligent.

"Does it matter, we have a rough location already from Angel," said Yang.

"It will help us approach undetected." Blake answered. "Currently we both smell of sweat and motor fumes. By rubbing the ant leavings over ourselves, we will disguise our scent and as long as we remain silent, be able to pass by the Grimm and Spiderants uncontested."

"Or we could just kill them?"

"...Well, yes we could but the gunfire will signal our approach to the fau-bandits." She corrected herself. "It's an unnecessary risk."

"And we have no idea what's down here," sighed Yang. "Ugh, is it too late to leave now? Actually, don't answer that, Ruby will kill me."

That seemed a harsh thing to kill someone for, though Blake wasn't sure she expected much else from someone who named their weapon and doted on it like a child.

"Come on," she instructed quietly, leading them forward into the darkness.

"It's quiet, too quiet," whispered Yang in her best action hero voice. "It's Grimm hunting season."

All Blake did was glance at her.

"No? Don't know that one either? Hm…" Yang rubbed her chin. "How about, 'Eh, what's up doc?'"

Blake tilted her head. "I never went to medical school."

"I swear, when we get to Opportunity, I'm going to drag you to the movies," sighed Yang. She suddenly held up a hand. "Did you hear that?"

"Did you only just?" Blake tilted her head.

Yang glanced over at Blake and cocked an eyebrow. There was weird and then there was this. She'd have to talk it over with Ruby later, but for now, an eye on their companion would be enough and a loaded gun at the ready.

"Where is it coming from?"

"Presumably from a Skitter corpse."

"Skitter? Never heard of one of those, then again, never been here before either," said Yang as she raised her shotgun. "They dangerous?"

"Extremely. Despite their large size they have a reaction time equivalent to a creature half its size, and its talons only require a little over one pound of pressure per square inch to pierce most steel."

Yang whistled in awe. "Remind me to make a bayonet out of that baby." She glanced down at her echo device. "Says it's to our right."

They looked at the seven tunnels before them, then glanced at the three behind them and that wasn't even counting the one that came in from high up the wall. The glowing 'shrooms helped somewhat as long as you didn't get too close to them. Magic shrooms that spit acid in the most literal sense were not your friends. Even with her echo device keeping track of where they had gone, she still doubted her ability to get back to Ruby.

"Any idea which tunnel it is?" asked Yang.

Blake sniffed once, twice, and then bent down to examine some marks in the mud. After a moment she stood up and headed down the second rightmost tunnel. Okay? At least she looked like she knew where she was going. With a shrug Yang followed, making sure to glance over her shoulder every so often in case something snuck up on them.

As they moved forward the dripping grew louder and louder. Yang was just about to take another step when Blake held up a hand. "Stop." She warned, looking at where Yang was about to stand.

"Wh- Ooooooh, cool!" Yang bent over and picked up the severed arm that she had almost stepped on. "Need a hand?"

Blake tilted her head. "What use would I have for it?"

Yang used the severed arm to facepalm. "You need to get out more."

"That is extremely unhygienic."

"Hey, if it works, it works. So, where's the rest of the body?"

Turning to face the other way, Blake led them forwards just a bit, before reaching into one of her pockets and taking out a small flashlight. "Presumably among these."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn, I wish I was here when this went down." It was hard to tell how many bodies there were thanks to missing heads, more legs than arms and torso that had been cut in half, but the entire floor was coated in a thin layer of blood. Most of the bodies had been cut clean in half through the torso in a single slice and one guy's head had been mangled beyond recognition. Or maybe it was a girl, it was kinda hard to tell through the half chewed mess. What really took her breath away though, was the three creatures impaled against the far wall by one of their own wicked looking claws. Straight through the torso into the stone wall. Walking over, she grabbed the claw, put one foot to the wall and pulled.

It didn't budge.

"Okay, screw that, I want to talk to whoever did that!" She stepped back, playfully using the impaled corpse as a boxing dummy. "And by talk I mean fight and by fight I mean kick their ass to Solaris and back."

"These men are Hyperion." Blake said from where she was crouched by a lumpy pile of flesh. Reaching into it, she removed a black and gold paulron with a large 'H' emblem. "They might be the survivors Angel wanted us to track down."

"The recording mentioned something about kids." Yang glanced down at her echo device, scrolling through the various menus. "This is within the search area and if these skitters took out this many Hyperion troops, I think we can back out. But not before we looting!"

"Looting is important." Blake agreed. still searching through the bloody remains. "I see no signs of children having been here."

"Perhaps they went after the survivors like us," said Yang as she pocketed some bullets and two grenades. "Any of the weapon serviceable? Ruby may be able to strip them for parts."

Together they found a few intact submachine guns, several pistols and a sniper rifle. "I don't think so." Blake contradicted Yang's suggestion after a moment of thinking. "These men don't seem like a search and rescue team. Though I'm not sure Hyperion even has standardized search and rescue units."

"Well somebody survived." Yang pointed at the bloody footsteps. "We should at least check that out."

"...Agreed."

"Shame I don't have a knife to carve off one of their blades," sighed Yang as she began moving forward. "Let me know if you hear anything with that freaking thing of yours."

Blake tilted her head at Yang, before stepping around and moving ahead in front of her. "It is always unwise to leave home without a knife." She said as she offered one to Yang.

"Sweet!" She turned back, grabbing of the corpses of the skitters on the ground and began slicing through a forelimb. "Time to get a bayonet on my shotty."

"I don't carry any adhesive strips." Blake watched her with some interest. "I will not be able to help you fix the claw to your barrel."

"Don't worry about it, I'll just carry it for now," said Yang as she slung the limb over her shoulder. "Lead the way, oh fearless leader!"

"I experience fear." Blake held out her hand. "My knife, please."

Yang opened her mouth, only to close it again as she handed back the knife.

Blake slid the blade back into a sheath on her belt, and then continued forwards through the cave. She was almost as weird as Crazy Earl. Almost. Together, they moved down the tunnel, weapons at the ready, a soft skittering sound echoing through the cave.

"Is that why they're called skitters? That sound they make?" whispered Yang.

"Yes. Their vision is limited, but their hearing and smell are excellent. If you find any of their fecal matter, rub it into your skin and clothes. It will disguise your scent. Their bile would be better."

Something very sharp pressed itself against the back of Yang's neck. "Personally, I find their blood to work perfectly fine," said a voice.

Blake startled, spinning around with her machine pistol raised. She hesitated when she saw Yang being held hostage. After a moment she asked, "Are you the survivor?" without lowering her gun.

"Yes. I'm curious why you two are here," she said, easing the blade over Yang's throat.

"We're looking for survivors from the Hindentanic."

"And it's just you two?"

"And two others waiting at our vehicle," said Yang. "Look, I'm as much of a fan of a good hostage scenario as the next person, but that thing is kinda really sharp and kinda really scary."

All of a sudden Yang was spun around, a pair of green eyes staring straight into hers before she was suddenly released. "I apologise, being in here has left me… on edge."

"I would advise you to leave even if that weren't the case." Blake suggested.

"This place is a maze and unfortunately, my echo device was ruined in a scuffle," she replied with a shrug.

"Yang, if you were to give her your echo device containing the information on the way we came, I'm confident I could lead us out of here without it."

"Must we? I was hoping to fight one of those skitters," said Yang.

"We can continue ahead without her."

"If you're continuing on, I'm following," said the lady.

"...I find this disagreeable." Blake said after a moment. "I would strongly prefer it if we were to part ways, Miss Nikos."

"As would I, _fau_-"

"Oh. My. God!" Yang hopped from foot to foot. "It's Nikos! Pyrrha Nikos! Wait till Ruby hears about you. About you!" Yang grabbed Blake's arm, tugging at her sleeve. "It's Pyrrha Nikos, Blake. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeehehehehe!"

"Um… yes… hi, I'm Pyrrha Nikos." She glanced over at Blake. "But as I was saying, I wouldn't be alive if I didn't make unusual friends and I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt."

Blake tilted her head. "I would hardly qualify Yang as a typical human, so I agree with the sentiment of being willing to make friends with those who fall outside normal standards of behaviour. That said, I would strongly prefer it if we were to part ways."

"Come on Blake, it's Pyrrha Nikos!"

"Exactly my point of contention."

"You said it was dangerous and if it's dangerous, who better to help us then a tried and true Vault Hunter!" finished Yang.

"I find it difficult to think of someone who is more liable to shoot us on the first offer of currency."

"My vault hunting days are behind me," she replied simply.

"Instead you are currently employed by Hyperion, a corporation who is currently conducting experimentation on Faunus, actively hunting Faunus on the surface of Pandora, and farming Faunus by purchasing orphanages and exposing the children within to the Mark of the Grimm."

"There's evidence that being marked is dangerous. Handsome Jack wishes to understand it better and I wish to help correct the world that I messed up."

Blake was silent for a moment. "If the mark is dangerous, then there is less reason for you to travel with me. On another note, I do not feel that I am in need of correcting."

"I just killed five monsters that I can only assume were once spiderants, but since have been marked. A single marked human will not be an issue, I assure you," said Pyrrha.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're a faunus? Damn, why didn't you tell me? Cool vision? Or is it smell, or hearing? Oh! Oh! I know, super cool kung-fu moves, right?" Yang suddenly spun on Pyrrha. "Oh man, imagine if you were marked. I bet you'd be able to take down the Guardian with your eyes closed!"

"All of my senses are superior to a humans." Blake looked over at Yang. "And I did not tell you that for the same reasons you didn't tell me you were a human when we met."

"Or it's because she did not want you to know," said Pyrrha. "I'm looking for someone who I assume has been kidnapped by the faunus."

Blake looked across at her, but didn't say anything.

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" asked Pyrrha as her hand shifted onto her makeshift sword.

"No." Blake stared straight at her, face impassive. "Earlier today, we encountered several humans murdered by members of the human Blood Humpers bandit clan. Would you happen to know anything about them?"

"No." The two stared at each other before Pyrrha began backing up slowly. "Very well, if I am not needed, I will continue searching. The tire tracks lead into this cave system so I assume they are still here since I found their vehicle a while back. If all else fails, I can call in a couple Hyperion moonshots."

"I'm unsure why you would inform me of this," was Blake's only reply.

All she got was a mysterious smile as Pyrrha turned and walked away.

Blake watched her go, and waited for her footsteps to fade from hearing before lowering her gun. "I would like to leave soon."

"That was Pyrrha," whispered Yang. "Eeeeeeeeeeehehehehehehe."

"Our conversation went for too long. We should leave before we are attacked."

"Damn it, I should have gotten her to sign my shotgun."

"Can we leave now, or do you still intend to hunt for Skitters?"

"Hey, she's leaving right? Come on, if we go back to the entrance, we may catch up to her!" Yang grabbed her loot and shotgun and ran back the way they had come. After a few moments, she heard Blake following along behind her.

By the time they got back to their vehicle, the sun was just past midday and Pyrrha was nowhere in sight. Yang immediately jump into the vehicle, yelling, "Ruby! Guess who I met? Pyrrha. _The_ Pyrrha Nikos!"

"What!? You're lying." Ruby turned to Blake. "She's lying right?"

"Unfortunately, no." Blake replied, climbing into the back seat and inspecting Weiss.

"What! That's it, I'm never leaving you alone again. That's so not fair." Ruby glared at Yang. "Is any of that loot for me, at least?"

"Nope! Also, can you make this into a bayonet for my shotgun?" asked Yang as she dropped the severed claw at her feet.

"If you can get it whittled down to being a bayonet shape, I could probably attach it? But I don't know how to carve that thing."

"Sweet!"

"Hey, what are-" Weiss's voice was cut off by gurgling. When they turned around, they saw Blake had removed Weiss's bandage and had shoved her canteen into Weiss's mouth.

Blake glanced over at them. "She seemed dehydrated."

"Well try not to drown her," said Ruby as she went through the rest of the loot.

"Are you trying to drown me?!" Weiss shrieked when Blake removed the bottle.

"No." Blake answered before re-applying the gag. Then as an added measure she tied a bag over Weiss's head.

"If she was, you would already be drowned," added Yang.

Blake stood and turned to face the sisters. "I would ask you two to avoid mentioning who it is under this bag to anyone else from now on."

"Your kidnapping," said Yang with a shrug as her echo device beeped.

"How was it? Did you find them?" asked Angel.

"Sorry, nothing. Just some dead Hyperion guys," said Yang with a shrug.

"Hyperion? What are they doing here?" asked Angel.

"Who knows?"

"Who cares!" added Ruby. "Let's get back to the place with the guys and Yang can fill everyone in. No point in wasting daylight."


	4. Sudden but inevitable betrayal

"Damn, it's nice to be back home," sighed Ruby as she stretched, cracking her knuckles in the process. "And the doc did real nice on my arm too. Yo Yang, whatcha want for dinner?"

"Eh, whatever, I'm not fussy." They approached the run down one story house with it's flakey walls and blocked pipes. It wasn't pretty, in fact, it was on the outskirts of Opportunity, but it was home. "Looks like the snobbish neighbours moved out too."

"Finally, that lady was a real bitch."

"Ruby!"

"What? It's true you know," said Ruby as she glanced over at their neighbor's house with the oh so amazing four stories with a garden maze and fountain that spewed liquid rainbows like the pansies they were. That wasn't even mentioning the tennis court they had or the garage that was the size of a house. "But seriously, didn't we say we were going to blow the house up?"

"Yeah, we can do that tomorrow." There was a squeak as Yang kicked a rat that had scurried out of the pile of metal scrap on their front lawn. "But I thought it was the other neighbour we were going to blow up."

Both of them glanced to their left at the five story, triple fountain, fruit garden on the roof house looked more like a miniature mansion than anything else.

"Eh, no reason we can't do both," said Ruby as she fished for the keys in her pocket. "Yang, you got the keys?"

"Um…" Yang went through each of her pockets. "Nope! I thought you had them."

"Pretty certain it was you. Oh well." With a shrug, Ruby slammed the butt of her rifle into the window before climbing through and unlocking the door. "Done and done."

"Ruby?" Yang pointed at the window on the other side of the door. The one that was still broken from the last time they had forgotten their keys.

"Eh, whatever."

The door was kicked shut, the pile of junk was thrown off the dining room table and their new loot was tossed on top of it. As Ruby began sorting through everything, Yang made her way into the kitchen, waltzing past the pile of dishes that had begun to gain sentience and opening the fridge before blinking at the frozen decapitated head.

"Oh right, new fridge." Closing the door, she opening the lower door and took out a six pack of beer before making her way back to Ruby, passing her a can. "Also, we've still got the head of what's-his-name for that guy out in the wilds. Probably should turn that in at some point."

"Doctor Franks? Yeah, probably. We can do that the next time we head out in that direction. It was a pistol right?"

"Tediore pistol, yeah."

"Meh, we can sell it for five hundred or something. Oooooh, is this a Vladof barrel I see and a Hyperion stabiliser from a sniper? Oh Yang, you always know what I want for Christmas."

"Anything in there for me?" asked Yang as she sat down, throwing her legs on the table.

"Bits and pieces, I can definitely upgrade our guns with this. Do we have any messages on the machine?"

"Dunno, lemme check." Yang looked around the room at the various holes in the walls and ceiling, the mass of trophies of dead things on the wall, the rats scurrying around and their dead pet varkid. "Where did we put the machine again?"

"On the floor."

Yang looked down.

"I think the mould on the floor is alive and it ate our phone."

"Oh stop being silly, it's fi- Huh." Ruby stared at the green thing that had grown up and over the scraps of metal, spare gun parts and the skeletal remains of a cat. "When did we own a cat?"

"Nibbles? So that's where she went. Oh! Here's the machine." Yang scraped the moss off their answering machine and pushed a button.

"You have three messages," came the mechanical reply. "Message one, received on the eighth of the eleventh, at two zero five zero."

"You fucking bitches…" Someone slurred drunkenly. "You twos is… is… yous is both just… fuckin… if I ever see your asses again, I'm gonna shoot em! That's what I'll do! I'll shoot you both you pair of… goddamn psychos is what you are! You know that? Psychos!" Then the voice hiccupped. "I know he was a bandit, but you didn't have to kill my brother you knows!" There was a tone as it hung up.

"Message two," the inoffensively artificial voice continued. "Received on the ninth of the eleventh, at zero nine one three."

"Hello?" The same voice as the previous message said. "Anyone there? No? Okay, well, uhh... I just wanted to apologise to you two for uh… drunk dialing you two. I'm not sure what I said, but I'm pretty sure it, uh, wasn't the nicest. We just had my brother's funeral via explosion, you know, that guy who's head you cut off and then refused to return? Anyway, I had a few drinks and uh… sorry again. You two both deserve to know I think you're excellent bounty hunters, and I don't really blame you for my brother's death. I mean, it'd be nice if you gave his head back, but… anyway. Uh… that's it I guess. Bye."

"Message three, received on the second of the twelfth, at one nine one two."

"Hey, it's uh, me again. Sorry to leave all these messages, but… um… I was in a bounty office today, and I noticed the death warrant for my brother's still open… which means you guys didn't hand his head in yet, right? So I was wondering if, you know, you were still planning on doing that? If not, maybe you can give it back to me so I can blow it up with the rest of his body? If that doesn't work either I understand, just uh, don't hunt me down or anything. Um… bye."

"You have no more messages."

"Huh, maybe we should give him back the head," said Ruby.

"But the money!"

"It'll make us feel good inside?"

The two sisters exchanged a look before bursting out laughing.

Five minutes later, they finally caught their breath and settled back down. "Think you can cook dinner? I wanna get start on upgrading Karl."

"Sure, just let me find Peter and see if he wants any of these things and maybe if he turn the claw into a bayonet," said Yang before glancing down at everything on the floor. "And see if I can sell some of this junk."

"Let me sort through it and we can sell it tomorrow," said Ruby as she dragged a rug full of weapons and their parts towards the basement.

Yang looked down at the piles and piles of scrap metal on the ground before muttering to herself, "That's what you said last time we were home."

With a shrug and shake of her head, she grabbed her shotgun, the chitter parts and double checked her wallet before heading out through the door. She ignored the snotty looks, the incredulous looks and the leery grins from guys who had never done any hard work in their life, and instead made a beeline for the market district. Usually it was packed with people looking for new jewellery or some way to say 'I make more money than you!' without actually saying it, but today it was oddly empty. No need to rub elbows with some Hyperion exec or some trillionaire - whatever the number was up to this time. It was just… empty.

Yang looked around and blinked, watching in amusement as they went out of their way to avoid her. The elevator doors would open and then they'd all run out, nose stuck up into the air with a look of disgust on their faces. Whatever, it meant more elbow space for her. Leaning against the cool glass, she gazed out over the sea and setting sun as she slowly descended down the mountain side. As the door slid open, the crowd waiting for the elevator parted before her as though Handsome Jack was standing right behind her.

A check behind her revealed Handsome Jack was most certainly not behind her.

Hm… Whatever, if they wanted to treat her like royalty, then so be it, Yang wasn't about to complain. As a result, what would have taken at least an hour took a mere ten minutes before she was standing before Kicking and Screeching. The door slid open and Yang stepped through, grinning at the massive stuffed skag that stood dead centre of room.

"Hey! You stuffed Sir Bonsy like we asked you to!" Yang walked around it, her grin only getting wider. "And there's that massive hole I blew in its side before slamming my fist through it, you can barely see it, how'd you manage that?"

"Oh, I simply found and killed a rakk with similarly textured skin!" Peter smiled, or at least Yang thought he smiled. His mouth was covered by his massive handlebar moustache, but his eyes crinkled and his facial hair seemed to glow with positivity for a moment. "Had to hunt down about a thousand of the blighters, but I do take pride in my work. Didn't hurt my own taxidermy collection either!" His belly wobbled as he laughed. He sniffed deeply, before giving Yang a an appraising look. "Hunting Spiderants, were we?"

"Nope!" Yang walked over and tossed her prize onto the counter. "Got there after the party, but picked up a prize. Grimm marked spiderants and from what I've heard, nasty pieces of work. Look at these claws! Sliced through high grade Hyperion armor like cheese and I want a bayonet out of it."

"Oh, marked were they?" He sighed. "I remember Pandora before all that Grimm hullabaloo. Suddenly it's not enough for a skag to be a skag anymore, but now it has to be bipedal and have four arms." He picked up the claws and examined them. "Why, who could forget the Giant Skags? Now those were a challenge fit for a true hunter! None of those pack tactics, just a giant mess of scales, teeth, and laser beams! Pity they're all extinct now." After a moment of examining the claw, he looked up at Yang. "Are you sure this cuts like you said? It seems rather frail."

"Test it out for yourself."

With a shrug, he stabbed it into the counter, only for it to sink through to the joint seemingly without resistance. His eyes wide, he stared at the claw as he pulled it out. "Now that is rather impressive, I admit. Skatters you called them?"

"That's what Blake called them." Yang shrugged. "Also, it was waaaaay better earlier today."

"I would have liked to have seen it then," he mused. "Alright, I'll see if I can shape this for you. I'm not sure about the material, so I won't be able to guess a price for you until I have a bill."

"Hey now, I ain't swimming in money so give me a rough estimate."

"Herm…." He studied it for a moment, before shrugging. "Upwards of five thousand dollars, I should say. No more than twenty thousand."

"Three to five thousand," said Yang.

"Afraid not, my dear." He smiled at her. "Three thousand doesn't even cover the cost of the counter, I just so foolishly ruined. Because you and your sister are sweet hearts… I'll be willing to set the maximum price at fifteen thousand."

"I'm not paying for the counter, you damage that yourself. Maximum seven thousand."

"Now, I'm not blaming you for that my dear, but I still don't even know if my grinder can shape this, or if I'll need to replace another wheel on the thing just by touching the two together… Thirteen thousand. If that's too high for you than I'm afraid I can't help you."

"Why don't you test it with a knife first?"

Peter sighed. "...Twelve thousand maximum, six thousand minimum."

"Not taking that. For all I know, you can whittle it with a knife and it'd be done."

"If you want to try whittling it with your knife, by all means." He replied calmly. "Otherwise, that's the absolute best price I can offer you."

"Fine, you're loss." Yang picked up the limb and slung it over her shoulder.

"Have a nice day, then." He smiled pleasantly.

All the response he got was Yang kicking open the door and stepping back out, glaring at some guy who had stopped to stare at her. "What, got a problem with me?"

He just blinked before sneering and moving on.

She ran a finger along the grip of her gun, eyeing the back of the guy's head before a growl from her stomach made her look down. "Alright, alright, I'll feed you, geez. Should probably buy something for Ruby as well now that I think about it. Hm…"

Once more the crowd parted for her as she made her way back to the elevators and she couldn't help but grin. "Damn, a girl could get used to this."

As much as she wanted to go into one of those fancy restaurants just to see how they would react, she ended up going to their old favourite the Slurp'n'Burp. Kinda fitting since their only good dish was poached spiderant with some fancy red wine thingie-ma-gig and a cute little umbrella.

She would have kicked down the door, she really would have, except for one thing. It was an automatic door. That meant there was one thing and only one thing that was to be done. She slammed her shotgun onto the bar and yelled, "Yo chief, give me a martini, on the rocks!"

"Um… we don't serv-"

"Yang!" A blonde girl poked her head out. "You're back."

"From outer space."

"With that same look on your face."

"I should've made you thro-"

"Wait, wait, wait, are you two quoting a song?" The bartender looked between the two of them. "You don't pay me enough for this."

"You _pay_ her? What is this, you never paid me!" said Yang.

"You also got drunk while on the cloeveryday. If anything you owe me money."

"Technicalities," waved Yang. "So you gonna take my money or not?"

"The usual?"

"Yep." Yang tossed over two hundred. "You would not believe the crap we had to eat up on the space station."

"You mean fancy food that actually tastes good?"

"More like servings that couldn't feed a rat."

"I've seen the rats at your place and those things are more like skags." Alison shuddered. "Just gimme two shakes and I'll have it done. And don't break anything this time."

"Yes ma'am!"

With a chuckle and roll of her eyes, Alison went back into the kitchen, her voice easily carrying as she yelled out some instructions to her minutes later and two steaming bowls were placed before her, smelling slightly smoky with the barest hint of lemon and red wine. Already her stomach was growling louder than ever as she lifted the lid to take a deep whiff before securing the lid once more.

"Thanks babe, you're the best." With her skitter claw over one shoulder, food over the other, Yang made her way back out. "See ya Alison, see ya lady I don't know."

"Just get out and take a bath already!" yelled Alison as the door slid close.

The way back was just as quick and painless, and soon she was sitting down in the comfiness of her own home, napkin tied around her neck as the smell of roadkill filled the air. It was chewy, it was tangy and it tasted of smoke and oranges and hints of citrus. The noodles were also a bonus and Yang found herself lying back, hand resting on her belly as she gave a loud burp.

"Yo, Ruby, get up here, I've got fo-" Yang blinked and stared at the spot where Ruby's bowl had been. A second later there was burst of wind and an the bowl was placed back on the table, swaying slightly and completely empty. "-od. Right. Also, Peter was being a bitch, gonna need to find someone else to shape the claw."

Silence.

With a sigh, Yang tossed the rubbish into the overflowing bin before descending into Ruby's lair. Surprisingly, it was clean, the floor was actually visible and there were containers that were actually being used to hold what the labels said. The large wooden table in the middle had Karl laid out on it and about five different disassembled guns around it.

"So… whatcha working on?"

"Busy."

"I'm just cu-"

"Busy, come back tomorrow morning."

"Come o-"

"Busy, need to focus."

With a groan, Yang rubbed her temples. "Alright, alright, but I wanna hear all about it tomorrow morning. And remember to sleep."

"Sleep is for the weak!"

"Ruby," warned Yang.

"Yeah, yeah, sleep, eat, got it, whatev's."

Yang simply sighed and walked back out. It was better than what she normally got at least. Now, to hit up some old friends, visit some bars, and see if she could find some fun.

* * *

The store smelled of old paper and dust, which Blake found quite pleasant. Pandora's main continent was not a nice place by any stretch of the imagination. Dominated by deserts, giant skeletons and surrounded on all sides by alkaline oceans, the only reason anyone lived there was because Dahl originally chose to settle closest to the planet's largest and most valuable ore deposits.

Having grown up in the area, Blake had learned to enjoy the small things while you can. So she took a moment to linger in the second hand book store's doorway and soak in the peace. It had been a trying couple of days after all, having driven through all of last night and been involved in no less than thirteen separate gun fights since boarding the Hindentanic.

After a moment, Blake walked to the counter were a bored looking and morbidly obese man glanced up at her. "What?"

"I'm looking for a book on automotive theft."

He just looked back down at the novel he was reading. "Try the For Dummies section."

"Thank you." Blake told him, even though he ignored it.

It wasn't long until she found it, a yellow and black book with a cartoon on the front of a man in a raider mask trying to open a car with a buzz axe. 'GRAND THEFT AUTO FOR DUMMIES' was printed across the spine in capital letters.

After paying the man, Blake left the shop reading it with one hand as she pushed a trolley with the other. A couple of people gave her odd looks, but this was still Pandora and no one so much as crossed the street to ask about why she was pushing around bound, trussed, gagged woman with a bag over her head in a shopping trolley.

"Hermemf fer hemph!" Weiss shouted.

"I'm afraid I can't understand you," Blake replied placidly as she turned her page.

"Ih uhhing ae uh!" The heiress replied.

Her last stop before leaving town was a locker right next to the Catch a Ride port. Almost all the storage units had been pried open over the years and the whole row smelled vaguely of urine, but a couple of lockers were still shut and functional. Reaching into one of her pouches, Blake took out a key and opened a locker that had a 'ck' painted over it in brown, while the locker to the left of it had an 'fu'. From within the locker, Blake withdrew a duffle bag before making her way to the catch a ride.

* * *

Four hours later, Blake gently compressed the brakes on her vehicle, and slowly her buggy drew to a stop. Next to her, Weiss jerked forwards against her seat belt harness despite the relatively gentle deceleration. Blake took a moment to stare ahead of them, an involuntary sense of awe coming over her.

Serenity Valley Space Port and Docks was the single largest construction on the surface of Pandora. Built almost three decades ago at the height of Dahl's power, the entire building was four miles across and half a mile high. Built out of no nonsense, erosion resistant concrete and rust proof metal plating, the titanic structure was only dwarfed by the mountains on either side of it. Dahl corporation had intended for this place to be the centre of all their mining operations on Pandora, but was never finished and had been abandoned at the same time Dahl abandoned the planet and its colonists to their fate.

The massive docks that gaped like open holes on either side of the building were intended to be landing places for no less than eight full sized transport vessels, moving millions and millions of tons of valuable ore offworld every week, but were currently left empty. The only Dahl mining ship still on Pandora and still functioning was Sanctuary, which was currently located closer to Pandora's north pole.

Taking one last moment to admire the sight, Blake reached across and removed the bag from Weiss's head.

First Weiss blinked at the sudden light, but then she could only blink in surprise at structure in front of her. It didn't have as much effect on her as it did on Blake, Weiss having grown up in the megacities and urban deca-scapes of Olympus, but it was still the biggest structure she'd seen since arriving here.

What grabbed Weiss's attention though, was when Blake pulled off Weiss's oversized boots. "Aht ah uo ooin?"

Blake didn't answer, and just started packing plastic explosives inside her footwear.

Weiss's eyes practically bugged out of her skull when Blake tried to put them back on her feet. "Oh! Oh eh oh!"

Her resistance didn't help her, and after some struggling Weiss's feet were now in the squishy, stuffed steel capped work shoes.

"I can trigger the explosives remotely. I also have a deadman's switch, so killing me would be against your best interests." Blake told her and stepped out of the car. After a moment's hesitation she turned back to Weiss and added, "Also, the compound I'm using is slightly passed its use by date. I would advise against walking too hard."

Weiss just gave a muffled scream that was equal parts rage and terror.

Blake ignored her, and from within the bag removed a silenced, scoped, Dahl submachine gun, which she hung over her shoulder via its strap. "Come on. It's not far."

Faced with no other choice, lest she have her feet detonated, Weiss followed after her. She walked gingerly, afraid that any step could set off the clay like substance she was wearing.

They moved inside the building, stepping into what was once a lobby but was now some kind of vintage chair collection. All the blue plastic mass produced chairs were lined in an enormous sitting area, and above them a banner proudly proclaiming, "Dahl, the professional gun for the professional merc," still hung. A water cooler sat in every corner, now filled with some kind of gunky black algae or fungus that had dried out and died over the years.

Passing through into the next room, they were greeted by escalators that no longer escalated and more chairs lying in rows. Blake led Weiss up the machines that were basically now nothing but over designed stairs to the second floor of the Serenity Valley Spaceport.

It was there that Weiss and Blake finally found people, to be specific twenty soldiers of the Crimson Lance one grinning man in a casual wear business suit, and a man with glasses and suspenders standing next to him and glancing about as if afraid.

"Miss Belladonna, you're early!" The smiling man called as the two of them approached. "We weren't expecting to see you until this evening."

The Crimson Lance soldiers, who'd been scattered across the room doing things like searching for bugs (both literal insects and recording devices), setting up what looked like a transmitting station and at least two with snipers over their backs who were in the middle of climbing some columns to higher vantage points.

"Mr Skintilt." Blake greeted, taking note of the slight bulge in his coat that was just the right size for an Atlas Revolver. She looked at the soldiers. "I was told the meeting would just be me, you, and your personal bodyguard."

"Well, maybe they're not personal but these men are certainly my bodyguards." He smiled at her.

Blake stared at his face for a moment, and memorized it for future reference. Apparently that was what a fake smiled looked like. "It looks like you were preparing an ambush for me."

"Yes, I can see how you might think that," he looked over his shoulder at where a soldier who had been putting down a tripod for a rotary barreled machine turret was now cradling his rifle and watching Blake warily.

"...I notice you did not deny it." Blake pointed out.

Skintilt shrugged. "What can I say? Business is business, and cutting out unnecessary expenditures is _always_ good business."

Blake nodded. "I understand."

He blinked at that. "You do?"

"I am willing to leave unpaid, if it reduces the risk to my well being."

"That's… very understanding of you." Skintilt smiled.

"I'm very understanding." She replied, monotone.

Weiss tried to say something, but Blake shoved her towards the soldiers. The Heiress staggered forward a few steps.. "You know, you're being very civil about this, it's a very refreshing change of pace." He gestured at one of his guards. "Bring us the tea and three cups. Miss Blake, do you have a preference? Perhaps a meal. It's only fair since you're being so accommodating, makes me feel like I should return the favor."

"As long as you have green tea, and you're willing to taste my tea first."

"Miss Blake, you wound me with such accusations. If anything, I'd give you a proper death, a fast one at that too, unless you have a preference. One guy wished to be immolated, believed in some fire god or something." A guard came into view, carrying a small table while another put a tea kettle and three cups on the table. "Pick any cup you wish."

After a moment of observation, Blake sat down in the chair to the left, and took the cup closest to herself. She held it out, and a soldier came and poured in a fragrant, rich smelling blend which Blake could tell had a hint of lemon.

Before sipping it, she offered it to Skintilt.

He simply took a sip before handing it back. "Like I said, you accommodate me, and I shall return the favor." He poured another cup and handed it towards Weiss before pouring one final cup for himself. "If you had screamed and thrown a tantrum, I can assure you, this would be very different."

"I do not experience the same emotional responses as humans. If I were angry and or afraid, my instinct would not be to scream." Blake explained, lowering her face mask so it draped around her neck and taking a sip. It tasted smooth, strong, and incredibly fresh. Almost like the leaves used in it were grown just minutes ago. "This is the best tea I have ever had."

"Do you wish for one final meal, or shall we get down to business?"

"So you still intend to kill me?" Blake took another drink, and allowed herself a moment to savor it.

"Unfortunately, you know who we are," he sighed. "It's a shame, you seem like a nice girl, but Pandora has a way of getting rid of nice people. No hard feelings."

"I understand." Blake took off her sunglasses, folded them up, and slipped them into her pocket. "If I may, I have two final requests."

"Of course," he inclined his head, but the guards raised their guns, aimed straight at her head.

"I would like to know why you payed me to rescue Weiss Schnee from the White Fang, meaning that you knew about their attack, but did nothing to prevent the attack in the first place. If your goal was to save her life, you could have done so more easily by capturing or killing the White Fang before they boarded the vessel."

"I wished Weiss Schnee to live and frame the White Fang, of course. Unfortunately, the little Princess' father did not wish to pay up so this entire little plan went up in flames." He patted Weiss on the hand. "Sorry you had to find out this way, it would have been nice if your father actually cared, but apparently Atlas means more to him than his little girl."

"I see," Blake finished her tea. "My second question is what you intend to do with Weiss now that her father isn't going to pay ransom?"

"Need to show her father we mean business. Sorry Princess, but that's things work, nothing personal."

Putting the cup down, Blake undid the first two buttons on her shirt. "I'm sad to hear this. You see, I wasn't actually particularly interested in the money when I agreed to rescue Weiss Schnee."

The guards tightened their grip, finger on the trigger.

Blake continued to undo the buttons on her shirt, seemingly not noticing. "The reason I agreed to your offer was because I was growing tired of the White Fang and their collateral damage. The Hindentanic is just one such example of the amount of innocent lives lost in their attacks. My intention was to save Weiss Schnee purely for the sake of saving her, and to return her safely to her parents, while at the same time completely breaking ties with the White Fang."

"That is a shame, my condolences." He raised his hand and the guards shifted ever so slightly.

"I must apologise to you, Weiss." Blake said as she slowly stood up, and unzipped the kevlar jacket she wore under shirt.

Taking the Heiress's hand, she slowly led her away from the table. Blake's tough shoes gently tapping alongside Weiss's bare feet as they moved to stand ten metres away from the table. "I was wrong, this actually is a kidnapping."

Weiss didn't reply, just swallowing fearfully as the two girls turned to face Skintilt and his men.

Blake crossed her arms, pressing her breasts together and exaggerating the lines of her cleavage. The guards glanced over at Skintilt, uncertain over just what was going on and how to proceed.

"Before you kill us, I would like to explain something." Blake said as she slowly reached a hand under her jacket, and grabbed the tiny sensor that she'd stuck there. "I came to this meeting wearing a deadman's switch. Should my heart stop beating, the explosives I had planted on Weiss Schnee's person will detonate."

"I would like to thank you for letting us know, we shall take that into consideration when we kill you."

"You're welcome." Blake nodded at them. "You should also know that the reason I undid my jacket and shirt was because I've been told that most human males find breasts somewhat distracting. This appears to be true, as none of you have noticed that Weiss Schnee is no longer wearing her boots."

They all froze.

Blake gave a gentle tug with her fingers and removed the sensor that was reading her heart beat. The boots which Weiss had quietly taken off while they'd been sitting down exploded violently. Of the twenty soldier's Skintilt had brought with him, twelve were killed instantly, having stood close enough to the table to keep careful watch on Blake while the discussion happened. Skintilt in particular was reduced to a fine paste that looked remarkably similar to what one might find in a jam jar.

Of the eight surviving soldiers, four of them were thrown off their feet by the force of the blast, two were still hanging from the pedestals they'd begun climbing to get to a good sniping position, and two had their vision obscured by a cloud of fine red mist and dust particles that now hung in the air.

Blake, still holding Weiss's hand, immediately dove into cover behind a row of chairs. Pressing the handcuff keys into the Heiress's hands, she swung the Dahl submachine gun off her shoulder, pressed the but against her shoulder and aimed it at the first of the ill positioned snipers. A burst to his chest killed him, and she swung to the barrel around before finishing off the other.

Gun fire started through the cloud hanging in the air, and a chair a row in front of them exploded into blue plastic chips. Blake returned fire through the cloud, even though she didn't really have a target.

Weiss struggled to her feet, handcuffs clattering to the floor. Pulling down her gag she shouted, "I need a gun!"

"On my hip!" Blake answered, and fired another burst.

The cloud dissipated just as Weiss put her hands on Blake's Vladoff machine pistol. Some of the wounded Crimson Lance tried to stand after being thrown down by the explosion, but were cut apart by Blake and Weiss's combined fire.

"Move to a pillar, I'll cover you." Blake said calmly, forcing one of the unharmed Crimson Lance to duck back behind his concrete column with a burst.

Weiss hesitated, before dashing out from behind the chairs and taking position behind one of the massive steel pillars. The soldier to her right ducked out of cover to hose Blake's position with burning ammunition, but Weiss opened fire on him and caught his hand before he managed to pull back into cover. Taking the chance, Blake jumped over the row of seat in front of her and charged up to hide on the other side of his pillar. Awkwardly reaching around the column, she blindly sprayed into him at point blank.

A pink mist of blood burst into the air, Weiss shifted fire to pin down the last soldier. All he could do was hide in place and wait for the heiress to reload. When her gun ran dry, he immediately leaned out of cover to shoot, just in time to see a grenade Blake had taken from the belt of the man she'd killed hit him in the face.

And stick there thanks to the mod on it.

He died much the same way Skintilt did. If he was ever going to receive a funeral, it would have to be closed casket.

Silence rang out, interrupted only by the groan of one of the wounded soldier's who'd survived the explosion but hadn't tried to stand. Without a word, Blake zipped her kevlar vest back up and started to redo her buttons while walking towards him. She finished while she was standing over him, then took out her wire and began to strangle him.

In the corner of Blake's eye, she noticed Weiss approaching, gun at her side. She looked up at the Heiress, and was surprised to see a look on her face she'd never seen on anyone before. Her eyes were unfocused, dim, even while scanning the dead and mangled around them. Her knuckles were white against the gun in her hand, and she seemed to be swaying slightly.

"Wh… what am I supposed to do now?" Weiss asked, swallowing. "My own father's own company tried to kill me, and my father… he… was willing to let me die. I can't go back to that, can I? What am I supposed to do now?"

Blake looked up at her feeling slightly confused herself. Wasn't the answer obvious? Tilting her head to the side, she said, "You collect fifty percent of the loot."


	5. The house that squelched

"I believe I've found him sir. Transmitting coordinates to you now." Jaune leaned back in his chair as he listened to Pyrrha talk to Handsome Jack. "There are grimm infesting the tunnels, the number of loaders I have requested is a rough estimation of the firepower I will need to breach the defenses."

"Huh." Jack said, taking a moment. "So… what happened to those other guys you had with you?"

"They died," was the bland reply.

"Oh, got 'em killed did you? Well, I guess they won't be getting that danger wage, then." Jack chuckled. "So, if I send you these loaders are you gonna get them killed, or disabled or destroyed, since machines can't die, whatever. Are you gonna get these loaders killed too? These thing aren't like the mercs, you know. They actually _cost_ me money when I have to replace 'em."

"I am attempting to rescue the blonde one, the one that makes you the _most_ money," replied Phyrra. "Furthermore, if he is not here, and we clear out a nest of grimm, you can claim publicity credit."

"Publicity with who? The local bandits? Please, those things aren't bothering anyone that matters. What's the local bandit clan there called anyway? Gut Humpers or whatever. Animals. Hmm… Alright, how's this? I'll send you down some survey bots and a couple of loaders, and if those caves come up positive for electronic signals, I'll drop a goddamn armada right on their heads. Does… four hundred loaders sound like enough? I think it does. Just fighting a bunch of those autistic Faunus guys, not like they'll be much of a problem for _you_."

"Well shit." Jaune pushed his chair away from the console and slide across to the other side of the small room. Grabbing the mic, he flicked on the intercom system, feedback blaring over the speakers as he quickly scrambled back. "Attention all faunus, attention all faunus, this is your fearless and handsome leader speaking. Yes, it's me, Jaune, no need to hold back your applause. Seriously. Anyways, turns out the one and only Vault Hunter, Pyrrha Nikos has discovered our little paradise and is preparing to drop four hundred loaders on our head. As much as I love you guys, you're not that good. Heck, I'm the best there is and I'm not that good. So, remember our drills and it's time to get the fuck out of here. Remember kids, stay calm, don't scream, and loot anything that's not tied down. Thank you."

"Hey Jaune? You still listening in?" Jack's voice came out of the headphones, barely audible from across the room.

Fuck.

"Yeah dad, what's up?" Jaune sat back down and deliberately threw his feet onto the console with a bang. And then he realised he forgot to turn the mic and camera on so he did that then threw his feet onto the console a second time.

Jack just smirked. "You think I didn't notice when all that pocket money I gave you disappeared? I'm pretty sure I told you not to spend it all in one place, but uh, there you go, buying yourself a private army of aspergers. Gotta admit, wasn't expecting you do to do that."

"I knew, you knew that I had done that," replied Jaune with a shrug. "Or at least, you think I had done that, but have I really done that? I dunno."

Jack actually burst out laughing. "God, you're so dumb. It's depressing my genes made this." He waved a hand at Jaune. "So, listen, Sonny. I can actually respect a little ambition. It takes some balls to try to do what you're doing, taking me on? It makes sense. Every kid has to try and pull one over their old man. I get it, really I do. So, I'm gonna cut you a deal that you're gonna wanna hear."

"Sure, why not, let's hear it. It'll be amusing at least," said Jaune.

"Okay, tell you what. If you surrender, right now- And I mean now, walk out of that dingy little cave and throw yourself on Pyrrha's mercy, this very minute, I promise that I won't kill your mother."

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh, how about a counter offer? Go fuck yourself."

"Okay, I can respect that." Jack nodded, before turning around in his swivel chair. Putting both hands over his mouth, he called out. "Hey, Blake!"

"Yes, Sir?" The gaunt, sallow man appeared.

"I need you to go to…" Jack took out a notepad and began writing something down. "This address, and pick up a lady named Miss Arc. Then, take her to the moonshot bay, and fire her at…" he glanced at the screen, before finishing writing. "These coordinates."

The man nodded and took the sticky note. "Right away, Sir."

Jack turned back to the screen, and smiled at Jaune.

"Thanks dad, mum was such a bitch."

"Oh, I know right?" He rolled his eyes. "Whenever we did it she'd always fake her orgasm like I actually gave a rats ass if she liked it. Also, son, next time you're trying to seem all… nonchalant and confident, make sure you get that nervous flop sweat under control. And uh, have you got something in your eye, there? 'Cause it kinda looks like you're about to cry." He gave a fond, almost paternal smile. "Greeeeaat talking to you. Peace out."

Then he hung up.

Jaune slumped down into his chest, wiping his brow with a sleeve and frowning. Damn it, that would have been so much cooler if he didn't sweat so much. Either way, he was now officially fucked. Here come the loaders, falling from the sky to rain fiery death on my head. Probably bringing down the mountain with it then Jack would carve his face into it. Whelp, time to go down fighting. He double checked his Jackobs revolver on his hip, the three incendiary cluster grenades, and the hunting knife strapped to his leg. No longer sweating, charming smile back in place and armor polished to perfection.

Taking a deep breath, he walked over to the door and kicked it open.

"Okay everyone, calm down, I'm here now, there's no need to panic." A dozen eyes stared back at him, while even more faunus kept walking at a leisurely pace, carrying various pieces of equipment. "Um… yes… keep doing what it is you're doing. Good job."

He watched as they carried on in their usual monotonous manner before sighing.

"Hey you! Where's Velvet? I need to talk to her."

The Faunus stopped, looking over at Jaune. "She's in the Echo room, talking with our leader." His eyes narrowed artificially. "Why?"

"Didn't you hear? Loaders, here, fiery death, Handsome Jack's face carved into the mountain. Nice chatting to ya, later babe." Charming smile, playful wink and he was gone. Perfect getaway. Now to find Echo room…

Jaune stared at the maze before him.

"It's down the hall, second on the left, then straight ahead and third on the right." One faunus carrying a box of something said as she walked past.

"I knew that!" Jaune followed the instructions, making sure to not bump into any of faunus carrying large crates and after a second of thought, pushed open the door without knocking. "Heeeeeey, don't mind me, just your friendly neighbourhood Hyperion dropping in. How's business, how's life? Got a girlfriend yet? No? That's a shame. So, fiery death, big crater, end of life as we know it and Handsome Jack's face carved into a continent. Suggestions, plans, and solutions. Hit me."

The base commander glanced across at him, but didn't even stop the conversation she was having with some creepy red-head in a mask. "-not all of the air fleet is in working condition, but it will be safer and faster than our road vehicle contingent."

Through the screen, the red-head scratched his chin, before saying, "Ember, if we were to scatter with at least a two kilometre distance between all vehicles, how much of our convoy would Jack be able to target?"

"Oh, that's a tricky one sweetie. Give me a moment…" Ember hmmed to herself, before coming up with an answer, "You'd lose thirty percent right out the gate, buuuut he'd have to realign his gun's further and further for each shot every minute you spend in movement… With your aerialforce, and maybe some decoys to start him shooting in the wrong direction, I predict you'd at worst lose half your forces. That's if Jack's lucky."

Adam nodded. "We have other Faunus elsewhere to make up the numbers, and none of the equipment is particularly valuable. No VIP's of particular note, either."

"Or we could triangulate Pyrrha's original call location, avoid that like the plague, use one of the other exits, preferably coming to the surface as far away from here as possible, toss in some decoys, some more fake recordings or two and bambuzal them into going in the wrong direction," said Jaune.

"Even assuming we do trick them initially, we'll still be moving in a large ground convoy that can be easily spotted and targeted with explosives from orbit." The man dismissed.

"There's something called bandits. You know, those smelly stupid people? We don't need to move everything as well. Kill the bandits, take over their camps, move out slowly."

"You don't have time to move slowly. Pyrrha Nikos with a force of four hundred loaders is about to assault your position within the next hour or two."

"Which is why we trick them initially to get time." Jaune rubbed his temples. "This ain't rocket science, you know."

"Clearly." Adam agreed with a snort. "We don't have time to argue over this. Velvet."

The bunny eared base commander gave a salute.

"Organise everyone into a staggered convey. Your main priority is to make sure no actionable intelligence is left behind. Use a decoy to throw Jack off initially, but don't rely on it. He's canny and ruthless if nothing else." With that the man's video feed cut.

"Seriously, your commander is an idiot," said Jaune.

Velvet looked at him, and said plainly, "Please ask one of my men to escort you to the vehicle bay."

"Just sayin', take over a bunch of bandit camps, stash everything there, slowly convey everything out," said Jaune as he made to leave. "Plus, loader's aren't a threat, I have my own supply, albeit limited. As long as we avoid Pyrrha, we're fine."

"You would put an exhaustible supply of cannon fodder against an inexhaustible supply of the same? Based on the assumption that Pyrrha will be in an hours time exactly where she wa-"

"Pyrrha has had how long to look around this entire mountain complex? Considering for a minute that there are skitter nest right by us. She has found two, maybe three potential entrances, probably less time to survey them all and I know for a fact Hyperion doesn't really have any detailed maps of this place, 'cause if they did, you'd already be dead. Furthermore, all we need to do is make a feint with a small portion of my limited supply. I realise thinking may not be your strong point, but losing a battle to win the war is a sound tactical decision. Not only that, but how long do you think I'll be able to keep the loaders hidden from Handsome Jack? From the entire might of Hyperion? If we never use them, they may be lost before we _can_. It's better than sending men out to get slaughtered for absolutely zero reason."

"We have our orders," Velvet stated evenly. "If you wish to drop your loaders as part of our decoy, than you're welcome to by all means. Otherwise, please go to the vehicle bay and prepare to move out." Then she walked off, not glancing back.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the smartest commander you'll ever meet," said Jaune with a sigh. "Ugh, Ember, you there?"

"I'm here, baby." Came the slightly flirtatious answer. "Just finishing talking to Adam about a big old piece of heh, 'actionable intelligence' that's about to walk right into the City of Opportunity."

"Triangulate Pyrrha's location, overlay with a map of nearby entrances into the cave system, then highlight skitter nests and other dangerous monsters," said Jaune as he eased into the commander's seat, fingers flying over the keyboard. "Cross reference that with places of structural damage where we can cause cave ins. Lets see if we can redirect them towards monsters and slow 'em down a bit."

"I'll get right onto it." Ember chuckled for a moment. "Oh, didn't get a chance to tell you earlier, but I found your ice princess."

"Where?"

"Not sure where she is right now _exactly, _but I've got footage of her making it off the Hindentanic in an escape pod with some new friends. Heh, did you know she has combat training? Girl fights pretty well barefoot and in a formal dress."

"She's a Schnee," said Jaune. "Send the footage to my echo device, we need her so if you could find her quickly, that'd be great."

"Already on it, babe." There was a moment's pause. "The footage should be available... now."

"Thanks, I'll review it later when I'm not working with morons."

"Well I'll talk to you then." There was a click and she hung up.

"Surrounded. By. Idiots." Jaune glanced at his eco device, flicking through the various maps. "Alright, time to plant some explosives."

* * *

Where people staring at her? Weiss was pretty sure people were staring at her.

When she thought about it, she supposed that was fair enough. She doubted anyone who looked like she or Blake did right then usually had much business in the 'centre of civilisation on Pandora', but she still didn't like it.

She was currently armed with no less than three atlas assault rifles, two submachine guns, and a shotgun, her half of the loot collected from the soldiers. Blake had claimed both sniper rifles and a number of regular rifles for herself. Stranger still, Weiss was barefoot, none of the soldier's shoes being in her size or close enough to it that she didn't trip over herself while walking.

She huffed a sigh, glancing at her saviour/captor's back as she led the two of them through the city.

Blake was not Weiss's favourite person. Not by a long shot. In fact, Weiss was pretty sure she hated Blake, but it was undeniable that the Faunus had saved her life, even if she was partly responsible for putting it in danger in the first place.

Though her experience as a hostage had been _horrible_.

Weiss would demand recompense.

For now though, she just wanted a safe bed to sleep in, and Yang and Ruby's would have to do.

Blake found the address she'd written down, and approached the door. There was a doorbell, but it looked like someone had crushed it with hammer or maybe a particularly strong fist.

When Blake knocked, the door fell over, hitting the ground with a dull thud. A second later, Yang's voice floated across, "Come in!"

Weiss glanced at the steel door frame, then down at the thick plated door itself. _They actually would have had to remove the door's hinges for that to happen._ There was no way they rotted off in Opportunity of all places.

Blake didn't really react beyond waiting for the dust to settle before stepping over the threshold. Weiss followed along a few steps behind her, faintly disturbed by the way the ground felt sticky beneath the coating of dust. In the lounge room, they founddishware piled up on the table, a broken television, the skeleton of a dead cat with a miniature assault rifle and no person in sight.

Movement in the corner of the room caught both of their eyes, and what looked like an upturned bowl crawled across the ground towards them, mewling.

Blake snapped her pistol out of its holster and shot it.

Weiss made a promise to but herself shoes. Good, protective, hygienic shoes and that she would wash her feet _thoroughly _before putting them on.

In the background Weiss could hear an irregular thumping sound, and Blake led the two of them through the apartment towards it. Passing through a doorway that to Weiss smelled faintly of rotting meat, they came to a stop in what was easily the cleanest room of the house so far.

That's not to say it was actually livable, but there weren't insects skittering over most surfaces, nor were there food stains that seemed to writhe almost imperceptibly. In the middle of the room hung a worn looking boxing bag, which was the source of the thumping noise as they found Yang punching it and kicking it in what Weiss noticed as a slightly more nuanced kick boxing style than most gyms across the galaxy would teach.

Yang glanced over at them and came to a stop, stretched out her limbs slowly. "Hey! You're no longer kidnapped, deal fell through I take it? Yeah, you get used to that. There's no food in the fridge and I'm pretty certain the water pipes are bust too. We've got cash though! Some of those gun parts were apparently super nice or something."

Blake looked around. "Do you pay for use of this place?"

"Nope! Won it in a poker match."

Blake tilted her head. "Are you sure you won?"

Yang rolled her eyes. "But yeah, make yourselves at home, Ruby is finishing up her whatever so she'll be up later, if you need anything, just ask."

Weiss grimaced at the idea of making herself at home, and swore to get herself a hotel room because this was simply not fit living conditions. "Um… do you have an echo console, or did that… crawl off?"

"Yep! Ask Ruby, it's in her workshop. Downstairs, in the basement, don't open any magazines, seriously."

"...I'm hesitant to ask why."

"Then don't ask." Her foot slammed into the bag. "Anything else?"

Weiss gave a huff of disgust, before gingerly making her way out of the room.

Behind herself, she overhead Blake saying, "I have to decline your offer to stay here. Weiss and I will rent a hotel for the duration of our-"

Weiss didn't hear the rest as she passed down the stairs, but didn't mind overly much because she was sure Blake's feeling mirrored her own on the matter. The basement wasn't anywhere near as disgusting at the living room, lacking the congealed foodstuffs and undocumented life forms, but it was still a cluttered mess of discarded mechanical parts, metal shavings and wood chippings. Almost all of the more complex machinery seemed to be dumped in piles in the corners, and in a shocking display of poor firearm safety, there was a giant stack of filled magazines left right next to what looked like a soldering iron.

Shivering that anyone could live or work like this, Weiss stopped on the bottom step. The floor was a mess of rusty screws, splinters and disturbingly, several used hypos. There was no way Weiss was venturing across that mess barefoot.

"Ruby?!" She called, not really able to see past the stacks of shelves. "Are you here?"

"Yo!" came her voice from… somewhere.

"I need to use your echo console, but I don't have any, uh, shoes right now."

"By the door on the wall."

"Which door?"

"Living room door."

Grimacing at having to move through the biohazard zone, Weiss turned around and headed back up stairs. She found the console where Ruby had said it was, although there was a large mass of pizza boxes stacked in front of it. She shifted the boxes with the barrel of her gone, and her stomach lurched at the fleshy squelch they made when they hit the floor.

Dialing in the her the number of her father's secretary, and the wiping the grease that had coated the buttons off her fingers, she waited for someone to pick up on the other end.

A brown haired, blue eyed woman answered. "Mr Schnee's office, how can I help you?"

"Can you connect me to my father?" Weiss frowned at her through the screen.

She blinked. "Oh, yes. Right away Miss Schnee."

The screen went blank except for the Atlas corporation logo, while an inoffensive song played. She was on hold for a little over a minute, before her father answered.

"Ah, Weiss, I was so afraid when I got news of your kidnapping, but I knew my girl could handle herself," her father said as he leaned back in his plush chair.

"Is that why you didn't agree to pay ransom?" Weiss snapped, sounding a little more caustic than she'd intended. A _little._

"What?" His eyes widened and his hand went to his heart. "Weiss, darling, I paid the ransom! All three million of it, did they try to kill you? Did they harm you? Those ruffians, I knew I should never have trusted them, but my heart couldn't bare the thought of you being all alone on Pandora. Afraid, and scared."

The part that hurt the most, was that Weiss knew her father was an excellent liar. It's just that this time it didn't seem like he could be bothered even trying to make her believe him. "I know they weren't just asking for money, Father. Skintilt was already a billionaire."

"I do not know who was pulling the strings or what they were after Princess, I only dealt with those filthy bandits."

Weiss frowned. "What bandits? Blake was working with the Crimson Lance."

"I do not know, they didn't wear anything obvious," he replied with a shrug. "But enough talk about all that horribleness, I'm just glad you're safe and sound."

Weiss glanced at the room behind her, noticing the way the soggy pizza boxes were leaking a grey puddle on the floor. "Relatively."

"Come home and let's put this all behind us."

"Why? So you can marry me off to someone marginally less disgusting than Jaune?" Weiss crossed her arms over her chest. "Let's not forget why you sent me to this… this _place _originally."

"Princess, if you disagreed so much, you could have just told me." He held up a hand. "I know, I know, you complained in the past, but you hadn't even met the boy."

"Of course I didn't complain after meeting him! When would I have gotten a chance?" Weiss's eyes narrowed. "People started trying to kill me shortly before the end of our first… Ugh, I can only call it a date but I wish there was another word for it."

"So how was he?" he asked in that infuriating tone only father's could produce. "I hear he's a gentleman."

"At best he's a boorish failure of one. He was exactly what I expected him to be, full of himself and so unbelievably stupid." Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose and cringed at the memory of some of the things he'd said while trying to be suave.

"First date jitters, we all get them," he dismissed with a flick of his fingers.

"You already have another marriage lined up for me, don't you?"

"Of course not Princess, just planning a vacation for you once you get back. Some peace and relaxation from your ordeal." He glanced out the corner of the screen and sighed. "Sorry dear, but it seems someone needs to talk to me and it's urgent." And with that, the call was terminated.

_He didn't even stay online long enough to find out where I was. _Weiss thought bitterly. After a few moments hesitation, Weiss dialled another number.

"Hello, Bank of Olympus."

"My name is Weiss Schnee, I want to see my family account's transaction history."

"Okay. We're going to need to do a facial recognition scan, and get the account password."

Once Weiss passed all the relevant security checks, she looked over their payment history, and found no sign of three million dollars being moved out of it since yesterday, though her sister had seemingly spent a hundred thousand dollars at a shoe shop.

Weiss had already assumed her father didn't pay the ransom, so she wasn't exactly _surprised _when she confirmed it, but… well, there's no way to find out exactly how much your father _isn't _willing to pay to save your life and not be disappointed. With a sigh, she turned off the console and took a step back.

Only to immediately regret it when something squelched under foot.

Weiss breathed air in through her nose, trying to calm herself. "That's. _it_." She growled, turning the echo machine back on. She scrolled through the local directory, before coming to the number she was after.

"Hello, Opportunity House Cleaning Services." The woman on the other end answered. "Where racial cleansing is second only to you home's."

"Hi, I need a house cleaned at…" She paused, before checking the local directory again. "Thirty One Heroism Avenue, downtown."

"Okay, the nearest appointment is… next month."

"How much would it cost to get you down here immediately?"

"Uh... " The woman blinked, before saying. "A million dollars?" Half jokingly.

"_**DONE**_." Weiss wired the money to the woman from her family's shared account.

Hanging up, she stalked across the squelching carpet and into the gym where she found Yang abusing another punching bag, and Blake reading a book about stealing cars of all things.

"I've hired a cleaner for your house." Weiss told Yang, folding her arms. "You're welcome."

"The last cleaner entered Ruby's workshop and was never seen again," said Yang as she ducked under some invisible blow and countered with a hook punch.

"Well this one just won't go into the basement then." Weiss snapped back. "Now, I'm hungry, I smell only marginally better than this place does, and refuse to walk around for a second longer than I have to without shoes. Who's taking me to the shops?"

"Ugh, Ruby won't budge from her workshop until she's finished whatever it is she's working on so I suppose I will." Yang gave one last punch before turning and yelling down a hole in the floor, "Yo Ruby, want skag again for dinner?"

"Sure!" came the muffled reply.

"Sweet. Let's go." Yang turned to Blake. "You coming?"

Wordlessly, Blake stood but didn't look up from her book.

For some reason this grated on Weiss's nerves. "I can't describe how much I hate you."

"Loath, detest, despise, abhor, execrate." Blake said, turning a page. "All are suitable synonyms for hate."

"Whatever." Weiss spat, before turning around and stalking out.

* * *

There was a couple of Japanese style public bath houses scattered throughout the city, all of which would allow Weiss to clean herself at a fiscally sensible price range. Weiss walked straight past them to the gaudy, spa and massage parlor where just an hour of the most basic back rub cost more than Yang and Ruby's house was worth.

Weiss went way beyond that to order a mud bath, seaweed wrap, full body massage, and a range of winter frost scented bath salts for all three of them. Only adding to the cost was the separate room she got for herself so she didn't have worry about being seen naked by either Yang or Blake.

The shoe shop was her next stop, where she stayed for just as long as it took to buy every single shoe in the store. Ranging from absolutely gorgeous high heeled stilettos to smaller shoes intended for young children and larger ones presumably for some kind of big footed, hypothetical, gorilla women.

Then of course she had to hire a truck because she couldn't carry all her purchases and a local moving company to pack all her new purchases in the back of a truck.

Next was a five a star restaurant, the sort where all the food servings were arranged decoratively in the centre of the plate, and arrayed neatly like some artist had been paid to make each meal look at small and pretentious as possible. There was gold work in all the plates, and the band playing for ambience was _fantastic_. After reserving every table in the house she then went to buy every item on the menu, before deciding better of it and just purchased the _entire restaurant_.

Staring at her brand new property, truck, and shoes, Weiss idly wondered at what point her father would cut off access to her family's account. All in all, her entire day's spendings was just a little over two million dollars. Small peanuts in the larger scale of things, sure but certainly more than any of this was really worth.

It was only when Weiss went to purchase four litres of lighter fluid and a book of matches that her father finally cut her off.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but your card's been cancelled." The cashier said.

Weiss stared at her, her fist clenched and her knuckles turning white. She grit her jaw, and furiously scrubbed at the tears welling in corner of her eyes.

Turning to Yang, she said, "Can I borrow some money?"

"What money?" said Yang.

Fighting the urge to slap her, Weiss turned to Blake. "Give me a hundred dollars."

Blake looked up from her book and tilted her head. Without a word, she handed over two, fifty dollar notes.

With her final purchases for the day, Weiss approached the giant truck of shoes and tore the caps off all four bottles, and upended their contents into the back of the vehicle. With a final growl, she lit a match and flicked it onto the pile.

Weiss found a bench a twenty metres away, and sat down to watch the column of black smoke spiral up into the sky. She was there for the next five minutes until someone called the fire department who came to put the blaze out.

"Ya know, we could have used them for target practice," said Yang, handing over a bottle of rakk whisky. "Got some fire guns back home."

Weiss took one sniff, before deciding better of it and handed the bottle back. "It smells like someone peed in the bottle."

"Yeah, a rakk." She cracked open a second bottle. "Good stuff though."

"I prefer fermented spike fruit." Blake commented idly from the other side, finally closing her book and tucking it under her arm.

"Chevreux, vintage 2026." Weiss muttered dully. "Finest wine ever made."

"Those things have no kick," said Yang.

"Well, not all of us are inbred Pandoran hicks." Weiss replied.

"I can attest that my parents are unrelated, as were their grand parents." Blake agreed.

"Not even from Pandora," added Yang.

Weiss snorted. "Could have fooled me. Where are you two from anyway?"

"Eden-5." Yang shrugged. "Place always suited Ruby more than me."

"Persiphron." Blake replied.

"Ha! Fellow slave, I like it." Yang raised her bottle before downing half the thing in one gulp. "Almost as bad as my prison."

"I was a servant slave," Blake said. "So I would assume your prison was more traumatic."

"You have no fucking idea."

"Well doesn't that just take the thunder out of my righteous anger." Weiss muttered. "I grew up on Olympus, in the cloud district. Right in the lap of luxury with everything I ever could have wanted handed to me on a silver platter."

"Boooooooooooooooooooooooooring." Yang flopped down onto the ground.

Weiss shrugged. "Not my fault my parents decided to ignore me rather than send me to prison or sell me into slavery."

"Should have made 'em."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "So, poor people, how does it feel to witness a privileged and rich heiress spend over two million dollars on things she doesn't need and then set it all on fire?"

"Spend ten thousand next time, and go for those super ugly paintings, like the one with the guy on the bridge, but his face is all wavey like his body," said Yang.

"I have no strong feelings on the subject."

Weiss ignored them both. "Does it strike either of you as all that relevant that my father refused to pay a ransom for my safety?"

"He's a bitch," replied Yang with a shrug.

"I wouldn't have paid that much to save you, either." Blake added.

"Figures." Weiss snorted. "I just… I just thought that even if we weren't close, we were family and… that that meant something, you know?"

Pause.

"Naaaaaaaaaaah, I mean, have you _seen_ Handsome Jack and his 'family'?" said Yang.

"Ugh." Weiss shuddered. "My father intended to marry me to one of those cretins."

"The pretty one?" asked Yang. "If so, totally worth it."

"I don't know which one is supposedly the pretty one. His name was Jaune, and I could barely stand him."

"Then you marry him, steal all the money then kill 'em," said Yang.

"Didn't you see how much I wasted this afternoon?" Weiss gave Yang an annoyed look. "I don't _need _money. I don't get why my father who's already a trillionaire and owns three percent of all wealth in the known universe gives a damn about getting even _more _money, or why I should have to be a part of that."

"Whelp, if you ever want help getting payback, I'm willing to go ten percent on the loot," said Yang. "Blake, ten percent of three trillion is still a lot, you want in?"

"It has been a vague ambition of mine for some time to purchase a moon and then digistruct its surface entirely into cheese."

"What kind of cheese?"

"A variety would be best. At least one ocean would have to be camembert and another triple bree."

"...Are you telling a joke?" Weiss frowned at the girl.

"I was attempting absurdism, or 'random' humor. As neither of you seemed to have found it funny, I suspect I will have to try again."

"Please don't." Weiss looked back ahead. "And no, I don't want revenge on my father."

"But the loot! The loot!"

"She makes a compelling argument." Blake agreed.

"Savages." Weiss muttered. "Yang, would you kill Ruby if you felt like she'd betrayed you?"

"Except she wouldn't betray me." Yang gasped and her eyes widened, her third bottle hitting the ground. "Unless it was because Blake turned the moon into different types of cheese and a cheese-pocalypse was on us with molten streams of cheddar flowing through the mountains, making the entire place smell like old socks! Or was that blue cheese that smells like old socks?"

Blake tilted her head. "That joke wasn't funny the first time."

"Gah, you're both useless." Weiss grumbled, standing up and dusting herself off. "Let's go see if the cleaning service is done with your house."

"Of course! They can clean up the cheese! Brilliant!"

"I hate you."

Yang laughed and stuck her tongue out. "Okay, twenty percent of the trillion dollar loot."

"You're not getting _any _of my family's fortune." Weiss replied, leading the three of them back towards the sister's home. "Even if I did kill my father, his wealth would be divided among my siblings as well."

"What's another murder or two between friends!" Yang threw an arm around Weiss' shoulders while holding yet another bottle of beer. "Cheers!"

"It strikes me that I wasn't at all surprised when I learned you'd been to prison." Weiss answered, throwing the arm off.

"Ooof! Hey now, not cool missy, not cool. And I didn't go to prison, I was… um… something, something, something?" Yang nudged Blake. "Help me out here."

Blake looked at her. "How?"

"Be my alibi," hissed Yang not at all subtly.

"Oh." Blake turned to Weiss. "She was with me the entire time."

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "While you were in prison?"

Blake paused, before glancing at Yang for confirmation.

"Yes."

She looked back to Weiss. "Yes."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Well aren't you two just chummy."

Blake paused. "I did not think that we were either raw fish and brine used as bait, nor did I think we were friends."

"Blake? Shut up and enjoy your drink."


	6. Turn the fan on and prepare the feces

Blake was fairly sure Alcohol was overrated in its worth as a substance. Yes, she did enjoy the fermented spike fruit bottle that Sun had shared with her from time to time. Even last night's engine-oil/fermented-skag-bile/medical-alcohol combination started to taste better as the evening wore on, though perhaps that was her taste buds deadening. But still, even with those points in its favor, there was no denying that alcohol was the only drink which actively punished people for partaking in it.

With a bottle of water in hand, a handful of aspirin in her stomach, and sunglasses over her eyes, she was ready to face the day, even if there was still a distinct piercing pain every time someone raised their voice or slammed a door.

Which Weiss was doing deliberately. The heiress hadn't drunk anything at all the night previous, and seemed to take a certain amount of sadistic pleasure in making Blake's morning even worse than it was should have been. Yang hadn't woken yet, but presumably she would be getting the same treatment from the Schnee that Blake did.

Blake felt overwhelmingly relieved when she stepped outside, away from the heiress's high pitched voice, and off to do her business for the day. And business was what it almost always was for her, acquiring information. She had been one of the White Fang's most active agents prior to her betrayal, and the main part of her work was keeping abreast of corporate activities on Pandora. After all, there was no point bombing a building full of Hyperion employees if they were just blue collar workers, better to find out the name of a local business head and targets his family, or maybe sabotage all his projects so Jack killed the man for them.

Blake didn't trust anyone in the business of corporate espionage, but if there was one man she'd acknowledge as never having sold her bad intl or never having betrayed her, it would be Ozpin. He was also, coincidentally, the only information broker she knew operating out of the city of Opportunity itself.

Descending down a ramp into the indoors part of Opportunity, she breathed a sigh of relief as she left direct sunlight. Even with her glasses, the brightness of the sun was bitingly unpleasant. Ozpin's 'office' was in the under level's of Jack's city, just a level above the sewer line and far below all the half finished skyscrapers that were going to be the main hub of the town.

As she approached his door, a camera in the wall turned, tracking her movement. The door was automatic, like most in Opportunity, but it was locked from the inside and would only open if Ozpin deemed the person outside 'safe', though when in the espionage business that was a relative term.

After a second, the door opened and Blake stepped through.

Ozpin was sitting at a simple wooden oak table, a mug of hot chocolate steaming away as he simply gazed at the ceiling. There was no weapon in sight, not even a knife or pistol as he sat there, perfectly still.

Blake kept all her weapons concealed too.

"Hello," she greeted quietly, taking a seat.

"Welcome, Miss Blake, you know, there is no reason to hide yourself." He put down the mug and laced his fingers together. "You have nothing to fear from me."

She tilted her head in reply. "I don't see how that's relevant."

He merely chuckled and shook his head. "I forget how literal you faunus may be. Would you like something to eat or drink, or shall we get down to business?"

"I have already eaten, and brought my own drink." She said, raising her water bottle so he could see it.

"So business it is then. What would you like to know?"

"Have you heard any news regarding me?"

"Some. Most think you died up on your last mission." Ozpin held up two fingers. "Two more questions and then I'm afraid you'll have to pay."

"Do you know anything about Atlas' board of investors?"

"That, I'm afraid, will cost you. Some information is more valuable than others," he said, almost sounding apologetic.

"Then that doesn't count towards my three questions." Blake said, and didn't wait to give him a chance to object. "What can you tell me about someone operating under the moniker, 'Angel'?"

"I'll let you in on a little secret, I don't know everything."

She would have sighed if she were human. "Do you have any information on the location of a second vault?"

"Unfortunately not, but I do have a lead." His drawer slide open and a small thumbdrive came out. "This will cost you two questions though and a bit of money."

"How about an exchange of information?" Blake proposed. "I know something that might be valuable to you."

He cock an eyebrow and leaned in. "Oh? Please, go on."

"Skintilt, of Atlas' board of director's, is dead and not in hiding."

"Is that so…" He rubbed his chin. "I know of a couple of people who would find that information very interesting. Very well, you have a deal." He slid the drive over the table. "A pleasure doing business with you, Miss Blake."

She nodded, before taking it. "If you hear anything about a women operating under the alias, 'Angel', please contact me."

He simply nodded and gestured at the door. "Do not fret, I will."

Without another word, she pocketed the drive and left. Thanks to the bottle of water and the fresh air, by the time she got back to Yang and Ruby's suburban house she was feeling somewhat better. Not bothering to knock, Blake stepped inside and made her way to the echo console.

Taking out the drive, she plugged it into the machine and found several files on it. Opening the first of the few images, there was a satellite view of what looked like a mountain falling apart. In the next image, the ruins of the mountain had fallen away to reveal what looked like a number of white and purple columns, arranged in a grid pattern several hundred meters across.

The next file was a video, shot on someone's echo device as he watched what looked like an endless barrage of moonshots rain down on the mountain from above. Under the sustained fire, the mountain began to deform before finally a moonshot smashed into the person filming the event. If the wet squishing sound was anything to go by, the cameraman didn't survive the experience.

The next file was an archeological report, speculating on the presence of a large Eridian ruin, somewhere on the east coast of the continent. With a sinking feeling, she opened the last file. It was a list of coordinates and craters impacts for all the moonshot landings and all four corners of the ruin.

Just as she feared. It was the White Fang base that she and Yang had almost entered in search of Angel's survivors.

Turning off the echo console, and pocketing the drive, she went to find Yang. Instead, she found herself being thrown into a chair as a very large and definitely not compensating for something sniper was shoved into her face.

"Blake! When did you get here? Nevermind about that, look! I finished Karl, isn't he a darling? Sleek Hyperion scope with counter balance weight to improve stability, Vladof grip to reduce recoil and super comfy, Maliwan scope 'cause Maliwan scopes are just _awesome_ and then my pride and joy, the chamber-thingie. It's not a chamber, but I'm calling it a chamber 'cause I made it from a chamber, but it's not really a chamber." Ruby spun the six glowing... 'chambers'. "Fire, shock, corrosive, normal aaaaaaaaaaaaand slag. No explosive though, couldn't get it to work, but isn't it awesome? I can rapidly switch between each one depending on what element I want and boom!"

The gun fired, impacting the wall, cutting through it as though it didn't even exist, leaving behind a nice neat hole that was slowly widening as acid ate through the plaster. Ruby's constant manic grin and heavy bags under her eyes, did not reassure Blake in the slightest.

"Headshot!" Ruby nuzzled it. "Isn't it the best?"

"It seems over engineered." Blake pointed out. "Unless all elemental effects are applied to all shots, having an inconsistent variety of attacks will only be unhelpful if a fire shot is acciden-"

"Well duh, it's got a proper magazine thingie and then each one of these chambers is a different Maliwan powercell with a different elemental affinity so I have manual control over the chamber like so." Reaching forward, Ruby spun the chamber, clicking the red one into position. "And now it's a fire pew-pew gun! Got a little indicator at the bottom of the scope, see? So now if I fire-"

The cleaning lady was promptly set on fire.

"-it burns stuff instead! The normal one is just, you know, no powercell and last one is for when I figure out how to make explosive work."

Blake nodded in understanding. "It seems over engineered." She repeated. "Even with manual control over which elemental effect is fired, the increased number of complex mechanical parts, not to mentioned the presence of multiple dangerous elements in close proximity to the actual chamber would wildly increase the chance of failure, or critical failure. Maintaining the gun in the field without specialised equipment will be almost impossible."

"Bah! Karl is a sexy, sexy beast and you know it."

"I think finding a gun arousing is a problem you should discuss with a professional."

"Whatever, now where's that…" Ruby blinked. "Huh, when did we have a kitchen sink?"

"It looks like its been in place since the house was constructed."

"Weird…" Ruby slowly spun around. "Did we move house? I don't recall us having a red carpet or beige walls or, hey! Mr Fluffy!" Ruby ran over to the dining room table and poked the stuffed cat. "I haven't seen you in years."

"Weiss hired a cleaning company." Blake offered as an explanation.

"When?"

Blake checked her watch. "Twenty one hours, thirty three minutes ago. Approximately."

"The last cleaning company we hired said it'd take a month to clean everything. Just ended up burning everything." Ruby slowly turned around, taking in the room. "We really should repaint the entire thing."

"You seem to be under the mistaken impression that I'm interested in anything you've said during this conversation. I apologise if I've mistakenly given you that impression, but I have something important to discuss with you and your sister."

"You know, you need to work on your people skills. Step one, smile!" Ruby reached up and grabbed Blake's cheeks, pushing them upwards into smile.

"Smiling indicates happiness, which would be an inaccurate portrayal of what I'm feeling right now." Blake grabbed Ruby's hands, firmly moving them away from her face.

"There's always something to be happy about!"

"Potentially true, but I currently have more to be irritated about. Where's your sister? I have a lead on the vault."

"Why didn't you say so?!" All of a sudden, Blake found herself being dragged up the stairs far faster than she thought possible, half stumbling over the steps and half tripping over her own feet. "She's in her workroom."

"I find you to be a troublesome conversationalist." Since when was Ruby able to move this fast?

"And I find you to be silly. Boop." Blake blinked as Ruby poked her nose, but before she could react, she found herself being shoved through a door.

Rather fed up with being dragged around by the questionably sane human, Blake twisted her hand out of the girl's grip. "I would strongly prefer it if you never did that again." She readjusted her sunglasses before turning to face the room. "Yang."

Only for what appeared to be a dumbbell to fly straight at her face. She only barely avoided it by tilting her head to the side.

"I thought I told you to get out!"

"I do not believe we discussed me leaving." Blake replied, glancing at where the weighted metal had left a dent in the wall. "But if I'm mistaken then-"

"Oh, it's you, nah, it's fine, come in." Yang leaned to the side, looking past Blake. "Yo, Ruby, done with your husband? Sure he's not overcompensating for something?"

"He's not my husband!" said Ruby before adding under her breath, "Not yet anyways."

"And sorry about that, thought you were the cleaning ladies Weiss hired." Yang shuddered. "They need to be locked up in a Vault."

"Now that you've mentioned vaults, they are relevant to the conversation. As per social convention, I'm making vault hunting the official topic of this conversation. Any deviation from this topic from this point forward is officially unwelcome." Blake declared, tired of the randomness and stupidity of humans in general in this pair in particular. Why did she even leave the White Fang again?

"Um… sure?" said Yang.

If Blake was human, she would have smiled at successfully navigating the confusing currents and tides of human conversation. Instead, she just continued on topic. "I have a lead that could potentially direct us to the location of a vault."

"I sense a 'but' coming," said Yang.

"Posteriors are not relevant to vault hunting." Blake looked at Yang. "Please refrain from mentioning them for the duration of vault hunting as a conversational topic." With their discussion successfully rerailed, she continued. "Unfortunately, it's in the location we just came from. Handsome Jack and a significant force of loaders have already moved to secure the area, and presumably the Pyrrha Nikos will be there working for him."

"I dunno Blake, Pyrrha does have a nice butt." Behind her, Ruby snickered. "But seriously, we just sneak in and sneak out, easy. Loaders aren't very smart."

"If I were going in alone I would be more confident with that assessment, but in the brief time I've known you two, never once have I known either of you to be silent." She looked directly at Yang. "Not even in your sleep."

"Hey, are you say-"

"Yes, Yang, yes she is," said Ruby. "There's a reason why I never take any stealth missions and all the ones you take end up like that one time at The Fridge."

"Oh yeah!" Yang grinned as she stared off into space. "Damn, Mister Torgue would have been proud of that explosion."

"That's really not an apt point of comparison." Blake tilted her head. "Mister Torgue is as equally enthusiastic about stars going supernova as he is about firecrackers in mailboxes."

"It was awesome," drawled Yang.

"Yeeeeaaaaah, moving on…" Ruby turned to Blake. "We could probably sneak past them. It's the coming back that's an issue. Yang is a bit trigger happy."

Blake nodded in understanding. "I have noticed she smiles an inordinate amount while firing her gun."

"Be glad she's on our side. Come on, we should get to the mission room, it'll be an hour before Yang snaps out of it."

"That sounds agreeable." Blake followed Ruby out of the room.

* * *

It was nothing the world had ever witness before. There was Jaune, sun shining down on him through the smoky clouds, turning his blonde hair into a brilliant halo while his perfect teeth glinted in the rays. Beneath him, in a junk pile a mile deep, lay the corpses of his enemies. Limbs rent from limbs, eyes gouged out of their sockets and weapons broken in half over his manly shoulders.

Shoulders that carried the fate of the world.

Though blood poured from the gash in his side, he stood tall and proud, cape billowing in the wind. Long ago had his gun jammed on the electronic blood of his prey, but that didn't stop him. With nothing but his bare fists and his radiant masculinity, he took them down three at a time.

'He's so gorgeous,' they would sing.

'Look at his manly biceps,' cooed another.

Yes, there was nothing in this world quite like Jaune Arc. With just one look he would leave all the females in a two block radius pregnant and all the males would turn ga-

"I would like to kill you." Commander Velvet said, staring out at the ruined mountainside. "I've had an intense dislike of you fef-"

"Shhhhhh~" said Jaune as he gazed out at the majestic mountain side. A true testament to his power.

With just one look he would leave all the females in a three bl-

"It's only in the last ten minutes that I realised what true hatred is." Velvet said. "It's what I feel now, when I'm looking a-"

"Shhhhhhhh."

With just one lo-

"Handsome Jack was originally my personal image of everything wrong with the universe, but you just supplanted him. Which is saying something, given the continued genocide and experimentation he conducts on my people."

"Look, lady, I'm trying to have a moment here. A _private_ moment, can't this wait?"

"No, it really can't." Velvet's normally blank face wasn't look so devoid of emotion. She actually almost seemed mildly irritated, which by Faunus standards must have meant she was utterly livid.

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine." With a roll of his eyes, Jaune folded his arms. "Look lady, I took out at least a hundred loaders with those explosives and bought us a good thirty minutes, you should be thanking me."

"Except you exposed an Eridian ruin, essentially giving it straight to Jack. You were not asked to place explosives, you did not warn us that you did it, ultimately it will be your fault if Jack gets his hands on a second vault."

"Hey, I didn't know they were there and you didn't tell me they were there and please, no need to act surprised that I figured out that tiny detail." Pause. "Seriously, act surprised will you?"

"I'm incapable of acting surprised." Velvet replied.

"Fine, whatever. And you know, Jack would have found it in five seconds once he sent those loaders out to scout. You should be thanking me, by doing that, and by that I mean the totally awesome explosion, we brought us even more time!"

"We were taking steps to cover the entrance of the vault when you detonated that mountain. At least eight faunus are almost certainly dead."

"Eight faunus or one hundred loaders. Eight… or a hundred…" Jaune began counting on his fingers. "I dunno about you, but one hundred is a lot higher and seriously? Cover the entrance. That was your big plan. Against Handsome Jack, the guy who has a million loaders and even more money."

"One hundred loaders will be replaced in the first five minutes of operation one of Jack's large scale constructors."

"And the time it takes to dig through the tunnels due to the cave in?" Jaune shook his head. "I swear I'm talking to people who failed basic maths."

Velvet turned to face him, opened her mouth to say something, then stopped herself. Her fists were clenched hard enough that Jaune could see the blood drawn by her nails digging into her palms. Without saying anything, she turned away and stalked towards her vehicle.

"Idiot," muttered Jaune under his breath as he turned back towards the ruin.

It was a thing of absolute beauty. Made of what looked like marble stone, but clearly wasn't given its resistance to gunfire and explosives, it had purple veins spider webbing across its surface. A giant, square almost courtyard like structure, perfectly flat save for various gatelike arches hanging in the air and stone columns, each more than ten metres tall jutting up into the in perfect row after row, spaced exactly ten metres apart.. Atop some of the pillars were statues, unharmed by being buried under a mountain, even though a couple of clumps of dirt stuck to them in places. There was no pattern to which columns had the angelic, strangely feminine statues atop them. Disturbingly, all the statues wore grim masks.

Maybe he could get a couple taken up and planted in his front yard, that'd be pretty sweet.

Hopping out of the truck and making his way over to the makeshift encampment they had set up, he stalked into the tent and sat down. A quick tap on the side of the sunglasses he wore and the heat signatures of those around him popped up. No one seemed to be listening in, that was good. He idly flicked through his contacts, deleting the three dozen emails from his 'girlfriend' before settling on one final name.

As he dialed her number, an all too peppy and sugary song played over the headphone. Five seconds in and he already had diabetes and if it wasn't because they were just so fucking good at their job, he'd have them assassinated personally. Along with whoever the artist of the song is.

Then the music suddenly cut off, and there was the sound of wind in the background.

"Yo, Ren, buddy, it's me!"

The phone hung up.

With a roll of his eyes, Jaune dialed the number again.

Once again it was 'answered', though Ren didn't say anything.

"Aaaaaaaanyways, there seems to be a temple here that looks like it was made by the same people who made the Vault. Probably want to get your butts down here." A couple taps of the screen and Jaune sent photo and video evidence as well as co-ordinates. "Better get down here quick or bandits will get all the goods!"

There was a pause, before the phone hung up again.

Jaune just stared at the echo device. "Oh come on! Bah, should have called Nora."

Then his phone rang, Nora's number appearing on the screen.

He flicked it open and kicked back in his seat. "Nora, baby, long time no hear!"

"Jaune? Ren says you have an Eridian ruin, he seemed excited! Well, not really he seemed, you know, interested, but that's a lot coming from him! You really have one?!"

"Yep! The real deal, gimme a sec." He resent all the data. "Gonna be swarming with bandits soon, so get down quick, if you're interested, I can set you up with a Hyperion ship."

"No, we're already nearby. There was some giant lava crab worm thingy that we got hired to kill on the east coast but this seems waaaaaaaaaay cooler! The giant worm can wait, it'll only kill like, a dozen settlements in the meantime anyway, right? We'll totally be right there, don't let anyone get all the good stuff first."

"Sweet, have fun, and we're totally even now, yeah?"

"Only if there's loot!" Then she hung up.

"I swear I'm going to kill that girl someday." Jaune closed his eyes and grinned. "Now, time to watch the skag hit the windshield."


End file.
